Post # 1
We’ve tried to be very clear with friends that we are not inviting kids to our wedding (except for those few (3) who are expressly invited). However, it seems like many people aren’t getting the word-of-mouth message. Our invitations are printed and lead our guests to our web site for a lot of information. Is it appropriate to add something to the web site that says something along the lines of:
"If you’re travelling with young children, please let us know as far in advance as possible and we will assist you in finding child care for the day & night."
Or should we just flat out say:
"No children, please"
"Please leave the kiddos at home, or contact us if you need assistance finding child care for the day & night"
I don’t want to be rude to our guests, but we do not want babies at the ceremony and the reception site is rather dangerous for kids (pools, ponds, busy road, dog) so my parents have asked that, for liability reasons, we not have kids at the reception if at all possible. Any advice?
Post # 3
I think the first is the most appropriate and it’s nice that you’re willing to help find them childcare.
Post # 4
If you are worried that they will question your reasoning you can always add a line about the liability issues and you are looking out for the safety of the children first and formost, otherwise you would love to see them all
Post # 5
Since its on the website, that means you have a little more room to explain the situation.
I would say something like "Do to the nature of our reception venue, those traveling with children should make alternative arrangements for childcare. Please contact us as soon as possible if you need assistance."
That way its not like you are saying that you don’t want children there but that its not safe for them to be there.
Post # 6
Call me rude, but I wouldn’t even extend the childcare help. This is what I put on our wedding website:
Important information for parents: We cannot accomodate children at the ceremony or reception. Please make arrangements prior to your RSVP. Thank you for your understanding.
I’m sorry, but since when did childcare become the bride and groom’s problem?
Post # 7
I am in the same situation and I did put something on our website. I also sent the same message with our save-the-dates. People can think it is tasteless or rude, but I didn’t want anyone to say they didn’t know or I didn’t give them enough time to find alternative arrangements. Our ceremony and reception cite is also not very kid friendly and its going to be a night wedding with an open bar. This is the language that is on our website:
<span style=”color: #663300″><span style=”font-size: small”><font size=”2″>Our wedding ceremony and reception will be an adult-only occasion with the exception of the children in the wedding party. Unfortunately, we will be unable to accommodate any other children. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. However, it is our hope that by sharing this information so far in advance, parents will have an opportunity to make childcare arrangements for that evening, so that they can join us for this very special occasion. We thank you in advance for your understanding. We truly hope to see you on September 12, 2009.</font>
Post # 8
Our website will say something similar to poli2b’s wording, with the contact information for a couple of childcare references posted (given to us by our venue). I’m not offering to help arrange anything. I’m also thinking about using the "___ of 2 attending" line on my RSVP cards to really make my point. I’m expecting drama from some, but the people who will make a big deal out of it and stay home are the ones who won’t really be missed, to be brutally honest.
Post # 9
This is what we wrote on our website with the "Event Information":
For those of you travelling from out of town with small children, we are looking into providing childcare during these events. If you are interested, we can also provide a list of babysitters that you may contact directly.
I don’t feel like we need to explain why children are not invited…but I do know it’s hard for OOT-ers to figure out what to do with their kids. As far as I can tell, everyone but one couple has gotten the message (or asked directly) from the way the address entry form we sent with our e-sav the dates was worded. I guess we’ll find out soon though 🙂
Post # 10
We’re having a DW, and we are just not inviting people with children under the age of about 6. It was hard to cut them but that’s how we’re getting around it.
Post # 11
We are really trying to spread the word. to the out of towners. I think we might go with announcing it on our website as well. I think it’s nice to offer babysitting services, I’m just scared of recommending in case something goes wrong.
Post # 12
Great idea! We aren’t having kids either so putting that on the website is great.
Seriously, what did brides do before we had websites to put all that information on there?
Post # 13
I think that if you say "If you are traveling with young children…" the first thing people are going to do its ring kids i think. And then with bringing the children along, if they can’t find someone to attend to them, will just shrug it off and bring them anyway because by that time it’s probably too late to find someone.
I don’t think that it’s inappropriate at all- eveyone’s been to that wedding where there’s a screaming baby- it just kind of is embarassing for everyone, and completely interferes with your moments up there in front of everyone that are important.
You could maybe say something like "An all adult ceremony and reception are requested" and if you feel a bit awkward wording it bc of what people might think of you maybe could say "The parents of the Bride & Groom request a completely adult ceremony & reception"
Post # 14
The first is the best idea IMHO. We put something similar on our website. I hope people take the hint : )