Post # 1
So my DH and I got married last month (yay!) and so now I’m busy writing thank you cards. We had set up a gift registry and were very lucky to have some wonderful gifts as well as cash/ cheques. Now can I just say that although obviously we wanted presents (otherwise we wouldn’t have set up the registry!) it was a lot more important that our guests came to share the day with us. we were careful to include a range of gifts and price brackets, ranging from £5 to £100 and we also received bottles of champagne and wine too which were lovely. Not everyone bought us gifts, which was fine because we had some beautiful cards and lovely memories with everyone from the day.
However, today I realised that my cousin did not give us a gift – that’s fine, as I said he’s not the only one. But he didn’t even give us a card?! I don’t know why but this has really bothered me! He came to the wedding and as is often the case I just didn’t have enough time to speak to everyone. I know we said hi/hug/congratulations etc and he left fairly early in the evening without saying goodbye. As far as I’m aware he doesn’t have money problems and is in a happy relationship – he and his partner were both there. As far as I know nothing has happened or I haven’t done anything to cause him any offence. I would never, ever attend a wedding without sending a congratulations card at the very least! I think it’s quite rude of him and I’m a little offended. I know that for some people cards aren’t a big deal but it’s customary to give them (where we live at least). To turn up at a wedding without even a celebration card is rude isn’t it?!
I think think this is really rude… But am I being over sensitive/ overreacting?!
Post # 2
I understand. I’m so thankful we had guests come, gifts were great but not expected. I do wish we had gotten a card from everyone though. We did have a guest book but not everyone signed it. Without cards there were people there I didn’t even know we’re there. (They did not go through the receiving line and I had 350 guests. ) I felt bad when I found out I had a friend there I didn’t talk to 3 weeks after my wedding.
Post # 3
I can see why you’re offended.
I don’t think this is a big deal, but that’s just me. He did tell you congratulations and all that, so that’s something; the fact that he didn’t put that sentiment in a card doesn’t really change anything, at least not to me.
Personally, I would send him a Thank You card, because he did attend and say ‘congratulations’. I would give him the benefit of the doubt on this one.
Post # 4
For all you know, your cousin forgot the card at home and was embarrassed to say anything. Or it got lost or accidentally thrown away. Or he doesn’t know that bringing a card is customary. Don’t get all worked up over this.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2014 - Gold Hill Gardens
I understand where you’re coming from! We got married almost two months ago, and there are some people I am surprised we didn’t even get a card from! The most surprising to me was my husband’s cousin and his wife. A year and a half ago we were asked at their rehearsal dinner if we could set up their venue for them while their immediate families did photos and such. We said of course, and busted our butts to get their ceremony and reception site all done. And then gave them a card and gift. But we don’t even have a card from them . . . Even just a handwritten note or something . . .
Post # 6
Welshwife2014: How old is your cousin? My parent’s have given a card from “all of us” for my cousins weddings. Maybe your cousin just assumed the card from his parents would include him too?
Post # 7
He made an effort to come to your wedding and congratulated you. If you were as busy with your guests as you say you were, there wouldn’t be much opportunity for him to say good night to you before he left. I’d let it go.
Post # 8
Yeah i dont know, seems like with newlywed life and everything getting offended over your cousin not bringing a card is a little extreme. Plus hes a guy, alot of guys i know, dont do the card thing, Pick your battles. Congrats on the wedding
Post # 9
Some (let me correct that, many) people just don’t know rules of etiquette when it comes to a wedding. I would give him the benefit of the doubt that he and his partner didn’t know any better. I can completely understand why it would bother you though.
Post # 10
Welshwife2014: I think you are right to feel a little hurt, but definitely let it go. Is he a single man? I only ask because (and I am judging off my FI alone) men don’t always realize that something like a card can hurt someones feelings. Since I’ve gotten together with FI if I don’t grab a gard and a gift for a wedding, FI won’t even think to do so. I also remember being at a weird age where my parents still included me in gifts and signed my name on cards. Is this cousin on the younger side or the older side? I would say that he should have at least gotten you a card, but in all honesty it probably didn’t even register to him at all. I would just move on.