Post # 1
I know you are not suppose to say who isn’t invited and all the good stuff, but there are people that I know will just assume its okay to bring their kids. Fiance and I are only allowing kids that are in our family and Out of Town guest. There are 2 kids from Out of Town but they are my BMs kids and so far they said they were not going to bring them. How do I nicely say that we are only having kids in the family attend.
We are having an open rehearsal dinner so they are more than welcome to bring them then but for the wedding I just don’t want to do it.
Post # 3
I have no idea what the rules are but if you weren’t having any kids there I would say something about you wanting everyone to have lots of fun and be carefree so please leave the kiddies at home but since SOME kids will be there.. I dunno. I have the same concerns so I’ll be interested to see what people say!
Post # 4
How many people have kids who won’t be invited? Honestly, if it were me, I would call them and let them know- if you’re worried that they will just bring their kids. You can also have a note on your RSVP cards “We have reserved
spaces in your honour” and fill in the number yourself for the amount of people the invite is for.
I think that the wording on the website will be difficult because you are inviting some kids (which, btw, I think is fine). It might be difficult to explain that you’re having kids of the bridal party and Out of Town. That might work in person, but if you actually write it down, you may get people arguing “why do their kids get to come?”, etc.
We put a note on our website because we were only inviting one baby who was still breastfeeding. I wouldn’t have put a note at all (we weren’t dealing with THAT many possible kids), but we had friends that we spoke to a year in advance “forget” and ask to bring their kid and set up a pack and play. lol That got shut down immediately.
Post # 5
This is the last thing needed to finish my website and I have to do it now because I sent out my Save-The-Date Cards yesterday. My Fiance has a HUGE family and tons of kids and they are very close knit so I can’t do no kids at all.
I want to use space but there was a wedding there last week with over 600 people. I probably still can get away with it because its a new venue and I’m sure the people I invite wouldn’t have been there before. So How about this:
Because Fiance and I have a huge extended family and limitations exist, we can only allow kids in our family to attend. We are, however, having a Rehearsal Mixer at our home the day before the wedding and would love for you and your family to stop by. We will be having tons of kids activities to keep your little one occupied. We thank you for your understanding and hope arrangements can be made that will allow you to still attend our Special Day.
Post # 6
@ArwenBride: Pack and Play! Thats what I’m talking about. Lol. Even though we can afford it, I just don’t see myself spending thousands of dollars on just one day. If I spend $100 or if I spend $20,000 the bottom line is I am marring my man and thats all that really matters. My venue is a blank slate so I have to rent everything. I have 2 employees that have 3 kids a piece then I have some with more some with less.
People that I am inviting from intown I would say about 25 kids and I’m talking under the age of 10. My guest will RSVP online so no insert cards. This sucks!
I already told on friend well, I didn’t directly tell her but I was pretending that I’m really stressing over it that I wouldn’t be able to have kids at the wedding because of cost. Then the other day she told me her daughter is excited about my wedding because she hasn’t been to one before.
Then my coworkers daughter is the same age as 1 of my flower girls who is Out of Town so I had her try on the dress when I got in just in case I needed to send it back. She was just twirling in the dress. Then she asked is this what I’m wearing to your wedding. I told her that she won’t be at the wedding cause it will be way past her bed time. She kept asking what time. Her mom finally said there won’t be any kids at the wedding so your not going. OMG she started crying hugging my leg begging me to come. So I told my coworker to at least let her come to the ceremony, but she was like Hell No I would never take their bad asses to a wedding. lol
Post # 7
I think that the wording of your message is fine, but I would add “immediate” in front of family. I’d say something like “Due to circumstances, we are only able to extend invitations to children in our immediate families. We thank you for understanding and hope that you will be able to join us on such-and-such a date”. If you say “Special Day”, that might make parents pissy. Do not get into specifics with people who complain. “Circumstances” covers many things- budget, space, etc.
Also, I’d add another line under a different heading on your website about the Mixer. I think that you might confuse people (even though your intial message is pretty clear) that there are two distinct events going on; one that is kid friendly, one that is less so and is on a different date.
We had guests RSVP by email and included the little note about spaces reserved with the RSVP instructions. You can also set something up like online this depending on how people are RSVPing (email, online service). I know that other ‘Bees have mentioned an online RSVP service that doesn’t allow guests to add extra people.
Post # 8
@ArwenBride: Love it! Thanks. I do have a calendar of events section where the mixer is listed so I guess I can mention that kids are welcomed and its open to everyone. One problem solved but I’ll be back with more!
Post # 9
In our FAQ section we have put:
Can we bring our children?
Our wedding is an adults only event, with the exception of immediate family, and we thank you so much forunderstanding. If you have any trouble organizing care for your children, please contact us so that we can assist you.
(Our wedding is out of town…)
So far we haven’t had any issues 🙂
Post # 10
I actually think a few parents will get offended in your case. If there are only one or two kids around that were because they were family/wedding party fair enough but when 25 plus kids are running around I think other parents might raise an eyebrow or two!
I think most kids look forward to weddings more than adults- it is a big exciting adult thing that they get to be a part of! I would hate to for the child not invited (especially the one told there were no kids going) to see photos with kids in them! Kids just don;t understand all the details and especially lying.
Post # 11
@j_jaye: The 25 kids are from in town guest not Out of Town. That number is just under the age of 10 so that number can increase. The little girl that was crying her mom is the one with 3 kids. If she brings 1 she will have to bring all but she said even if I was allowing kids, she wouldn’t want to bring them any way. She’s one of my usheretts anyway so she won’t have time to watch them.
Some of the people we’re inviting we know their kids but not to the point where we can point them out. Excluding kids in the family is not an option. I know some people might not show because of it and I’m totally fine with that.
Post # 12
I do not envy the task you have at hand…. Best of luck!
Post # 13
I wrote this on our website:
Are children invited? To allow all guests to relax and enjoy themselves, we have chosen for our wedding day to be adults only and we request you leave your young ones at home. Please contact us with any questions! We thank you for your understanding and hope arrangements can be made that allow you to still attend our big day.
And wrote on the RSVP invites “We have reserved __ seats for you” (something along those lines).