Post # 1
Ill start with apologizing if this will be a bit long and messy. My english is not great so I hope you will understand me anyway. I just have to get this of my chest…
I have always wanted a “reall bachelorette” party, which in sweden means a day with your girlfriends. Usualy beeing “kidnapped” in the morning, have some fun acitvity, eat lunch maybe go to a spa and then go out and party or something in that way. But I now moved to greece and here they dont do that at all. They just have a night out with the girls.
I never had a big group of firends but sense I moved its been very few. Home in sweden I really have two firends left and here in greece I dont have any. A few that I see now and then, some girlfriends of my FI friends that I talk with when we are out all together. Someone that lives on the same island but to far away to meet on a regular basis.
My sweidsh guests will arrive the thursday before the wedding, and even if it was not really like I would have dreamed about we desided to make a “greek bachelorette” on thursday night. My two friends, my FI sisters, girlfriends of my FI friends and a few others that I know but wouldnt really call friends.
Then we got a problem with our daughter’s baptism. It has to be done befor the wedding, sense we have the party for both. One of her godfathers lives far away and cant get here many times so it has to be close. I said NO to have it the day before, it will be to much stress. So that leaves only thursday. My guests will get here at lunch time and we have planed for a welcome lunch and have things to prepare before they get here. So the baptism have to be on thursday evening.
I said that it was okej. The bachelorett is anyway so far from what I would want. Its going to be only two persons there that really knows and loves me. I feel like its a risk that I (aspecially after a few drinks) just will feel sad and totally pathetic.
Now I just feel so sad. Not only that I will not have a bachelorette at all, but moste cos I feel like a real loser not to have any friends. Its the most embarrassing feeling… I was worried about it before, what we should do and who would come, but now when its decided that I wont have anything at all it feels even worse.
Post # 2
kittwn: Awww, try not to feel too badly. It’s really hard when you move somewhere and don’t know anyone. Can you possibly do a little something with girlfriends after the baptism party? A bachelorette party is really no biggie, though, if you don’t have one. The important thing is you have your family and friends around and you are getting married! Woot!!
Post # 3
kittwn: I don’t really have advice, but I’m sorry you’re feeling embarrassed. I don’t think you should feel embarrassed though, you really only need a couple close friends and relatives in your adult life and obviously you moved a huge distance, so it’s hard to keep/make friends after that.
It unfortunately sounds like one of those times where you have be an adult and suck it up for your daughter’s sake. Try to enjoy whatever bachlorette party you can and remember that soon you will be married to the love of your life and the bachlorette won’t seem so important.
Post # 4
RedHeadKel: Thank you. I might be able to if we want to..
But Im scared that I will just feel sad that “that was all” and nothing what I wanted. Really I guess its not really about the party, its just that it so clearly point out that Im alone.
Post # 5
kittwn: Hopefully you will still be able to enjoy yourself. It is really hard feeling friendless or that your friends are all far away. Fortunately you will still get to see them before the wedding. Try to focus on the positive. Things may still work out.
Post # 6
kittwn: Im sorry this is making you feel sad. I guess I will try to sway it from a brighter side, to hopefully try to make you feel better about the situation. First, although the timeline is not ideal, you do have people that are willing to throw you a little something special, with female family/friends, even if it is not a HUGE group of people. Second, bachelorette parties, although their traditions/meanings vary from culture to culture, can be a stressful event in its planning/execution for many brides-to-be, so at least you will miss that fiasco (seriously, read thru boards here about it!!). Third, I think the whole thing can be overrated…the idea that you are going out ONE LAST TIME with your gal pals before marriage is really quite ‘wrong’. I know that after marriage I will continue to plan, and have fun, on my girls days/nights. Sure, it will not be ‘all about me’, nor will I wear a crown or sash, but it will still be pretty darn fun 🙂 Fourth, I just had mine this past weekend. Although my group was a nice size, because I live in the same city with friends and family(!!!), it was really low key. Nice dinner, followed by cocktails, followed by bed. No ‘flare’, no ‘craziness’. That may not be others idea of fun, and although various events are still OK, I know it was perfect for me. And, your evening out on that Thursday might be perfect enough for you!!
I think you feel will miss out on something ‘bigger’, and that is not necessarily the case, is my point. So instead of feeling embarrassed, embrace the potential lack of headaches you are possibly going to miss 🙂 Good luck!
Post # 7
Aww. ::Hugs:: First off, your daughter is absolutely adorable (I’m assuming that’s her in your avatar pic)! Second, I’m sorry. That’s a hard situation to be in and feel right before your wedding. I had a very small wedding with no bachelorette party before hand–just a nice, intimate bridal tea and it was awesome! Perhaps you and your friends could go out for somethng like that or nice lunch and spa-day? It stinks not to be able to celebrate in the traditional way you’d like to, but in the scheme of things, you’ve got so much more to focus on. Don’t feel sad or embarrassed! Enjoy the festivities and traditions you can celebrate that week (like your daughter’s baptism). Congrats on your upcoming wedding and hopefully you’ll be able to do a little something to make you feel special–even if it’s not an all-day affair! 🙂
Post # 8
Thank you so much everyone! It feels good just to get it out and get some nice response.
We will have FAR from a small wedding… around 800 guests. But only around 50 of them are “mine”
anyway I will talk with my friends and if we cant have a bachelorette maybe we can take some other day when they are here (they will stay a week) we will take some time to go out, or go to a spa or get a way a few ours to another town, we will see.
Thank you again