Post # 1
Alright first off, I am sure someone is going to get snarky, and make me close this thread. I am not trying to sound like a spoiled brat who needs presents, but is it not proper etiqutte for the bridal party to get a gift of some sort, or at least a THANK YOU??
The wedding I was in was yesterday, and she had 5 girls and the Groom had 3 guys. Between the dress, shoes, make up, hair, nails that I had to pay for, I spent over $500!!!!!! On a part time/college budget, and 2 of the girls dont have jobs, so lord only knows how they managed that. We threw her a shower and bachlorette. At the rehersal dinner, she gave us a bag with a card and the jewelry she wanted us to wear. The card said “Please wear this at the wedding, Thanks”
Um, really? I don’t need a coach purse or a $150 necklace, but not at least a card????
I KNOW someone is going to say I am being grabby or ungrateful, but I feel like etiquette/tradition always says that they give something. I just want a card
For thanking me on the time and money we all spent on someones wedding, and I thought she loved the shower and everything else we did for her.
Post # 3
I would say the bride assumed that you understood that the jewellery was your “gift”. There seems to be quite a few brides that think that props for their wedding are “gifts’ for their bridal party.
Post # 4
She gave you a purse and jewelry for the wedding, I think that was the gift. Unfortunately, you don’t get to pick the gift that you get. Sorry. :/
Post # 5
Gifts shouldn’t be self serving. If they could afford nothing else, a card would have been nice, at least. This does seem a bit rude.
Post # 6
@Liss13: When I was a BM, I just received a gift without a card. I figured the gift was the Thank You.
Post # 7
I’m confused, I thought you said there was a card that said “Please wear this” – was there a card or not?
Post # 9
@futuremrsk18: No not a purse. A bag like a gift bag. Sorry, I should have clarified.
@futuremrsk18: That WAS the card. Not a thank you card, a card stuck to the earrings saying “wear this”
Post # 10
@j_jaye: Ive noticed that on the Hive alot. Thanks
Post # 11
Honestly, I didn’t even know bridesmaids GOT gifts. I will be a bridesmaid for a close friend of mine. I will have easily spent close to $800 (travel, hotels, bridesmaid dress, gift, etc), and I expect nothing. I am there for her on her wedding day, and I honestly don’t expect anything out of it other than celebrating with her on her day.
If you cared so much about the gift, maybe you shouldn’t have accepted to be her bridesmaid?
Post # 12
The last time I was a bridesmaid, a thank you card and a gift were sent to me after the newlyweds got back from their honeymoon. I wasn’t expecting a gift, so it was a nice surprise.
Your gift and/or card could still be on its way.
Post # 13
Personally I don’t care about getting a BP gift, I just want a “thank you.” I agree with you, OP. I don’t think jewelry for the wedding is actually a gift.
Post # 14
@Liss13: The bag with the jewelry was your gift. One of my friends did exactly the same thing when I was in her wedding. I’ve seen it at other weddings too. I think a lot of brides do that nowadays, whether it is an ettiquette faux-pas or not.
Ultimately, though. ANY gifts (wedding, bridesmaid or otherwise) are technically not obligatory–so they shouldn’t be expected. So…while it would have been in better form for her to have done more for you (ie. gotten you a gift that wasn’t a prop for her wedding), you probably shouldn’t have expected anything either.
Post # 15
I dunno, I think it’s in poor form to expect gifts, regardless of if you’re the bride or the bridesmaid.
Post # 16
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
I think it depends heavily on whether she has done something else for you. For example, we are paying for food and lodging for our bridal party for a WEEK so they can sightsee/enjoy the area. I consider that their gift. I will probably also buy the day of jewelry for the BMs, but that isn’t a gift. Will I still thank each of them personally? Absolutely. But I won’t necessarily buy a gift or card for them. I wrote them each a personal letter when we asked them to be involved.
Did she express her thanks verbally, at least? I am not in board with the trend that something “required” (hair, makeup, jewelry) is a gift.