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Well With this great economy and the wonderful world of construction slowing down. And the expense of paying for our own wedding. We have decided since you are debt free and would like to keep it that way that there is no room in the budget for a honeymoon :( I know it is killing him because he feels like he should be able to provide better and with work being so slow this just adds to the frustration because he really wanted to take me somewhere special.
At first I didn't mind I thought we will just hide out at home and not tell anyone where we are going..No biggy . But with only three weeks to the wedding I have been getting question after question as to where we are going..I don't feel like telling people..Hey we can't afford one! So I have been just saying that what we are doing is not set in stone yet. Every time someone asks it makes me feel very sad and disappointed that we can't go anywhere .. We are both virgins and this will be the first time that we are able to spend time alone without a chaperone.
I don't want to just be home! Tons of my family will be in town and I just want to get away from everyone and not be bothered!!! I have not told him this because I know it would make him feel even worse about the situation then he already does he is an amazing man and a very hard worker I feel like spoiled brat for feeling like this .......ughhhhh I HATE MONEY!!!
I'm sorry you are so upset. Honestly, my husband and I didn't go on a honeymoon until last week (basically a first anniversary trip). It's tough when you can't afford it but you don't want to go to debt over a vacation (even your honeymoon).
I am so sorry to hear that....we too are paying for the whole wedding ourselves and had no $$ left in our budget for a honeymoon however, I was lucky enough to have won a Hawaii Honeymoon trip at a bridal show I attended. It was the Grand prize of the day. But, we did plan on registering at Honeymoon.com in lieu of the standard wedding registries. I know it is too late for you to have done that with your wedding just weeks away.
But who knows, maybe you will get some cash $$ for your wedding and you could go away....even if it isn't for weeks to a lavish exotic place...but just a cozy lil get away which can still be just as lovely and romantic. Good Luck!
We didn't go on an honeymoon either because it didn't work for our schedule. Like MissAB we will likely take a nice vacation around our 1st anniversary. Just tell people you have decided to put it off for a while, that's all they need to know. Is there a nice destination town any where near you where you could just head out for a couple of nights and stay at a cheap B&B so you have some time to relax with just the two of you.. but not break the bank?
I had the same idea as Moose. Is there somewhere near your hometown where you get a hotel for a weekend, have nice dinners out, etc.?
I'm sorry you're feeling this way! I can somewhat relate as I just lost my job and if we hadn't already paid for our honeymoon we might not be going on one. You should book a night or two at a hotel or a B&B like another poster suggested. That way you're not spending a ton of money but you can still have your privacy. Then later on, when things are less tight, you guys can book a nice vacation!
with Future Mrs.I on this one, maybe after gathering your $$ from the wedding, you may be able to just hop in the car and rive down to Florida or to California to have a little mini Honeymoon that way to enjoy yourself. In fact, thats what you can tell everyone, "we're going to hop in the car and see where the road takes us..."
I'm so sorry - I can't imagine - I told my FI that the honeymoon is non-negotiable; I'd get married at the courthouse if we had to! I'm paying for my wedding too and I know how hard it is and even though the wedding memories will be amazing, that you just want some alone time with your hubby too.
I did a search and found this website that has some good ideas on how to honeymoon at home:
http://www.creativehoneymoonideas.info/cheap/honeymoon-at-home.htm
Just because you're at home doesn't mean you can't enjoy your first few days together. Stock the house with all the necessities and turn your phones and computers off. Forget the world and just enjoy being newlyweds and your alone time with each other. Break out the champagne!!! You're just married and that is cause for celebration!
*hugs* I know it's hard but I hope you like some of these ideas and then maybe you can take a fabulous vacation on your first anniversary 
I love MrsH1010's idea. Maybe some guests will give you cash gifts, and you could put it towards a minimoon-style honeymoon. Take a trip to a lakeside cabin or go on hotwire.com to book a hotel for a few nights. You could even go camping (note: I'm basing these ideas off of your MN location :)
Sounds like you and your husband would have a great time just being together. I'm trying to convince my husband to take a smaller scale honeymoon so that we actually go (see my "are we going on a honeymoon" post). I think you have the right idea with focusing on being away together. good luck!
We are doing a mini honeymoon after our wedding. We are going to Vegas for 4 days. Flights and hotel rooms are crazy cheap and alot of the hotels will throw in show tickets and stuff if you stay an extra night.
We are paying for most of the wedding ourselves but we opted to do a honeymoon registry to help pay for our trip to England on our 1st year anniversary.
As much as this situation sucks you are not in this boat alone. I would tell people too, there is no problem with that!
MY fiance and i cant afford it either, it says right on our wedding website that we will be going on our honeymoon for our one year anniversary, to Greece in July of 2011.
