(Closed) NO gifts yet from his family!! Wedding was 5 months ago!

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

um. gifts aren’t supposed to be something you expect to get for getting married.

Sure, they’re nice, but not required.

However, to not even congratulate you is kinda rude, imo. I wouldn’t let them ruin my anniversary party though, that’s just – well, that’s “letting them win” for lack of a better term.

Post # 4
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

Hold on, I don’t get it.  You didn’t have a reception and you are still expecting gifts?  I don’t know if it is the norm in your social circle but I don’t give gifts where there is no wedding.  I am also confused about who didn’t give you a gift.  Are you saying the entirety of his family including those who were not invited (If so, please so above).  If you are just referring to those who were on the cruise, did you pay for them to go?  If not, I don’t think you have much of a leg to stand on here.  Their gift to you was coming.  Your decision to give a gift to a wedding that you had to travel to was just that, your decision.

Please clarify if I am getting anything wrong.

Post # 5
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

If they didn’t attend the wedding, this is the reason you prob havn’t recieved any gifts.

A chunk of my husbands side of the family as well as mine did not attend, and we did not recieve gifts from them.

I think many people feel that if you don’t attend the wedding, then you don’t get a gift; I really think this is a very popular thought.

Post # 6
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

they might be upset/resentful that the family wasn’t invited (or that more than 6 people in the family weren’t invited). other than not giving a gift, which might be frustrating but definitely is not disrespectful, have they actually disrespected you? it sounds like they just wanted to be there but weren’t invited because you chose a cruise with an 8-person package. if that’s the case, i think they’re rightfully upset, but you all need to get over it and move on.

Post # 7
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

the cousin’s wedding that we went to in NC, we didn’t even receive a gift from THEM and we went to that cousin’s father’s funeral (the Uncle

was this cousin on the cruise because if not why do you feel they are required to give a gift?

anyways…,. as you are having a large reception later on then maybe people will be giving gifts at that occasion instead

 

Post # 8
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

If they see it as a reception, they’re probably waiting for that to give you something. 

Post # 10
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

Again, I ask.  Did they pay their way on the cruise.  If so, you really shouldn’t expect an additional gift.

Post # 11
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

This is just my experience, but I have found that:

  1. People only congratulated us once about getting married.  If they said something the first time they saw you, they probably aren’t going to bring it up again.
  2. People not present at the wedding did not get us any gifts/cards.
  3. People don’t follow the “1 year rule:” they either bring a card/gift to the wedding (or ship it beforehand) or they don’t get you anything.  My husband’s parents and also his brother (the best man) didn’t get us even a card even though they were at the wedding (and his parents didn’t contribute finanacially either, but that’s another story 🙂

Post # 14
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

Then I really don’t understand the problem.  I am not saying there is a blanket rule, but its pretty common in wedding knowledge that if you go to a destination wedding, nothing else is expected (largely because the bride and groom often save money by having a DW…which you did; and because they have already laid out a substantial sum to be at your day).

Disagreements, please voice them.  I would love to hear.

As for the rest of the fam, how about waiting on your actual reception (or 1 year party whatever) and see if you get gift.  I probably wouldn’t get you anything tho because a 1 year party after a DW seems a lil gift grabby to me.  You chose to have a DW and a year later you are expecting gifts at an anniversary party like it was your original wedding.  Again, just my opinion but I wouldn’t get you anything extravagant.

Post # 15
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Aliveinjuly: Mo way. If i paid my way for the cruise I would bring a card….but not a gift…my $1,500 plus presence is the gift i suppose.

 

Post # 16
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Aliveinjuly: Mo way. If i paid my way for the cruise I would bring a card….but not a gift…my $1,500 plus presence is the gift i suppose.

 

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