Post # 1
So, we just recently got married. Our wedding was beautiful and in a more remote mountain location in Colorado. So I know not everyone needs to get you gifts for the wedding, but I was pretty insulted when my brother-in-law and his gf of 11 years didnt get us a single thing.
Background…..so it being a more remote location there is always a concern for drinking and driving but thats like any other wedding. A few months before the wedding, my brother-in-law approached us and said he would like us to pay for shuttles for them for after the wedding back to the hotel. Note this was not shuttles for everyone but for him, his gf, their younger brother and his gf, maybe some other friends… We let him know that they are adults and they should not be drinking and driving but it is their responsibility to get themselevs home safely and were not paying for them to be wasted. He said no problem he’ll take care of a shuttle on his own. Which is fine. Im sure you all know as things get close, things get pretty tight for the budget.
AFter the wedding….As you can guess, no gift from the brother and his gf. The younger brother and his gf, college students, got us a gift. So, we find out from everyone after the wedding that the older brother spent a lot of time at the wedding trying to convince people to pitch in for this shuttle, he is getting. Turns out it was a 15 person van. ten people ended up riding it, my inlaws, both brothers and their gf’s and two other couples. The bill including tip was $130. My inlaws paid $80, the other 2 couples were asked to pitch $10 per person, and that left his no good brother to pair only $10! THAT’S RIGHT, ONLY $10!!!
When we asked why no gift, you know we paid for his groomsman gift, meals, and everything for our wedding. His excuse was he had to help pay for the shuttle! 10 bucks! thats such bs!!! omg and apparently also no gift because we got married and that offended his gf of 11 years. Which I’d also lie to mention that his gf was that greeter for our wedding because she insisted on having a part in it.
Also let me note, he almost 30 and not having any finanial problems so thats cant be an excuse!
So, seriously, is it wrong of me to be pissed that there was no gift after everything we did for them and it was our wedding?
Post # 4
Wow, you definitely have the right to be at least a little hurt! But, I will say, for my fiance’s brother’s wedding which was last October, we ended up being kind of lame in the gift department. We were in the process of moving (literally loaded up a 22ft truck & moved across the country the day after their wedding), leaving our jobs behind too so we were strapped for cash and our bridal party attire had already set us back. We had looked for a gift for a while but not settled on anything, and then were scrambling the night before or morning of the wedding. We still gave them a small gift at the wedding (a book we thought they’d like) and wrote in the card that my fiance wanted to do a painting for them for when they moved into their new place (which they still haven’t done yet). He is an awesome artist but couldn’t get it done before their wedding because all his art stuff was packed for the move. He has been quietly working on their painting the last few months and we’re planning to present it to them with another wedding card whenever it’s done, but I’m SURE they’re no longer expecting to get anything from us because it’s been SO long, so it will be a total surprise! Traditional wedding ettiquette actually says you have up until a year after the wedding to send a gift, so I’m holding onto that for comfort, but really who waits that long to send a gift, it’s ridiculous! I’m sure when they got their present from us they were like, “Really? A book?” but oh well, I’m sure when we finally *do* get their gift to them it will be a surprise & any hurt feelings will be smoothed over. I think when you send out the rest of your thank you cards you should just send them one that says thanks for attending (or for being a part of your bridal party if that’s the case) and that it meant so much to the two of you to have them there, etc. Then you look good & they will probably feel bad about being so lame and not doing more for his only brother. 🙂
Post # 5
We did not get a gift or a card from the maid of honor (my sister), any of my bridesmaids or my now sister in law (another bridesmaid). AND…
When my sister got married I gave her $500.
When my now sister in law got married we gave her $150.
My husband and I were each in their weddings. Guess thats just how it goes.
I get being annoyed by that. I am surprised you confronted your brother in law about that… What a lame excuse.
Post # 6
I would be upset. I did not get gifts for either of my sister’s weddings, oh wait mini salt and peppar shakers for one sis, as being Maid/Matron of Honor I threw 4 parties for each sister. And throwing a party is way more money than a knife set!
Kill them with kindness. When it is their turn go out of your way to make sure they know and see that you are being helpful and giving them a gift. No need to be bitter Betty since they already are!
Post # 7
You really shouldn’t ask some one why they didn’t get you a gift.
My sister did not get us a gift. Nor did my husband’s best friend, whose child is our godson and we reglarly buy presents. Yes, I was a little surprised. But they are all the sort of people who do things like that and aren’t particularly reliable. Making a big deal about it won’t change the way they are.
Post # 8
That is SO tacky. I would be hurt if we didn’t receive anything. When FI’s brother got married we were still in school, but we still got them a $300 gift (after we’d spent money on plane tickets as well).
Post # 9
That is tacky.. So if him and his gf of 11 years ever get married you know what to do 😉