(Closed) No gift from couples who give gifts – AWKWARD!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
44 posts
Newbee

Write them a letter that says something like “It was so lovely to see you at our wedding. We had such a lovely time on the honeymoon and married life is wonderful. We hope your summer is going well.” Don’t mention anything about presents. If they did send a present, they’ll realize that you aren’t just ungrateful, and this will be their cue to check with you or your parents and see whether it got lost.

Post # 5
Member
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I wouldn’t know what to do either!

Post # 6
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’d go with a thank you note that thanks them for attending the wedding and how nice it was to see them there. Don’t mention your honeymoon (since it’s a potential gift, maybe they tried to give you funds towards it but there was a computer issue).

If they don’t check up on a gift that may have been lost, then you can’t really do it politely. I was surprised that a couple of people who didn’t give gifts, but sometimes people flake out or think they’ll order something later and then don’t. Maybe you’ll receive a gift in the next few weeks (like if they waited to long to order something before the wedding, then knew you’d be away on your honeymoon).

Post # 7
Member
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’d give it a bit more time.  Although most people gave gifts before or shortly after our wedding, some kept trickling in a few months later.  I’d give it a bit more time before assuming they did not purchase anything.

Post # 8
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

We weren’t given gifts or cards by 2 people at our wedding and I didn’t send them thankyous. But these people were cousins of mine. Possibly if they were older and/or friends of my parents (like yours) I would still send a “thanks for coming”. If down the track they do give a gift (1 of my people has said she has one to give us) then you can always send another thankyou for that.

Post # 10
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee

I would say that some people find it acceptable to send gifts late, I have ever heard up to a full year after the wedding. Perhaps send them a “thank you for attending” if you feel like you want to know, or maybe wait a little while longer. 

Post # 11
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2010

This happened to me, 3 people didn’t give us anything (card etc)

1. A friend of my step-mother. I’d only invited her so my step mother would have a friend. We had to chase her friend for an RSVP and then she monopolised me for a good hour during my reception! No card, no gift charming!

2 & 3 Two good friends. I’ve been to their weddings and given gifts! One has a baby and I gave her gifts at the baby shower, her son’s birth and his first birthday! I’d didn’t even receive a card from either!

I sent all of these people thank you cards and thanked them for sharing our day with us. Friend with baby exclaimed she hadn’t given me my gift yet but had bought one for me… that was 3 months ago and i see her weekly.

I was more annoyed at the friend of my stepmother for not giving a card (a gift i could just about overlook!) I just can’t imagine going to someone’s wedding empty-handed!

Post # 12
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We had a similar situation where we recieved a gift with no name.  We have no idea who to thank and can narrow it down to a few couples who came but didn’t give gifts.  We plan on sending them all a thank you note that just says “thanks for coming”.  Maybe whoever the gift is from will bring it up – so far nobody has mentioned anything even though I’ve told my parents and posted on facebook.  It must be a random relative!

I say just send a nice note!

Post # 13
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My wedding was June 19th and I have no idea who gave us what yet! I still have to open stuff and at this point! They might just send the gifts late or something. I wouldn’t worry about it. If they didn’t get youa gift at all, just send a nice note thanking them for coming.

Post # 14
Member
1820 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I know this really varies by region, but Emily Post says that you have a FULL YEAR AFTER A WEDDING to provide a gift.  It is really common among my circle of friends to give gifts after the wedding, especially for people that live out of town and ship the gifts directly.  It is really uncommon to bring gifts to a wedding, but – again – I know that this really varies by area and culture, I am just speaking from my experience.

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