Who knows!!1 If people know you can afford it maybe they will pitch in a get a hotel room for two nights or something :)
We also have no plans to go on a real honeymoon. But we have decided to stay at a B&B for a few nights. I am sure you can work out some mini-honeymoon nearby whether it be at a B&B, rental or camping. It may not be what you have in mind, but as virgin newlyweds--you probably will not be leaving the bedroom much anyway ;) I say definitly do something (camping is only $20 a night max usually) and save the big honeymoon trip for your one year anniversary. A lot of people do this anyway.
Is there anyway you can do a mini-moon in your hometown? My hubby and I had to do that and ended up having a blast. We stayed 2 nights at a nice hotel downtown and then went out to a nice restaurant. I had re-decorated the bedroom in our apartment to surprise him so it felt "new" for the few days I could take off of work.
We're going on a honeymoon close to our 1 year anniversary. So, maybe you guys could save for that?
@ qui40067 Thanks for that link... It had some good Ideas , I really liked the one about our first date..I think I will suprise him with that one...it was always his favorite place to go and it is about an hour away from where we live..maybe we could get a room while we are down there??
@Baileyh Thanks for making me not feel like I am alone!
@cherryblossom80 I am sure you are right about not leaving the room ..lol...
As far as stayin gin our home town that problem I live in a very small town and I really don't feel like running into anyone I know and since my large (and loud Italian/German) family will all be staying in the same town and site seeing I am sure that we would run into someone.
ANy one have anymore ideas??
Its really important to have a honeymoon. It can be anything, but go somewhere. Most people regret not going & you'll have fun memories just the two of you in a new place.
My suggestion is that you plan to stay at your house for your wedding night. You can open up your gifts & cards & with your wedding money, go on a trip. You can go to priceline.com & bid on a hotel (go to a place neither of you has been before) & you can get a really good deal there, but you have to book it a day before you go. Let people know you're on your honeymoon too, when you go to check in. I got a decent hotel for our wedding night & they upgraded us to an amazing suite that was a free upgrade! You'd be suprised at what people do, but don't expect it cause they may not have anything open & some places don't do that. Even if its just for 1 night. Bring a camera & just have fun :).
If you really can't afford anything in cash, it will be worth it if you go into a little debt as long as you're able to pay it off! It sounds like you're already very sad just because people are talking about it & you don't think you get one. But really, talk this over with your FI. I know you don't want him to feel bad, however concealing this from him may lead to resentment later, or for him to feel worse that you didn't let him know. Maybe he thinks you're completely fine without having one... talk things over with him tonight & come up with minihoneymoon solutions. Even take a camping trip so you don't have to pay for a hotel.
We're at this moment not going on a honeymoon. We can't afford either :( I do look forward to our 1st or 2nd anniversary when we can!
We booked our honeymoon before we booked ANYTHING else. We got an incredible deal for a super nice hotel in NYC and airline tickets were awesome so thats what was most important to both of us. Like another bride said, I would have had a courthouse wedding before not doing something for a honeymoon. I definitely agree with everyone about getting away for even 2 nights, something that marks the beginning of your nuptials. You will feel so happy you did. Also, i wouldnt feel bad. Tell people, someone is likely to feel bad for you and give you an extra check. Do a money dance at the wedding and "collect" funds for your honeymoon. Have fun!
What part of MN do you live in? I bet we could find you a great spot to take some wedding gift money and have a mini-moon with your FI a short drive away! (I live in MN, too. But I'm not from here so I can see it with fresh eyes ;)
Have you thought about a honeymoon registry? There is still time to set one up . . .
We are months away from our wedding and we already have $500 from our registry.
I know how you feel as we may be facing this possibility too. It does stink, and sometimes being told you are making a responsible choice doesn't give the best solace. However, you are getting married to your love, you are going to be debt free (which is more than 99% of us can say) and your future is brighter for it. Just make sure you guys start a honeymoon savings right away - no excuse not to if you don't have debt! And then GO ASAP!
Hope you feel better!
You will be getting money for the wedding. How much is your budget or how much do you think you can squeeze once you get wedding gifts? I also think a honeymoon is important but it doesn't have to be anything fancy. We booked our honeymoon the night before our wedding, not ideal but you still have time to figure it out.
I'd go camping :) That's what my parents did for their honeymoon and they still talk about it like it was the most romantic trip of their lives. Probably cost them $100 in fuel and food - they got some equipment as wedding gifts because they told people that's what they were planning to do.
Also I think nothing of going into debt for a holiday, because I'm much better at paying it off than saving it up, so I'd be pulling out the credit card (within reason of course in terms of what I could pay back in reasonable time). This is why I'll be spending the rest of this year paying off my credit card, after we just spent 3 weeks overseas on fairly short notice, but to me it is 1000% worth it for the experience and memories. I know not everyone feels this way though!
Edit to say: as a few people have pointed out you're likely to be given cash as wedding gifts so hopefully this would pay off any credit card debt if you decided to go that route :)
I think the camping idea is great! It'll be just the two of you, hikes during the day, maybe hang out by a lake, etc. And then save up and go on a 1st anniversary trip!
