(Closed) No Gift or Card Given At Wedding

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would not send them a thank you…unless its a thank you for being so thoughtless!!  I totally agree with the way you feel, FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves as well and I would be so mad if people did that to us!!

Post # 4
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

No thank you needed.  The reception was thanks enough.

Post # 5
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

PS were they family, friends, young, old?

Post # 6
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

don’t get too insulted yet. there may be a gift or a card coming, sometimes people send these things AFTER the wedding 🙂

Post # 7
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I haven’t sent my gift yet for my friend’s wedding last week – I traveled cross country for it, so I didn’t want to bring it along, and I’ve been busy since I got back.  I sure hope she’s not stewing in her apartment right now, though really, all of the manners books and sites say if you give a gift, you have up to a year. Why do you feel so upset about it?  You invited them for their presence, not their presents, right?

Post # 8
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We had that happen as well. Lots of people send gifts after the wedding. We received gifts as recently as last week (over two months after the wedding). So I wouldn’t get upset quite yet. Ultimately there will be people who didn’t get you anything. Maybe they travelled, or couldn’t afford it, or just didn’t think about it. I know that is poor manners and you know it. Feeling a little hurt is natural. BUT, you’re only option is to find a way to accept it graciously. At least publicly, to your husband and here of WB you can admit to being angry. No one is going to judge that!

COngratulations on your brand new marriage. And on picking such an excellent wedding day (my birthday!) On behalf on your non-card giving guest, I’ll wish you a lifetime of love and happiness together!

Post # 9
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

well there is teh one year rule, was your wedding unconventional? maybe they thought the same etiquette didnt apply

Post # 10
Member
48 posts
Newbee

I wouldn’t worry too much yet. In our group of friends and family, it’s pretty common to send a gift up to a month or two after the wedding. And hardly anyone brings cards to the wedding. So maybe you will still be getting something. But don’t send a thank you note until you do!

Post # 11
Member
1045 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2008

Yes, I would send them a thank you card letting them know how wonderful it was to have them there to celebrate and support your marriage.  That’s the important part, right?  🙂

From reading around Weddingbee, it’s clear that many gifts and cards come in after the wedding– you may still get gifts from these guests.  I just sent my friend who got married on Aug 22nd a gift yesterday, because I forgot to leave the envelope with cash in her card box on the wedding day.

Post # 12
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

They still have a year to give something.They might have had to wait till they got paid. A lot of people are living paycheck to paycheck in these hard times.

Give them the benefit of the doubt: maybe the forgot the gift after they started travelling or it’s in the mail…

But, no thank you note is needed…at the moment for those who didn’t give you a gift.

Post # 14
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Hotel Vitale

I’ve said this before- but we still haven’t gotten gifts from a 1/3 of our guests. Give them some time, you just got married last weekend.

Post # 15
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

they may be sending large gifts, I understand its hard to lug huge gifts at the wedding

Post # 16
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I think you need to just relax and enjoy being married – would having an extra serving spoon make you happier newlyweds?  Enjoy the summer before it’s over..

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