Post # 1
I was invited to an engagement party for my husband’s cousin. The invitation (e-vite) said "No gifts" but then included a link to registry information. The couple listed 11 (count them again, 11!) different registries and had a little description about why each one was important to them. Again on their website they made a statement about gifts not being necessary. I don’t understand the double-speak… you either want gifts or you don’t. My husband said everyone was going to bring gifts anyway so we have to bring a gift. I find this so annoying… I don’t mind buying a gift from a registry but spare me the bad-attempt-at-being-selfless attitude. For a couple that doesn’t want gifts, do you think it’s a little tacky to include this much registry information?
Post # 3
LOL! That does sound unorthodoxed! Maybe they ment no gifts at the engagement party? But the registries are for their wedding?
I know I don’t expect gifts at an engagement party. And I was actually surprised when people did give me something. It’s really not necessary!
Post # 4
Wow! 11! I laughed out loud at that. I thought any more than two or three was overboard, not to mention her "insistence" on the no gift policy. If you were debating on if you should bring a gift or not, I say not!
Edit: Oh, geez, didn’t even realize that it was for an engagement party. Double tacky! Everyone knows gifts aren’t required at an engagement party.
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception
How do people have time for that? I barely had time to register for 2 registries. :oP
Post # 6
That’s very odd and confusing! And like you said, annoying. Goodness 11 registries!! I feel that 3 is pushing it but okay. I don’t know how that makes any sense though? Maybe ask a close friend or family member of theirs who might be able to explain?
Post # 7
In all fairness, most of the "registries" were for shops or restaurants… they were asking for gift cards to these specific places. (A high-end restaurant in Harvard Square, for example).
Gifts aren’t necessary for engagement parties?? I didn’t know that… probably because I didn’t have an engagement party.
And we have to travel 3.5 hours to this engagement party!
Post # 8
The title of this post cracked me up! Even worse that it’s for an engagement party. How many registries do you think they’ll need for the wedding??
Post # 9
@MrsPomegrante- It depends on whether the bride is having a bridal shower or not.. or if they are having a couples shower. Usually if you have a bridal shower or couples shower (or are planning on it) then you don’t recieve gifts for the engagement party, and like she did write "no gifts" on the invitations. However, you don’t then list your registries! That’s probably where they messed up. Since they are already registered for the wedding they probably thought they’d list them anyway, not realizing this would be confusing to all the guests.
Post # 10
*If they are ONLY having an engagement party, then gifts are usually expected. *
Post # 11
Yes, but… whenever someone writes a post asking if they can say "no gifts, please," lots of people on these boards advise them to have a registry anyway. The reasoning is that people want to buy the couple gifts no matter what they say, and having a registry makes it easier on guests. I do agree that having 11 registries seems a bit over the top, but that might be what this couple was thinking.
And, Niki, I don’t think it’s a good idea to assume that "everyone knows" anything about wedding etiquette. It’s always changing and based so much on family and cultural traditions. My FMIL threw us a traditional Hindu engagement ceremony and party, and gifts were definitely the norm. In fact, a gift exchange was a part of the ceremony.
Post # 12
we had a no gift engagement party and meant it! and we got exactly one gift. If they say no gifts, don’t give one.
Post # 13
LMBO!! Wow, maybe they should have had two wedding pages (I have four, one for each event!!!)
My engagement party site just has the date of the engagement and the party location and time.
My shower site has the engagement date and the shower loc. and time
My "Official" site has information about EVERYTHING on it because these are the people that have been invited to EVERYTHING. So I list the registries on this site.
My "Announcement" site has the date of the wedding and registries on it. This is for the people who are invited, but can’t come to the wedding or any events (most of my extended family and his, as well as all my friends at work who will be underway).
Sounds like they just had too much info TMI! in one place…
Post # 14
It can be tricky. FI & I would prefer guests who want to give us something donate to a charity we support. We’ve lived together for almost 3 years and don’t need anything. Well this past weekends FMIL asked us if we’re registering b/c her family doesn’t want to donate to "some stupid charity" (her EXACT words!) but want to give us money. I said well then we’ll just donate it to a charity and she said that would piss them off! For the invitations we’ll include a very small registry and say something like "your attendance is the greatest gift you can give us, but if you would prefer to bring/give a gift please consider donating to charity x, y or z. We have also registered at B3".
11 registries is a bit of overkill but who knows if they were forced to register.
Post # 15
ELEVEN!! Yikes!! Maybe I’m just persnickety, but just for the fact that they registered for that many registries, makes me want to go get them something without even looking at the registry. Like a toaster. *muahahaha!*
Post # 16
Our engagement party said no gifts, and the invitation did not include any registry information. Only a few of our guests brought gifts (which was fine, but not necessary) and we didn’t have any strong feelings about the issue except that we did not want to make people purchase gifts for an engagement party, bridal shower and wedding.
My only question is – did your relatives link their evite to their wedding webpage that included a registry they may have set up for the wedding, or did their evite link directly to their registries?