(Closed) No, I would not like used items for the shower, thank you

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I recieved this huge, hideous dish set from DH’s great aunt for one of our showers. The box was warped and looked like it had been in someone’s wet basement for 20 years. We donated it to Goodwill, which was a lot of trouble because it was REALLY heavy. I would have much preferred it if she just got us a card with a nice message in it.

I don’t understand why some guests don’t just choose something off the registry, but in the end, you can’t choose what people decide to give you as a gift.

Post # 4
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

“Is there anything you want that you don’t have listed??”

Geez…I hate that question.  I really hated it before the wedding.  I’m not a registry freak (I don’t think that registries are must have lists that people must follow), but I found this really frustrating.  It’s such an awkward question.  I don’t know your money situation, how much you’d like to give.  I’d like a house and maybe a pony?  A new car would be nice.  Sheesh.

Is she saying “Hey!  I see that you’ve registered for a stand mixer.  I have a stand mixer in my basement.  Would you like that instead?” ?  That is super awkward. Maybe mumble something about warrenties?  What does your FI say?  I’d let him deal with it. lol  Perhaps handle each thing specifically.  “That is the wrong size for our dining table”, “That is the wrong colour.  We have already received half of that set”…that kind of thing.  

I get being frugal, but I would find this….kind of insulting on some level.

Post # 5
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

So, I’ve totally done this to my sister. But for Xmas. She had a rice cooker on her wish list and I had a perfectly good one that I used once at my house so I offered to give it to her but ofcourse didn’t mean instead of also a gift. Come to think of it ive done it to my mom too… She mentioned that she wanted the model of something that i had received an upgrade of for our wedding so i gave her my gently used one  Maybe that’s what your mil means as well?  

Post # 6
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That’s funny…my FMIL told me the other day she already has my shower and wedding gift (I haven’t even yet assumed I’m having a shower, so, I hope she isn’t let down).

I was excited that she was thinking about me to do that, but my fiance mentioned later that if his mom has a present for me and us, it’s probably something used that his dad found at a flea market or auction that neither of us will want and we’ll have to store it in the garage for 20 years.  He’s probably right — his dad is always trying to pawn junk off on us, but I’ve never been a fan of old stuff. With that said, I’m still looking forward to what she found and thought I would like — just for entertainment purposes!

Post # 7
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

That sounds like something my FMIL will do. The year before last for xmas, she gave me an old pair of khaki colored jeans that were way too small for me (I had just given birth to twins) and an old red turtle neck sweater. I never wear red and haven’t worn a turtle neck since my mom used to dress me. To make it worse, she kept insisting I try on the pants when they were clearly at least 3 sizes too small. It was so annoying. I took the sweater just to be nice, but I gave her back the jeans.

Post # 8
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yes, there is a gift I’d love but I’m not registered for: MONEY. You can give that to me used. In fact, get it straight from the bank so I know a TON of people handled it before me.

Post # 9
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@SapphireSun:  That’s a good point and if that’s what her FMIL is doing, cool.  I have no problem with hand-me-downs, or vintage items, to be honest.  I would find it weird if she registered for, say a food processor, and her FMIL wanted to give her one that was used and 20 years old…at least she’s being upfront about it, I guess.

Post # 10
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@rebwana: Ha – My MIL is the same – except she wouldn’t bother to ask me and I just get what I get.  It’s always junk from flea markets, she’s a bit of a hoarder.  For my shower I got 2 humongous gaudy gold hair clips and some Arbonne samples 🙂  Her best friend (and flea market companion) got me an equally useless giagantic crystal basket (looks like an easter basket, but its crystal).  Oh well, I just thank her, then toss the stuff in the goodwill pile with every other gift she’s given me! 

Post # 11
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Meh. One of my best friends is giving me her grandparents’ vintage typewriters.  It’s green, I love typewriters, she’s going to tune it up, put a new ribbon in, and I’m pleased as punch about it.  She’s just out of nursing school and settling down (aka: broke!), and having her just attend my wedding will be fun.

Post # 12
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I had an aunt give us a used food processor instead of the one I registered for. I was very conflicted because I registered for the one I registered for for a reason and it had already been purchased — I didn’t want to take it back. I would have kept it had we not received the one I wanted. But it was still wierd. Glad I’m not the only one 🙂

Post # 14
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

About 40 years ago someone gave my aunt and uncle this hideous white bowl.  They decided to pass it on to my mom when she got married a few years later.  Then her younger sister a decade later, then my cousin, then sister . . . and in a few short weeks I will be the keeper of the bowl.

Moral of the story . . . .if she gives you something crappy, maybe you could turn it into a “family heirloom/inside joke”?

Post # 15
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This reminds me of the birthday card I just got from FI’s family. It was a month late, and had a gift card to PetSmart for $20.95. Yay?

Post # 16
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@rebwana:  Yeah…I hear what you’re saying.  Buying something that’s vintage (like the typewriter) that you know someone would love is cool.  Going into your closet and pulling out some old cookie sheets and giving them to a bride because she has cookie sheets on a registry is…special?  

Go with the gift cards.  🙂

 @hosannac:  Woah.  That is awkward!  What did you do with the old processor?  Please tell me that your aunt didn’t give this to you in front of the person who gave you the new processor?!  That would have been uber awkward.

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