no kids etiquette?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yes, you’re being irrational. I had a no-kids wedding but that’s his BROTHER and coming from OVERSEAS. Its not that serious for just one exception/kid. Or you could hire a babysitter if you’re adamant. I know I wouldn’t leave my kid with someone I don’t know in a different country. 

Post # 4
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

melienstuey:  

If I were in your situation I would totally make arrangements for them, because they are coming a long way and do not personally know anyone. Other option would be to make a few suggestions. 

At least you don’t have to deal with the drama of them bring their kid to the reception. It’s a lot to ask someone to spend likely a lot of money to come to your wedding to ask them to find a sitter in a completely different country.

Post # 6
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

What is it that you have to deal with that you can’t find a sitter if you really don’t want the child there? We all planned or are planning weddings. You can’t be that busy.

Post # 7
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think because they are coming from overseas, your situation is a bit trickier. If they were more local I’d say not to worry about it, but I think in this, as the hostess, it’s your responsibility to help. Instead of actually making the arrangements, perhaps you could recommend a few babysitters that they can then contact? Deep breaths 🙂  We aren’t having children (apart from those in the wedding party) at our ceremony or reception either and we struggled with how to convey this – we ended up posting it all over our wedding website. If you have one, you could include babysitters’ information there, or simply shoot them an email with information. It shouldn’t take too long and I’m sure with the stress of traveling overseas, with a toddler no less, it’d be much appreciated – that’s quite an expensive and exhausting trip. Do you have a MOH or perhaps a sibling or relative that could step in and help you handle it?

Good luck! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Arrange for a babysitter. It’ll be a few minutes out of your day and maybe a little bit of money, but it’ll show your good will to his family. I don’t see why this is an issue at all.

Edit: Why do you want them to leave early? Why can’t they find a sitter and have a night off?

 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  .
Post # 9
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

melienstuey:  that’s ridiculous. So you will tell them to leave early? If the kid falls asleep you definitely have no worries. We made a few exceptions to our no-kids rule for close family. I think we ended up with 6 kids. Their ages were 3 weeks, 2-4yr olds, 6, 8, 14. We barely noticed them. 3 of the kids were in the bridal party.

Post # 10
Member
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

melienstuey:  Why can’t their kid join your kid with the sitter you’ve already arranged? Provided that 3 kids isn’t too much for the sitter to handle?

We had no kids at our wedding. The RB and FG were welcome to stay, but their mom (my MOH) preferred they go home and had a sitter waiting to pick them up after the ceremony. She wanted to enjoy herself and since there would be no other kids.

Post # 11
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

So you’d really be OK with your new brother in law and his family traveling overseas to come to your wedding, and have him leave probably really early?  I would never expect that of family and if I was your BIL, I’d be pissed!

I think you’re being irrational.

Post # 12
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

melienstuey:  If he is coming from overseas, it is completely unreasonable for you to expect them to leave when it is the baby’s bedtime. It is unacceptable that you would do anything to hinder them having a good time on vacation. They may not be comfortable with a babysitter that is a stranger. I think this is just something you have to deal with. If you want his brother there, as you should, it is your job as the hostess to make him and his family comfortable. 

Post # 13
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

 

melienstuey:  Really? So they have to leave early because their baby is tired and they came overseas for YOUR wedding do you realize how bridezilla that is?  If someone like you said that to me and I was coming a long ways I would decline to even come and not send you anything.  Find a babysitter, it isn’t that hard to do especially since they are coming from overseas and more than likely won’t know who to even look to for watching their child

Post # 14
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee

Why can’t whomever is taking your twins take the 18month old, as well? If they are coming from overseas it’s only right that you make an exception or make arrangements for the baby, anything less is likely to leave a bad taste in his brother’s mouth.

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