Post # 1
So I didnt place anything on the invitation that stated no kids aside from just not adding them to the envelope. I did however add it to my wedding website. It says “Although we would love to celebrate with everyone, we are unfortunately not able to invite children under the age of 15, due to space restrictions. We hope you understand.”
We had our first person flip out. She is on my side of the family has 6 kids one over the age of 15 and I said she can bring him if she would like but unfortunately we cannot invite children under the age of 15 due to space restrictions. She basically told me if the children cant come that she wont be there. To me its like “sweet dont come…one less place” (I wouldnt actually say that) I literally said”Im sorry you feel that way but we are unable to make any exceptions, I really do hope you understand.” That was it. She then went on to call my mom and complain then tell other family members who called me to complain. (like 3 people on that side of the family that I am not close to.
My question first is,
Is listing that on my websit rude?
am I being ridiculous by not caving and letting them come? Me and FI have over 60 kids in our family I dont want to say okay to one family and no to another.
Post # 3
I honestly can not understand why people get so angry when there kids arent invited!!! It is EXPENSIVE to invite your 5 year old who is going to eat 50-100 plate of chicken fingers and not even understand nor remember the day! I am not a parent but I would just take it as a nice night out alone.
I am dreading going throught this myself in April/June. Ugh I am sorry.
No I dont think your website was rude, and no you’re not ridiculous you shouldnt cave because once you do for one you need to for the rest.
Post # 4
1.It is not rude to have that wording on your website. It shouldn’t be necessary as she should have known if her children’s names were not on the invitation, they were not invited. Obviously she was away the day they taught etiquette at her house.
2.You are not being ridiculous.You are entitled to have a child free wedding.She is entitled to decide not to come.
Post # 5
Not rude. One of the main places to let guests know what to expect is on the website. They should have also gotten the hint from your inviation. Many people are doing adult only receptions or children over 15+. A lot of it has to do with cost, etc. 60 kids is a lot and a lot of extra money. Since she’s not close to the people she complained to I wouldn’t worry. If you have a budget you need to keep or person count, stand your ground.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
On the invite:
“Aduly reception only, please.”
I put it on our website like this:
“Due to the intimae nature of the venue, please leave the little ones at home”.
We set up babysitter too (the parents paid, not us 🙂 ) Every single person was ok with it!
Post # 7
It’s not rude at all. We are having a child free wedding, aside from my fiances little brother and Little sister….(his father married a MUCH younger woman after his parents divorced).
Post # 8
I don’t think your wording on your website is rude at all. And no, I don’t think you are being ridiculous by telling her no. Keep sticking with the no exceptions thing and hopefully others will be more understanding!
Post # 9
Not rude. Stick to your guns!
Post # 10
Not rude. We have it on our website too… worded something like “due to the tone of the event and space limitations, we respectfully request an adult only event”… although I want to change it to include teens. My invites aren’t going out until summer, but I’m debating about how to incorporate it into our invite. I was going to write Adult Cocktail Reception (no dinner at out wedding) but that would imply no teens… so I’m unsure.
You were NOT rude, and it is your right to have your wedding YOUR way. Kids really don’t belong at weddings anyways… there’s loud music, lots of drinking, it goes late, and they don’t understand the purpose of it really.
Post # 11
I put it on the invites. I have no shame either. It’s at a brewery so I have that as an excuse. I just put it on the bottom and said “21+ please”
i put it on our website that due to the nature of the venue no one under the legal drinking age will be able to attend.
Post # 12
Guests need to understand your wishes. I don’t want kids at my wedding. it’s costly, and I’m not fond of children running around everywhere. I’m only having my 3 nieces and 1 nephew in the wedding party, then to dinner. After dinner my sisters are getting a sitter so they can enjoy the night. That was up to them.
Post # 13
Not rude. I think the best reply to her is that if she can’t make it, you will be sorry to miss her, but that you understand. If the choice is between 8 people (the parents + 6 kids), 3 people, and 0 people and you can’t afford to host the 8, then it’s up to them to choose between the 3 and 0. If she ends up not coming and you want to visit her and her family after the wedding, you can either go there or just have them all over to your house.
Some people treat weddings as if they are family reunions, which in part they are. But that is not their main purpose, and it is not your responsibility to foot the bill for a massive family reunion that includes all cousins and children. Relatives who are that annoyed should just figure out a time in the summer when they can all meet up for a full family reunion with the costs shared by everyone, rather than trying to coerce every girl in their family to invite them all to her wedding.
Post # 14
I put it on my website just like you and I do not think it is rude at all. My invitations aren’t going out until this summer but I’m positive someone will complain. Luckily, I have FI, my parents, and my future in-laws on my side. I told my MOH that she will need to physically remove children if she needs to haha. This is coming from someone that works with kids everyday and LOVES children. Just not at my wedding.
Post # 15
We did the same thing. No complaints so far but invitations just went out. I felt it was good since we couldn’t include the explanation on the invitations. Plus since we will have neices and nephews there and it isn’t a blanket no children policy, transparancy is a good thing.
My wording was “Due to venue policy and space restrictions, we have been required to limit our guest list to children within the immediate family only. We hope you will still be able to celebrate with us.”
Post # 16
Haha! I loved your response (said only in your head). If you are not that close with any of them then hopefully they all will decide not to come. Less money for you!
it’s not rude at all. I asked my girlfriends with kids how they felt if I had a kid free wedding and all of them said “great”. None of them wanted to worry about their kids all day (as it can be a long day/night for little ones).
I like the the idea of helping point them in the way of a babysitter (they pay for it but you could help arrange it).