No gift for our wedding – fine. But no card?!

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
732 posts
Busy bee

I understand.  I’m so thankful we had guests come, gifts were great but not expected. I do wish we had gotten a card from everyone though. We did have a guest book but not everyone signed it. Without cards there were people there I didn’t even know we’re there. (They did not go through the receiving line and I had 350 guests. ) I felt bad when I found out I had a friend there I didn’t talk to 3 weeks after my wedding. 

Post # 3
1715 posts
Bumble bee

I can see why you’re offended.

I don’t think this is a big deal, but that’s just me. He did tell you congratulations and all that, so that’s something; the fact that he didn’t put that sentiment in a card doesn’t really change anything, at least not to me. 

Personally, I would send him a Thank You card, because he did attend and say ‘congratulations’. I would give him the benefit of the doubt on this one. 

Post # 4
5763 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

For all you know, your cousin forgot the card at home and was embarrassed to say anything. Or it got lost or accidentally thrown away. Or he doesn’t know that bringing a card is customary. Don’t get all worked up over this.

Post # 5
760 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Gold Hill Gardens

I understand where you’re coming from! We got married almost two months ago, and there are some people I am surprised we didn’t even get a card from! The most surprising to me was my husband’s cousin and his wife. A year and a half ago we were asked at their rehearsal dinner if we could set up their venue for them while their immediate families did photos and such. We said of course, and busted our butts to get their ceremony and reception site all done. And then gave them a card and gift. But we don’t even have a card from them . . . Even just a handwritten note or something . . . 

Post # 6
865 posts
Busy bee

Welshwife2014:  How old is your cousin?  My parent’s have given a card from “all of us” for my cousins weddings.  Maybe your cousin just assumed the card from his parents would include him too?

Post # 7
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

He made an effort to come to your wedding and congratulated you.  If you were as busy with your guests as you say you were, there wouldn’t be much opportunity for him to say good night to you before he left.  I’d let it go.

Post # 8
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: mountain venue

Yeah i dont know, seems like with newlywed life and everything getting offended over your cousin not bringing a card is a little extreme. Plus hes a guy, alot of guys i know, dont do the card thing, Pick your battles. Congrats on the wedding

Post # 9
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Some (let me correct that, many) people just don’t know rules of etiquette when it comes to a wedding.  I would give him the benefit of the doubt that he and his partner didn’t know any better.  I can completely understand why it would bother you though.

Post # 10
3088 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Welshwife2014:  I think you are right to feel a little hurt, but definitely let it go. Is he a single man? I only ask because (and I am judging off my FI alone) men don’t always realize that something like a card can hurt someones feelings. Since I’ve gotten together with FI if I don’t grab a gard and a gift for a wedding, FI won’t even think to do so. I also remember being at a weird age where my parents still included me in gifts and signed my name on cards. Is this cousin on the younger side or the older side? I would say that he should have at least gotten you a card, but in all honesty it probably didn’t even register to him at all. I would just move on.

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