Post # 1
We have been engaged just short of two weeks after dating for over two and a half years. We met our freshman year of college and will graduate in May 2013.
I told my great aunt about our engagement last night, and she said to me, “Well, you are going to finish school, aren’t you?!”
No, Aunt Lillian. I am going to throw away the three years of education and private school tuition because I got engaged the summer before my senior year.
Seriously?! Of course we are going to finish school! Does she think I was going to plan a wedding in a month so we could get married right away?
I think it comes down to this: I feel like I’m being treated like I’m stupid for wanting to get married when we are 23. People think we would not finish our degrees and set ourselves and our children up for a life of poverty? Seriously?
Okay, I’m done. But seriously?
Post # 3
Ha I am exactly like you, graduating in 2014. We are planning on a long engagement though, so we might be engaged by this fall. I know people are probably going to freak out…!
Post # 4
I’m pretty sure this is just because she’s your great-aunt and so she’s old. No one who’s not old thinks you’re going to drop out of school because you got engaged. I wouldn’t worry about it. 🙂
Post # 5
People are annoying. That being said, just let it roll off your back. SHe’s probably stuck in a different time period. My mom got engaged in college and dropped out to get married and follow my dad to professional school. I think it was definitely more common back then, so she’s probably just stuck in the stone age! 😉 Be prepared for people’s comments though – I’m sure you will get tons since you are so young! Good for you for keeping on track though! Congrats on your engagement and happy planning!
Post # 6
As long as you’re doing well in school and not focusing only on the wedding, you will be fine! I have grad students who get married alllll the time. The ones that were doing well before they got engaged dont drop out. We do have those with a low GPA or problems doing research that use the wedding as an excuse to drop out.
So, focus on your degree and you’ll be fine!
Post # 7
I’m an MIT educated scientist and people at work asked me if I was quitting work after getting married.
I didn’t even know how to respond to that. Sure, let me throw away my top notch education that I basically sacrificed my soul for now that i’ve got me a man. *rolls eyes*
People are stupid sometimes.
Post # 8
In Aunt Lillian’s day, if a girl got engaged while she was still in school, it was understood that she would have no reason to finish school because she had already found a husband. It may sound silly these days, but that’s how it was.
Post # 9
@OneOfTheseDaysAlice: that is exactly what I came here to say.
I slogged four years in one of the best engineering schools in the country and people ask me if I’m going to quit working now that I’m married. **EYEROLL*
Post # 10
@crayfish: haha! that made me laugh out loud (at work, oops!)
@CBA717: I totally understand. I feel like I have 100 Aunt Lillians… I will be 21 when I get married and I will still have one semester left of school!! Heaven forbid!! It’s like people instantly forget that I have been a responsible, level-headed girl for my ENTIRE life…. At least “Aunt Lillian”s are truely just looking out for you…. Still annoying though…
Post # 11
I think it’s because she is your GREAT Aunt. My BFF’s mom dropped out of college one year before graduating to get married and BFF heard about it as a what not to do her whole life. I think it was not heard of in our parents’ generation to drop out to get married. I have another friend who was born her mom’s last year of college and it was completely shocking that her parents were married and had a child before graduating. Now, I work at a University and see this happening more often. Especially grad students seem to plan marriage and even babies into their last year of school.
Post # 12
Aboutfew out two months after I got engaged, I left my job for another company. On my last day, a man came to my desk to say goodbye and asked if I had something else lined up or if I was quitting because I was getting married. Lol right.
Post # 13
@OneOfTheseDaysAlice: Yeah, this.
Although I got married during grad school and got the same comments.
Post # 14
ooooh boy. that is not fun. I know b/c I am almost in your same situation.
23 years old, I graduated from university, and am currently applying to med school to enter ’13.
My mom couldn’t even be slightly happy for me when FI and I were first engaged, because she thought I wouldn’t become a doctor (and so what if i didn’t!?!). She also said to me, “You’re not getting married till after you finish medical school, right?” Yeah, that would be a 5-year engagement and a 10-year relationship for us. i think not.
Bottom line: I feel ya. We are adults and can make our own decisions. We already know education is important and it sucks that people don’t give us that credit.
Post # 15
@toasty: OMFG I love your user name!! haha so cool/nerdy!
Post # 16
@crayfish: Thanks! ATP are my initials, haha. btw, I see you’re having a wedding in Berkeley! I went to Cal! the bay is my real home :]