Post # 1
I want to know how others would handle this. We made it very clear on our invitations that it was an adult only event. We have told numerous people already that they could not bring their kids. We just got an RSVP that said I know we can’t bring our baby but since the girls in-law’s will be at our wedding (and her husband is a groomsman), they are bringing the baby anyways and will sneak him out after dinner. I think it’s very disrespectful to just straight up tell me they are bringing the baby. It’s also frustrating because I know there WILL be drama because of this. We have guests who are not bringing their spouse or are just not coming at all because they can’t bring their kids. FI’s step-mom will go nutso because I have argued with her about this from day one since she keeps telling people they can bring their kids and then I have to tell them they cant. What should I do? How would you handle this?
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
I would just explain to her like you’ve explained here. You’ve told everyone no kids, and if she shows up with a child, many of your other guests who you’ve already told no kids will be super upset.
Post # 5
Help them find a sitter. It is true that it is unfair and would probably create trouble.
Post # 6
I would speak with her in person or on the phone- no email or text- and tell her that it is just not possible to allow them and no one else to bring a child . I would offer to help find a professional sitter if that is the issue for them, but otherwise I am expecting their cooperation and courtesy.
Post # 7
@Miss Tattoo: the baby is 6 months old. He is the most well behaved baby I have ever seen. I’ve never seen him cry and he is absolutely adorable. He would be about 9 months old at our wedding.
Post # 8
@Mrs.SplatterPaint: I was torn about whether or not to invite kids. Ultimately, I knew I had family members who coudn’t afford a babysitter, but I wanted them to be there. So I can understand why she has to bring the baby. Also understand that she wants to be there to support you. The best you can do is offer to hire a babysitter for her. You have to be consistent; Since you have already told everyone else not to bring their children, she will unfortunately have to follow suit.
Post # 9
Honestly, I don’t think there is much you can do. You have made yourself clear, the obviously aren’t going to listen. Aside from flat out uninviting them, I think you are, unfortunately, stuck with the kid. Besides, being that there will only be one child, I doubt you will have any problems. We have 8 kids and not one single problem. Most of them just sat at their tables, bored out of their mind because they didn’t know anybody and didn’t want to dance!
Post # 10
I had a similar situation but my guest was much better about it in that she contacted me personally and explained that they had never left baby alone (she was 5 months at the tiem) and would need to leave her with inlaws 5 hours away. She let me know that she completely understood if we did not want children and she would consider the inlaws as an option but did not yet feel comfortable with leaving her daughter with anyone else or so far away. I completely understood and was greatful that she was making the trip up (about a 10 hour drive) for the wedding so I gladly made an exception. The baby was calm and the parents took good care of her, sitting in the children’s room at the curch to be sure she was not loud. We were fine with this exception and I don’t think anyone else had a problem with it. I know at least one couple who left early because their children were home with a baby sitter but I know another couple, glad to have a child free night out stayed until the last dance because their children were home with a babysitter so you may please soem and upset others. Only you can decide if an exception is appropriate. I would just say nothing more about it and trust that since she knows this is a child free wedding, she will manage the baby. If MIL asks, tell her you didn’t know.
Post # 11
this is a tough one! i had the same thing. and you need to stick to your guns on this one. people are going to try to break you down so you HAVE to let their kid come. I found a nanny and passed that information along to the guest who wanted to bring her baby. i even offered to go with her to meet the nanny to see if we liked her.
No matter what you do people’s feelings are going to get hurt, but if you do it nicely and help them solve the problem they should get as mad.
Post # 12
Hire a babysitter for her.
Post # 13
It’s their baby so it’s their responsibility to make arrangements or stay home. Simple as that. You can’t make an exception for them when your other guests had to make arrangements for their children. Just the fact that she replied saying she’s bringing the kid anyway would get an automatic “Psh, think again lady!” from me.
Post # 14
I would call her, explain that FMIL is very angry about the no-kids request, but you just don’t have the space or money to invite them all, and you know that she will flip out if someone else shows up with their child, and that it would mean so much to you if she could spare you that drama and find a babysitter.
Post # 15
Call them up and politely explain what you said here. It’s an adult-only even and you can’t accommodate a baby. End of story. It’s not that hard to find someone to look after a baby for one day.
Post # 16
I would call her and tell her what you told us. If you are not allowing any other guests to bring children there should be no exceptions if the baby is old enough to be with a sitter. People will be angry, but they will also be hurt if they see somebody with their child when they werent’t allowed to bring theirs.