No kids at wedding= no cousin at wedding…

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1381 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Stand your ground. I think it’s better that one cousin not attend than your DH being upset or other wedding guests being upset about their child not being able to attend. Can your cousin come in and hire a sitter to stay at the hotel? Or stay with a sitter at another relative’s house? Maybe you could offer to pay for the sitter or pitch in some money to make it a more affordable option?

I didn’t want to have kids at my wedding/reception and my brother pulled this stunt. I gave in and had a crying infant during my wedding ceremony/vows. Then my brother dipped out of the reception early (probably within 10 minutes) and left the baby with my mom. So annoyed.

Post # 4
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@StarIzInkd:  How old is the baby? I always think it is appropriate to make exceptions for nursing infants (under about 6-9 months). Not only are they hard to get babysat, they aren’t mobile (not crawling until at least 6-7 months) so there aren’t the safety / disruption issues you have with toddlers.

If the child is older than that and cousin fells he/she can’t be babysat, then I agree, you don’t want to make an exception.

Post # 5
Member
2061 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@StarIzInkd:  I am 1000000000000% right there with you! Anything living and breathing under 18 is not allowed at our wedding…This is definitely bitchy of me, but I don’t want anything crying or whining during the ceremony, or our guests to worry about their little ones. Our wedding is a formal event and no place for a kid…that said, FI has about 4 first cousins who will not be attending because they’re too young. We both are in the “absolutely no chance in hell” camp in terms of letting kids come. 😛

Post # 6
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@StarIzInkd:  If getting a babysitter would otherwise be an option, you could recommend some local babysitters.

Post # 7
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree with all or nothing!

Post # 9
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My mom forced me to make exceptions, but I would tell them that you’ll be sorry to miss them at the wedding and leave it at that.  I don’t think you should have children at your wedding if you don’t want to.

Post # 10
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@StarIzInkd:  2 years old is plenty old enough to leave with a friend or in-law while she flies to your wedding (which should be a maximum of 2 nights). If she can’t do that, then too bad, unfortunately she can’t be there. I would advocate making an exception for a sibling’s child, but not a cousin’s child.

Post # 11
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I wouldn’t make any exceptions, especially if your BM has a child she’s leaving at home. 

Post # 12
Hostess
3787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Eh, this is just what happens when you have “no kids.” I’m sure you’re cousin loves you, but but she cant/doesn’t want to leave the baby home for multiple days which is pretty reasonable. I don’t think you have to make an exception, it just is what it is. Just own your decision and let her own yours. 

I’m sure she’ll love looking at your photos. : )

Post # 13
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@StarIzInkd:  We had a child free wedding. I made an exceptin to my out of town inlaws for thier 2 year old son. My family, even though they live within 20 minutes of both venues, were not happy at all.

It’s all or nothing. People will get offended.

Post # 14
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m going through this as well right now, also having a black tie/evening wedding .. there would have been 18 kids under the age of 6 if we had invited my fiance’s cousins’ children (I have 3 little ones on my side)…we stood our ground which unfortunately caused a lot of problems with my fiances family as this would be the first affair someone didn’t include the kids in. Our venue also doesn’t charge a different price for kids versus adults which is absurd in itself (who would pay the amount we are for someone that will not appreciate what it is)  

Was even told there would be no joy or laughter at our wedding because the kids would not be there. .. um excuse me .. I hope there is even more joy and laughter as I would think everyone will be more relaxed/enjoy themselves 

That being said, many of my fiances cousins will not be coming since they would be traveling across country (they live in ca and we’re on the east coast). Judging by how these individuals reacted I really don’t mind that they will not be at our wedding. Its sad but at the same time you have to stick with what you want/believe in.

A wedding to me is quite different than a sweet sixteen, bat mitzvah, birthday party, etc….but I respect that not everyone would agree with this decision 

 

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