NO GRANDMA!!!YOU CANNOT BRING A GUEST!!!(5 DAYS BEFORE WEDDING)

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
2325 posts
Buzzing bee

CG4268:  Given that it is an itimate wedding AND you are paying for it, I don’t think you’re wrong at all. If it were 200+ people, and you gave out +1’s knowing there could be randoms, that would be a different story. Maybe you can ask one of FH’s family members to drive her.

Post # 3
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

You’re completely in the right.  Stick to your guns and enjoy your wedding!!!!

Post # 4
Member
4805 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

CG4268:  I’ll probably be in the minority, but I had 2 strangers at my 15 guests wedding! Husbands of friends I had never met. It was kinda weird, but made sense that they wanted dates. If FI’s grandma reeeeally needs a ride home or reeeeally needs a buddy, I wouldn’t be upset personally.

Post # 5
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee

Yeah, no. I’m also having around 20 ppl for my wedding and there is NO WAY a stranger would make it into my wedding. That being said, I would try to help her arrange carpooling with another family member.

 

Post # 6
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I totally get it and understand…but my question is: is this going to come up in future conversations after the wedding is done? Is FH grandma going to hold a grudge? If the answer is no then I wouldn’t bat an eye. I just would hate for you to get more grief.

Post # 7
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think you’re being reasonable.  It’s an intimate wedding… how weird would it be to have some random person there.  My mom has been seeing this guy for over 2 years now, and I’m not even sure if I want to invite him to my wedding because she hasn’t wanted me to meet him!  Who knows if she would even bring him… but I struggle with whether or not he’s invited.

Post # 8
Member
745 posts
Busy bee

Given the size of this wedding, you are absolutely in the right. As said above, if it was a 100+ person event, I’d say bite the bullet and just let her invite a guest..but at this size, this soon before the wedding, stick to your guns!

Post # 9
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’d suggest finding someone who can help her get home after the wedding, but that’s a no on the random friend coming. 

Post # 10
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Your granadmother wants a companion to drive with. Personally, I think it’s sad that you would deny your grandmother one guest.  It’s not like she presented a laundry list of people she wants to bring.  I could see saying to no Uncle Joe who you never see.  But grandma?  Damn – she’s the matriarch!  (That and I would do anything for my grandma!)

If you don’t want the guest, then tell Grandma you’ll pay for a car service so she won’t have to worry about drive alone.   

Either option beats Granny not showing up if you ask me.

Post # 11
Member
736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

CG4268:  if it were me I would probably try to accommodate – however, I would be seriously peeved at her for telling me 5 days before the wedding! I don’t blame you for being mad, and you’re undoubtedly stressed as it is. 

To be honest though, I would leave that one up to my FI. If he still has room in his 15 guests and he wants to include her friend, then I would leave it up to him. But then he would get to rearrange the seating 🙂 (and of course you have final say, haha).

Post # 12
Member
3541 posts
Sugar bee

I see it both ways, one that she waited so long to ask (after the headocunt had been finalized), but that she also doesn’t want to drive alone at night.  Let your FI make the final decision since it’s his grandma.

Post # 15
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Stick to your guns!!  Believe me my own grandmother also has some things to say about our own intimate wedding.  She will always be my grandmother, but this is our day not hers.

EDIT TO ADD: Oh and 5 days before the wedding is just plain rude (regardless of who it is, family or otherwise).

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  ryba.
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