- 8 years ago
- Wedding: January 2000
About a week ago, we asked a close friend to officiate our wedding. We are close with him but I am very, very close with her – she’s my best friend. Without going too in depth, we knew their marriage hadn’t been perfect – however, we thought that things had been cleared up.
His reaction when we asked him – a man we believed to be an ‘aspiring’ pastor – was less than stellar. He made some snide comments about marriage in general, a couple of why me? comments, and overall did the exact opposite of what we had expected. I got an email the next day from him, saying that while he was flattered he felt like a bit of a hypocrite since his marriage had ‘failures.’ He asked if we were still interested in having him officiate.
I was shocked – and come to find out, so was my best friend. After discussing this with her privately, I found out that there are issues we were not aware of in their own marriage that made him not sure about being an officiant. She didn’t know how much it was affecting them until she saw his reaction to this situation – In fact she knew in advance for two months that this was the plan, to ask him.
After speaking to her and discussing this, we have decided to chose another person.
I’m disappointed. We no longer have someone we love marrying us – but more than anything, I’m beyond upset on behalf of my best friend who is going through such a rough spot in her nearly 10 year marriage. I don’t know that I am even looking for advice… I just can’t deal with things. I’m posting under a ‘faux’ name but I’m usually an active member around here.
We are going to find someone else, but have any of you been through this – a couple who are close friends who hit a rocky patch, or even divorce?