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Hmm, can you ask your friend to play intermediary? If the parents thought they worked out the shipping situation then I'm sure they'd want to know that you hadn't received it. Maybe emphasize to your friend that you don't expect her parents to send a gift, but they mentioned it and you want to make sure they're aware it hasn't shown up yet.
I'd send a "thank you so much for joining us, it was so wonderful to celebrate with you" and then let your friend know that the gift they mentioned was in the mail is still missing.
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One of my friend's parents told us at our wedding reception that they had attempted to ship our wedding present, but that it had been sent to the wrong person (I have a pretty common name, so I'm not the only "me" in the state). They mentioned that they were trying to track the item with FedEx. However, a month later, we haven't received anything from them or noticed anything from the registry that has been purchsed that we haven't received yet.
Now we're writing thank you notes, so I'm not exactly sure how to write their note. Do I just say "Thank you for coming to the wedding?" or try to indicate something about the gift they said they were sending? I'm not saying they have to send something, but they did mention a gift at the wedding. I don't want them to feel bad if they don't plan to send anything, but I also want to recognize that they came to the wedding/let them know that we never received a gift.
Ideas/thoughts on wording?