Oh I think you should consider going to the boundary waters, there are some lovely cabins up there and my friend works there and she says ALOT of honeymooners go there. I'm sure you could get some great rates as well as some pretty area...plus the cabins are desolate=romantic
I agree with others. take a minimoon somewhere close (but far enough away from the visiting family) You can do this on the cheap if you go camping or rent a cabin. cook your own meals together and enjoy each other without being bothered ;)
Yea maybe you will get some money for the wedding and you can get away for a little while, and camping sounds great!!
It doesn't have to be expensive. We were going to go camping, because we love camping. Even take a couple of days and stay somewhere, so you have some honeymoon experience.
i didnt read all the other answers but have you considered planning day trips? i know where we live there are multiple places we can go within just a few hours or less from home. you can pack picnics and take off and go there. the benefit (besides money of course) is that being closer to home is you can re-visit those locations frequently. pick 3 or 4 day trips to places that you have never been to before or used to go as a kid or something and spend the day there. you can even go every other day for a week so you can take a day in between to uhm uhem "sleep in" if you know what i mean.
as for answering calls, check your phone to see if there is an option to send certain callers directly to voicemail. anyone who may bother you is sent to vm. you can check the vm right away and if important, call back, if not wait until the staycation is over.
also some lower priced hotels have a "stay 2 nights get a 3rd free" specials. even if it isnt the best room ever, bring some candles and wedding flowers, romantic music, romantic movies whatever it takes to make it feel more like a honeymoon suite.
hth and gl
It always makes me sad to hear about someone missing out on their honeymoon!
If you haven't done so already consider setting up a honeymoon registry. Most registries don't see a lot of action until right before the wedding, so it's not too late!
If you can, consider a one year anniversary trip. We've often had success with having the resorts allow us to extend the honeymoon package to couples who couldn't take the honeymoon right after the wedding. Some agencies are able to set up payment plans for their clients, so you could make small monthly payments and be all ready to go next June.
Good luck!
The FI booked our honeymoon 3 months out from our wedding, so after the wedding we are taking a mini moon to go camping! We love camping though, so it should be awesome!
I didn't read all the responses but I'm in that boat with you. My wedding is in 5 weeks and we have not booked a thing. Money, I tell ya, so much to go no where really.. i want to go away but I'm with you about not having a CC debt when I get back.. I'm going to read the link someone sent. maybe i can make myself also happy. Find a low cost hotel and stay there a few days.. I don't want a hotel really. What's the big deal with that.. :( I want to see something..
My parents didn't take one... my dad had just started a new job, money was tight, and they stayed at home. Then we kids came along... and my parents often talked about how they never took one. Fast forward to today and my parents are traveling fools. Because of my dad's job, he had always traveled around the world, but now my mom goes too. They taken "honeymoons" to the Spanish Coast a few times, Christmas in Qatar, holiday's to Malta, Singapore, and countless other places.
They don't regret their life. There were times it made them sad, but looking at life now, they wouldn't change a thing.
I do want to agree with camping though! Everyone I know who went camping enjoyed it so much! Sometimes state parks even have really cheap cabins you could rent.... It's summer in MN, there's tons to do outdoors on the cheap!
We didn't get a real honeymoon at first either. We stayed at a top notch hotel for our wedding night. Then a few years later, we scheduled a trip for ourselves for 2 weeks, but after one week we came home and picked up our 2 "babies" a one year old, and a 2 1/2 year old and had a week off with them. Now we celebrate every anniversary with a week-long trip. :)
We aren't having one right after the wedding. Family and friends will still be in town and I start back to school the week after so it's not really in the cards. For our one year we are planning a real honeymoon. I don't think it's bad if you wait for awhile to take one.
Daisylynn, after a year I think they call them vacations:) it's like a wedding, one time only to call it a honeymoon. After that, it's time off.
I understand your dissapointment. Weddings can bring in a lot of money from gifts, so why don't you guys talk about some of the places you would like to go, pick one, and use the money towards it. If you don't quite have enough, make it a goal. It will feel much more satisfying to go away if it is a goal you have worked towards!
@tytbody, either way, that's what we want to call it:)
I think a grand trip right away is over rated. The point is to spend some private time just the two of you to celebrate your marriage. My sweetie and I are going to have a minimoon, 3 days at a bed and breakfast about an hour away from where we'll live. This makes sense with work and money. It's actually a beautiful spot on it's own, and we've come to really look forward to it. We've decided to make our dream trip to Greece a 10 year anniversery celebration. We actually have a link on our wedding website to the B & B slyly noting that, interestingly, gift certificates can be purchased toward a stay there...we'll see if anyone clues in! =-)
My hubby-to-be and have a cute little cottage rented on a lake in Brainerd, Minnesota, just a few hour drive from his home town, and we'll be hiding out there for the week of our honeymoon, cooking our own meals to save money, and just enjoying the privacy, because like you, we're both virgins who haven't been alone much either!
Is there any way you can drive to minneapolis and spend a week at a hotel? you could explore the city or you could literally just stay in the hotel the entire week
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