(Closed) No maid of honor? Need advice

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m not having a MOH!  My wedding party is my sister, my fiance’s sister and two of my friends… I just don’t want to put anyone “above” anyone and so far it’s worked great… I ask each of them to help me with tasks based on their “strengths” (i.e. one is helping me choose my must play list for the dj, one is planning the bachelorette, etc.)… I’m happy to have it this way because really my mom is my BFF and we kinda both agreed it’d be weird to have her as my MOH and my fiance is my real BFF ๐Ÿ™‚  So yeah… it’s a little awkward cause he has a best man but who cares?!  It’s our wedding so I’m just going to do what feels right for us!!!  Happy planning ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
Member
1190 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Future Mrs Armby:  I am trying to do the same thing as you…question who is signing your marriage license?? and who will be saying the speech from your bridal party???

Post # 5
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My friend did not have a bridal party at all. She had a close friend sign the marriage license, but you really could have your mothers or fathers do that to even avoid choosing someone. I do have a bridal party and 2 MOH, but they are NOT doing speeches, so unless the speeches are something you are really planning on, that can also be aovided. Or if you do want speeches, maybe you could ask your BM’s to write and present something together, so it is not on one person. I would not choose that friend to be your MOH just because has ‘qualifications’ that might make her good at the job, because it sounds like it could lead to problems down the road.

Post # 6
Member
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m having four BMs, but no MOH. I don’t want to choose one girl over another, and I don’t feel there’s a need for it.

I’m having my mum sign my marriage license, and I’m having all four BMs do a short speech together.

In general, I’m not putting too much emphasis on having one person stand out above anyone else.

Post # 7
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am not having an MOH either!  I am having my sister, my best friend, and one of my other closest girlfriends, my old roommate from undergrad.  It seems silly that people think we have to choose one above the rest.  My sister probably would have been my MOH, but we aren’t as close as I am with my other two girls, plus she doesn’t like public speaking. SO, I will have my sister stand next to me, my best friend give the speech, and then my other gf is actually helping with most of the planning so far.  I think they are all pleased that I didn’t pick one of them to throw most the responsibility on ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I just had 4 BMs – my sister, SIL, and 2 friends.  I had no one give a speech.  It just gets awkward when vendors are asking about a MOH and you tell them that there isn’t one.  I had my sister stand closest to me and then SIL and then my 2 friends based on how long I knew them.  My sister had to adjust my train during the ceremony, and SIL held my bouquet. 

It all worked out just fine, everyone chipped in equally for my bach. party and my mom and MIL threw my shower.  So no one contributed any more than the others.

Post # 9
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@linz09:  I will probably have my mom sign the marriage license…OR have just a random friend do it (I wanted to have more bridesmaids but with a wedding of only 70 people its just a little cray to me to have more than 4 bridesmaids)… so it is kind of a neat way to honor another friend!!!

 

As for the speeches… I’m not entirely sure.  I think I will just see how wedding planning goes and take into consideration which of my bridesmaids I have the best memories with / who would do the best job.  It feels mean to say that but it’s just true – I know my sister wouldnt have a whole lot of nice things to say about me (we have never got along) and I’ve only known my future sis in law for a year!!  So yeah… most likely it will be another bridesmaids or maybe just another random friend!!! 

Post # 10
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Vera Girl:  I love the idea of the 4 of your bridesmaids doing a speech together!  It’d be a fun bonding experience for my girls since theyre all from different walks of my life!!!  Thanks for the idea ๐Ÿ™‚  I’m SOOO happy to see I’m not the only one who has chosen to go the no-MOH route!

Post # 11
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’m not having a MOH. My ladies all have the title “bridesmaid” and they’ll all help and whatnot. I didn’t want someone to be given a lot of the responsablity nor for there to be hurt feelings as why one was chosen over the other. It fits me, because I don’t even like the term “best friend”! FI isn’t having a best man, either.

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