Post # 1
My FI and I are getting married soon and invites have gone out. My BIL is also getting married in about 6 months. His FI has 3 kids. Our wedding is no kids except for our own as they are part of our wedding party. The history is that my BIL’s FI has never taken her kids anywhere, we have NEVER met them and just recently I found out that she has mentioned that she plans to bring her kids to our wedding. The invite is sent to my BIL and the inner envelope is addressed to my BIL and her.
To go further, when she found out we were getting married she was not happy. She shared with my FIL that she thought I’m not good enough for my FI and that perhaps I’m not “The One”. I do my best (when I’m around her) to make her feel welcomed and be a good hostess and treat her the way I would wanted to be treated as we will soon be In-Laws.
Today via a social network she posted that she was coming to my wedding with her kids! OMG! How do I handle this? We don’t talk. The invite was sent to my BIL and not her. The RSVP card is not for the family.
Post # 3
You need to have your FI deal with this. Technically it’s his brother, it’s his problem. He needs to call him right away and let him know that it is an adult only reception and he will need to find a babysitter. It’s not your battle to pick with her, let your FI handle it.
Post # 4
I agree with MightySapphire. If you try to do this on your own, any chance you had at peace with her is out the door…tread carefully!
Post # 5
Talk with your FI firts and decide a course of action together. Then, he can explain everything to is brother. Of cours, to keep the peace, he may want to invite the future children in-law of his brother… if he does, i dont think you will have another choice than accepting it… Good luck!
Post # 6
I think that if it’s a “no kids” reception, then it should truly be “no kids” for all guests (people will understand why your own kids are there). It could be really awkward if another friend or family member who paid for a sitter because of the no kids request arrived and was confronted with random kids (unlikely most ppl will know who’s they are). I agree that your FI needs to handle it, not you. Unless your FMIL is on your side and she could help out? Best of luck! These kinds of issues are why I tried to convince my honey to elope, but he didn’t go for it ;o)
Post # 7
I also agree that your FI should do the talking. It seems like she is being intentionally snarky. I don’t understand why people think they can ignore etiquette…
Post # 8
your fi should handle this as soon as possible. maybe she know the kids arent invited and she is doing it on purpose… dont know! but he need to call as soon as possible
Post # 9
I agree with majority here, you need to have the hubby talk about it with his brother and see about handling it that way. if you talk about it with her, it can end badly!