Post # 1
Does anyone else feel lonely? My SO and I are best friends. We live together and spend the majority of our non working hours together. Recently he has been bummed out, and I asked him abt it. He is upset that he doesn’t have friends anymore. Neither do I, really. This has nothing to do with each other and neither f us blame the other.
For work reasons, over the past 4 years we have moved 4 times. We finally bought a home and settled a year ago. We live in between each of our jobs, leaving us both with an hour drive to and from work. We are abt 2 hours from each of our families so we don’t see them all the time.
My good friends all live in another state, 8 hrs away. So I don’t see them frequently… The majority of them are now married w kids, so there isn’tmuch timeyo chat either. My SO best friend got married and had a baby within the past 2 years. His life has completely changed, and now him and my so have less in common.
My SO is a quiet person, and we really don’t have any friends that live near us and are in the same stage of their lives… And ideas how to meet people? SO is very quiet, and we live in a suburban town, not near a city.
Post # 3
We don’t really have a lot of friends either – except our “work” friends… We have 3 kids so it doesn’t really bother us right now, but they are getting older and sometimes when they are all gone at the same time, we talk about how we don’t do anything with friends anymore because we dont have any….lol… sorry I couldn’t help, but keep in mind you guys are not alone
Post # 4
FI has friends, but I guess I wouldn’t call them too good of friends because they never call him or come visit. I am friendly with people at work and have a good time with them there, but none of us actually hang out outside of work even if it’s been brought up before.
We were just talking to my cousin (who is going through a rough time with depression) that we don’t have friends either. Our life together consist of work, sleep, and home. Does it suck? Yeah, at times. But we are homebodies most of the time. We know how to have a good time together. It also leaves out any extra drama that seems to come our way.
I don’t have any advice on how to meet people. Just wanted to share my side of the story so you know that you two aren’t alone.
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2015 - Russell's Pizza House
Sounds just like my situation. I moved for work 18months ago to a job that doesn’t really lend itself to being social. My BF and I have no social life here and no friends… They are all now 8 hours away. I wan’t my old life back 🙁 I’m feeling your pain *hugs*
Sometimes I think that if we got married now I wouldn’t even have enough female friends for bridesmaids… Sad huh!
Post # 6
Take up a hobby or a class. A cooking class or a sports team. Look into volunteer opportunities. I moved to a new country after getting married and am a 6hr flight from all my friends and an 11 hour flight away from my family. I have met the majority of my friends through my hobby, horse back riding. I joined a social/riding club and my network has blown up.
If you can find somewhere to start where you all have a common denominator, the friendships will come.
Check and see if there are any meetup groups in your area that spark your interest.
Post # 7
@LobotomyParty: Exactly! I am friendly with people at work but we do not spend time together outside of work. My co workers aren’t really close to my age either. I need a hobby! Between long workdays and the commute I’m usually exhausted tho.
Post # 8
@KatNYC2011: I know this is what we need to do, but my so is very quiet so I’m not sure he would make friends this way. As for me, I dont even know what my hobby would be (sad, right). I have always Had something going on to keep me busy, school, house buying, decorating our home, new puppy, etc. Now that I have free time I don’t know what I like todo!
Post # 9
@Sa7208: Where in Jersey do you two live?
Post # 10
@Sa7208: That is the great thing about taking a class, you immediately have something to talk about. What about wine tasting or beer brewing? The addition of alcohol would make the conversation flow a bit easier.
Putting yoyrself out there can be uncomfortable, but it is the only way. People aren’t going to come knocking on your door looking for new friends.
Post # 11
Same here. I have no friends here, since moving to Australia 9 months ago. I haven’t met anybody. FI has a few “buddies” that he sees very rarely and they are all his age (he’s 18 years older than me).
The only friend of his that has ever bothered to do anything with me or invite me out is the mother of his ex-fiancee. Fortunately, she’s a really nice lady and it’s not awkward at all, but she is in her 60s, so we don’t have many common interests. I think she only invites me to do things because she feels sorry for me. But I guess pity is better than nothing!
I basically just sit at home by myself all day and then when FI comes home, I’ve missed him so much that I only want to spend time with him anyway. We’re happy just doing things together, but sometimes I wish we had some friends… or rather that I had friends. I often feel pretty lonely and isolated and I can’t even get a pet because I’m allergic. 🙁
Post # 12
As for ideas how to meet people, how about through activities – like running clubs, kickball clubs, wine tasting clubs, book clubs, etc. I do also think the easiest way to meet people is through work, if there is anyone at work with similar interests as you just ask them if they want to go to lunch or happy hour one day. Facebook and email have made it a lot easier than it used to be to keep in touch, drop someone a quick note about getting together to try that new restaurant, or go to a happy hour someone posts about and hang out for a few beers. If anyone from High School or College lives near you now just let them know you are new to the area and would love to get together with them and catch up. You do need to put in some effort to make and maintain friendships, but it is definitely worth it as I am always saddened by these types of posts.
Post # 13
@Edelweiss: I did that for the first 4 months I lived here, it got really sad and depressing. As hard as it is you have to make yourself get out there. Step out of your comfort zone. You are the one who wants something (friends) so you need to go out and get them. No one is going to do it for you. It sucks at first, but once you start making connections it is great.
Post # 14
FI and I have moved twice in two years and the most recent one, three months ago, was to a state halfway across the country and 16 hours away from all of our friends and family. I was really, really close to my friends in New England but after we moved away I barely talk with them and it’s usually just texting. FI and I work at the same company and we have some friends there but we don’t really spend time with them outside of the office. When we do, I always leave thinking that I would have had more fun (and been more comfortable) alone with FI at home.
I feel like all we do is work, sleep, and plan the wedding. I want to make friends and have dinner parties – I love to cook – but I’m having a hard time meeting people that are friendly and nice… and unfortunately we don’t have a dining room table yet 🙂
Post # 15
I don’t have too many friends either, but FI has some. I do have a best friend, and I have acquaintances, but I am more quiet and independent. It’s something I’m working on, as it would be nice to go out with a friend every once in a while.
Post # 16
I feel your pain, too. Just posted about something related here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/co-workers-dont-like-husband-how-to-react
Me and my SO both tend to be quiet around new people…
Well, not really helpful, I know… but you are not alone at feeling alone. 😉