Post # 1
I am planning to have no kids at my wedding besides mine and my nieces and nephews. My question is, Who do I carefully word this on my Invitation or Information card without offending anyone. What are your thoughts on this? Are you having kids at your wedding? If so, what is the age cut off and why? Thanks for the help!
Post # 3
You don’t put anything on your invitation other than you simply address the invitation to who is invited – Mr and Mrs. Smith. If children are invited, you put Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family.
No we are not having children outside of the flower girl and ring bearer. We will provide babysitters to those who might need it. We will also make exceptions of course for people with little babies. We don’t see it being an issue since most of our guests don’t want their kids to come with them to a black tie event. Also, our venue is in the hotel so they can easily check in with the babysitter we provide since their kid is right upstairs!
Post # 4
Unfortunately, there’s no way around the fact that it’s almost certainly *going* to offend someone, especially if most kids aren’t invited but a few are.
You get to have the wedding you want and make the call about whether/which kids to invite, but that doesn’t mean that everyone will automatically be happy about what you decide. Whatever choice you make comes with consequences that you will get to deal with.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
We are not having kids at our wedding. We haven’t sent out invitations yet so I’m not sure if we’ll mention it or not, but this is what I put up on our website (in several places) “Please be aware that we are having an adults-only ceremony and reception. However, we would be more than happy to help you find a sitter in the area for the night. Just let us know!”
It’s not terribly careful about not offending people, but it’s straightforward and provides for a solution as well (if you’re willing to take that step).
Post # 6
I put “adult reception to follow” in small print at the bottom of the invite. Maybe it’s not propre etiquette but it sure saved me a ton of headache.
Post # 7
We are having kids, but what you should do is just address the invite to who IS invited. So if your uncle John and Mary are invited, but not their three kids, the invite should be addressed to John and Mary Smith. You can put that you’ve saved 2 seats for them at the wedding on the RSVP card, and then if you get it back and they RSVP for their kids, you need to call them ASAP and let them know that the invitation was only for those whose names were on it.
Post # 8
our age cut off was 11/12, but we made an exception for my husband’s nieces and nephews. we tried to make it very clear that kids weren’t invited. we put “adult reception” on the reception card, only wrote the names on those invited on the inner envelope, our rsvp card said, “___ seats have been reserved….” and we mentioned it on our website and save the dates.
however, we still had people assume/ask if they could bring their kids. most people understood why we didn’t want kids there and even those with kids told us that they were happy to have a night out with the grown-ups!
but we did have people who were bothered, but it was our wedding and our money, so i got to make the rules! hah!
Post # 9
I know that we can address the invites to specific people but I am a little worried that they might not get the hint. I guess if they dont get it I will have to make phone calls,
Post # 10
On the invites I’d put a line clearly stating how many seats are reserved for the invitees. If they do ask, just say that it’s only close family kids. I’m sure someone will still be offended but there is just no way to please everyone, so don’t worry about it. You have drawn a clear and concise line that makes sense.
Post # 11
I’m having only a select few children. I haven’t done invitations yet, but I plan to follow up the invitation with a mass-email with information about the venue, transport, dress code etc. I will also include this line: “Due to venue restrictions, we are unable to accommodate children other than those explicitly invited”. I hope that’ll do.
Post # 12
We aren’t having any children at our wedding and I read somewhere that it was bad etiquette to put that in your invitations.
Instead, I have it at the bottom of most pages on our wedding website stating that it is an adult-only reception due to venue space limitations. Sometimes, it’s easier to say that then to say you just don’t want kids. Another approach we are also taking is my mom and my FMIL are personally calling family members with children and letting them know the situation.
So far, this has also gone over well and we’ve had no serious issues. A couple of people have retaliated and said they wouldn’t come, but for the most part folks were relieved to have a night off.
Post # 13
I wasn’t going to have children originaly either outside of my FH’s kids.. However we figured that the familes would not come if we didn’t allow children to come even thought I am sure some o them will hire babysitters.. If you prefer adults only, I agree with a post above about “Adult Reception to follow”. I think that politely states no children.
Post # 14
You can put “Adult Only Reception” or “An Adult Only Affair” on the bottom of your invitations, like pp mentioned.These are two examples I have seen before on invites. Its clear and not rude IMO. this is also what I will do once I get married. My cut off age if 21. the only children that will attend, would be our daughters, my niece and his nieces and nephews. its like 10 kids all together.
Post # 15
I guess I am more worried that some guests wont come if their kids can’t. Myself and my FI went to a wedding about a year ago and did not take our kids simply because we wanted to have a kid free night. I am hoping the other parents will rather come alone anyway.
Post # 16
Some will and some won’t – some will feel as you did and welcome the opportunity for a “date night,” while some won’t want to attend without their children. All you can do is set the rules/plans, you can’t really do anything to control how people respond to them.