Post # 1
I recently was married first wedding for both of us. We invited his family to the wedding and reception, including their children. My siblings and parents gave us wedding gifts, 3 of 4 of his siblings did not. I was put off by the fact that his family would over look this, not even a card for our wedding. We had a very nice wedding ceremony with a cocktail hour, dancing, wine, and nice dinner afterward. We spent quite a bit on each member of his family. I always give a gift when I go to a wedding. I thought this was good etiquette. What do other bees think about this?
Post # 3
@bridestobee: How does your husband feel about it?
I agree it is bad etiquette to not bring a gift. But it is also bad etiquette for you to bring it up. And especially since it is his family not yours. So if he’s not bothered – perhaps his family doesn’t really do gifts – then don’t you worry either. If he IS bothered, then it is up to him to raise it with them if he wants to, because they are his siblings and he knows them best. You stay out of it.
Post # 4
It is good etiquette, but you can’t expect it from everyone – including family. My parents didn’t get us anything or give us a card either (and they’re divorced, so both sides of my parents didn’t.) I would just try to let it go. Honestly, they most likely have no idea how it makes you feel, and probably haven’t given it a second thought. I would just try to move past it and don’t bring it up. These things happen.
Post # 5
who cares? they were there to celebrate with you, that’s what matters. you chose to have a reception and spend on them. it was your wedding, so, really, you spent on you.
Post # 6
How old and in what place in their lives are the sibilings? Did they just lump themselves in with Mom and Dad. I have 3 brothers. For one I got a pizza stone, for the other I just sent a card becuse he had changed the date of his wedding and I was moving that weekend and couldn’t attend as it was 1000 miles away.
My FI and I are doing a small wedding, his oldest sister and her husband live with his parents and his youngest sister is in college. My middle brother just baught a house and his wife is unemployed, my youngest brother just got a semi-full time job but makes very little. My oldest brother wil have to travel to see the wedding, and hopefully for him, he will be bringing along a little one (no word yet, but they’re trying). So we expect nothing…maybe not eve a card…from them all….they may “lump” in with whatever gifts our parents give, and that’s perfectly ok.
Post # 7
Yeah, it is good etiquette but sometimes people are just clueless or don’t have the money and feel stupid just giving card with no actual gift. When I met my FI we went to a wedding of his friend and he didn’t think of getting a gift. So here we are at the reception and I realize he didn’t get a card. So we had to run out to the near walgreens and get a card and put in some cash because my FI just does not think about things like that.
I don’t understand all this worry about getting gifts. We don’t expect to get much of anything from anyone, except maybe my dad and his mom. His dad will get us something stupid (better he just didnt give us anything)
I didn’t even have a registry until a week ago because someone from FI’s work was bugging us about it. I don’t care about the gifts, all I care about is having a great time with the people that matter.
Post # 8
I felt like since we accomadated his local brothers new step daughter at reception we would at least get a gift from him and his new wife but, nope. I come from a family that gives gifts and we got gifts from many of my friends that could not make it to the wedding. Sooo, his family that did make it I would have thought would have had better etiquette. My siblings both got us gifts. But only 1 of his 5 did.
Post # 9
At the end of the day, a wedding is not about gifts. You were able to celebrate a beautiful day with your families and become husband and wife.
Be upset, take some time to be miffed over it, but ultimately this is one of those things that you need to let go.