Post # 1
I’ve reached the point of my thank you note writing where it’s time to thank those who attended our wedding, but did not give a gift or card.
I have 17 people to thank.
A few wrote in our guest book, danced, particpated in our “caption our photos” games, but others (mainly DH’s family) did not participate in anything. They snubbed us, didn’t dance, only got up for food and booze. They left early saying our party was “lame” (DH’s family).
How do I thank those who did not really partake in the day, especially those who are in-laws! What do I write other than the generic, “Thanks for coming and be a part of our day!”
Post # 3
I would just say someything like ‘Thank you for sharing our special day with us’.
I think that’s fine.
Post # 4
I would consider thanking them for (choose as appropriate):
–taking the time out to be there
–traveling to be there
–being part of your lives
–their general support of your relationship
It can be short and sweet.
Post # 5
@BetterSherm: I think they were “generic” when it came to being lame-ass guests, so you are more than ok to thank them with a generic “thank you for coming” message.
P.S. They suck. I’m sure your party was awesome and they are stick in the muds. 😛 Do something fun for yourself after you write to them. A string of sucky thank yous you don’t want to write won’t be fun.
Post # 6
There’s no reason to send thank you’s to people who didn’t give a gift, so save yourself the grief. While it may be a nice thing to do, it really isn’t necessary. Some may take it as a subtle hint that they didn’t get you a gift, and then feel obligated to send you one.
I personally wouldn’t bother.
Post # 7
I also was under the impression that it wasn’t necessary to thank a wedding guest who hadn’t given a gift.
Post # 8
@BetterSherm: You don’t send a thank you. Your wedding was the thank you. As Miss Manners puts it – a host does not thank their guests for attending. That would be like having a dinner party and then writing thank you notes for attending.
Post # 9
I actually would not send thank you notes to people who did not give a gift. I was brought up with the idea that you only need to send a thank you note for those who bring a gift (for any occasion of course). I don’t have any wording suggestions because I think maybe you should rethink sending them.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t send anything to them actually.
Post # 11
Another vote for not sending a thank you.
- It’s correct etiquette not to do so.
- The reception is the “thank you” for attending the ceremony.
- What oracle said.
Post # 12
@BetterSherm: You should not thank them for attending. It is not polite, and can be seen as fishing for gifts.
You’ve already thanked them at least twice. Once via your hospitality, and the second time when visiting and speaking with each guest.
To continue to thank them for coming (when they should be thanking you for your hospitality), can be easily interpreted as not so subtly asking for your gift.
Post # 13
The reception is the thank you for attending the ceremony. Some people actually think it’s “against etiquette” to send thank you notes to people who didn’t give gifts because it can come across as fishing for gifts with those people. (Not saying you’re doing that!) I wouldn’t send a thank you.
Post # 14
+1 to all of those who say the reception is the thank you for attending and not bringing a gift.
Post # 15
Pfft. Send no thank you notes. Save yourself some money!
While getting a gift isnt the main goal, their attitude alone was uncalled for.
Post # 16
@BetterSherm: I’m with the others with not sending a note, I always thought the reception was the thank you for coming so they’ve been thanked!