(Closed) no kids at reception…but don't have the heart to say no to one.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You should call her up and explain that there are no other children invited, and that it would be unfair to the other guests to allow their daughter to come.  But that really sucks.  Maybe just let all the kids come??  That would be easier! lol

Post # 4
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Just give her a call, say you are very sorry but this is an adults-only affair. Or, if you really can’t do it, make a special role for her in the wedding (such as flower girl or train-holder… I don’t know) so that her presence at the wedding won’t be seen as such a slap in the face to other parents. Not that it would, many parents think of a night away from the kids as a welcome break! The only other option you have is let everyone bring their kids and hire 1-2 babysitters to keep them corralled in another room or corner somewhere.

Post # 5
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

yeah, my FI and i were at a wedding last week and one of his second cousins said to me that she had asked her son (a 2 year old) if he would dance at our wedding next year and he said yes.  i said something like “aww”  completely not thinking about the fact that we weren’t planning on inviting him.  now i’m not sure what we’re going to do b/c i feel kind of bad.

 

i have no idea why so many parents would want to bring their kids to a wedding; it seems like such an annoying thing to have to keep them quiet/under control

Post # 6
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh goodness, I’m sorry! My fiance and I wanted a kid-free wedding (except small ones) because my cousins have 5-9 kids each (i have a LOT of cousins with kids!!!) and it would triple our guest list with all of them, but we are having a dry wedding, and decided to incorporate some yard activities during the reception, and just not have kids IN the wedding. We are only putting names of the persons invited on the invites, but we may end up with your problem! I am so sorry! That is just miserable. :/ To be fair, I really don’t know what to tell you. But i can commiserate

Post # 7
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Stuff like this is really tough – people say that you shouldnt put no kids on the invite, and that the guests will ‘just know’ that kids arent invited…and it frequently doesnt seem to work out that way…which leads to this kind of issue!

I would be like you and not really want to tell her no at this stage – but then id worry that other guests would see her and wonder why their kids werent allowed but she was. Nurse bee has a good idea in that maybe you could make her a flower girl or something – it seems generally accepted that kids in the wedding party can be exceptions to the no kids rule without people being offended. if thats not possible then im not sure what to do as surely invited all kids will really push up the costs? i know at my venue the price for children is extortionate, particularly given they dont even eat that much!

Post # 8
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had 40 kids at my wedding. It made planning way harder but the day of, the kids weren’t in the way at all. If I had to do it again there would be like 10 kids and I would have found a way to put them in the wedding party.

Post # 9
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No kids at my wedding or bridal shower…sorry!  I dont think it is a big deal…it is your day. Do what you want!  You will NEVER have a redo! 🙂

Post # 10
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

Ah, the kid question. Mr. E and I touched on this briefly, and I think I have the solution for ours. I’m going to hire a few college students to “babysit” for the reception and thats how we’ll get by.

 

As for your friend, well, this sounds blunt, but that is what receipts are for. Yet you’ve made an exception for a few. I hear you on feeling like you can’t tell her, but the more exceptions you make, the more people will ask you to make another, and another. It may be time to be direct. If you really can’t, ask your FI to do it.

Post # 11
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2005

I love to go to weddings! Kid free. It’s a time to drink and dance the night away. Not your kids under foot so you have to leave early cause of bed time. I just don’t get the whole bring your kid to a wedding thing. I wish you good luck cause I wouldn’t be able to do that convo either.

Post # 12
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Tell her sorry, but no. Because if other guests see a couple got to bring their kid, but they couldn’t. It might cause some issues. 

Post # 14
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We had a similar issue at our wedding. Due to how many kids my DH has in his family (lots of cousins!), we decided to have a no under 10 rule 9 (Except for the flower girls). We didnt want to place it on our cards, but forgot to put it on our RSVP website. Someone rsvped with their little girl and we just called her and apologized explaining that we would love to have the little one come, but there is a no under 10 rule.

If you come up with a general rule like that, it is easier to explain to people and they are less likely to be offended. We had a 6 kids at the ceremony and reception (2 flower girls and their sisters and 2 kids that were my bridesmaid’s) and nobody questioned anything at all.

Post # 15
Member
747 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

wow it looks like she did this purposely…she wrote her daughter’s name on the rsvp and then message you saying these things just to have you where she wanted you and she got you…lol…i guess if your fine with this then ok, i would think like oh no she’s trying to taunt me and be slick…

Post # 16
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

OK, don’t want to sound silly….but there is ettiquette regarding NOT putting onto your invites?  I put on my RSVP…I wonder whose ettiquete guideline that is?  Obviously, they had children to bring to a wedding. LOL. Just makes it too uncomfortable if you dont say it…this is the on the bottom of the RSVP…

 

Please respond by August 1, 2012

 Thank you for understanding our Ceremony and Reception will be adults only 

 

 

The topic ‘no kids at reception…but don't have the heart to say no to one.’ is closed to new replies.

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