Post # 1
A few weeks ago, one of our female friends said this. And the best part is, SHE’S ENGAGED!!! Her and her fiance have been dating for 10 years and they were always like “oh, we don’t need a piece of paper/big party to solidify our committment.” But then they decided to elope and are getting married in Vegas. She claims that the only reason they are getting married is because it’s convenient when it comes to legalities and taxes. Wow, that’s romantic.
When she made this statement, though, all of my fiance’s close guy friends who were present instantly argued that my fiance REALLY wanted to propose to me. Apparently he made this clear to them after we’d only been dating a few months! Obviously this made me feel really good and I’m glad to have a guy who actually wants to make this committment. In fact, HE was the one to broach the subject of marriage when we first started dating.
So this friend was like “you must be one in a million then.” She refuses to believe that men actually want to get married and said that probably 90% of them would rather not. I can’t believe she feels this way, because her fiance is super sweet and caring and obviously adores her. But they’re a pretty unconventional couple and I’m wondering if that’s why they initially didn’t want to get married.
Do you guys agree with her cynical view? Why or why not?
And what’s your opinion on people who think they’re “above” marriage?
Post # 3
That’s funny. There are plenty of men who actually want to get married. Lucky for me my DH was one of them.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
My FH wanted to propose to me, it meant a lot to him. So that I’d take him seriously, he saved up and bought the ring – he knew I’d put him off a bit longer for financial reasons. I wanted to get married, but he wanted it sooner than I did, I was happy waiting.
Such sweeping statements are very cynical and presumptive, and wind me up a little.
I’m fine with people who don’t want to get married, and won’t judge them for it, but I’d hope they’d give my choices the same respect.
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
Well, I guess we’re all an anomaly then, because my FI was the first to say “I love you” and was the first to bring up marriage and proposed, totally surprising me.
Post # 6
I think that’s a terrible stereotype. Plenty of men want to get married. I happen to be marrying one of those men.
Post # 7
My DH and I were at a wedding 4 months after we met and he said he knew he wanted to marry me and couldn’t wait for that time to come for us… He proposed 5 months later. I’m guessing he wanted to get married or he wouldn’t have brought it up, especially not so soon after starting to date. I can’t stand when people say things like that, it’s definitely not true for everyone.
Post # 8
@atlbride2013: I completely agree. It was more important to DH for us to get married than it was to me.
Post # 9
DH wasn’t exactly gung hu about marriage, he just always figured it was something you do when you get a certain age. But he tells me daily that he loves being married though!
I mentioned to a bunch of guys over the weekend that no man wants to have a baby and they all agreed with me! One of the guys even had a baby.
Post # 10
DH was so excited to get engaged and get married. We were only engaged for 8 months because we didn’t want to wait. One of his good friends though doesn’t seem as thrilled about marriage in general and didn’t even congratulate him when he told him the news. He quietly asked if DH had planned to get engaged or was it forced on him LOL.
Post # 11
If men really didn’t want to get married, they would never do it. This is evidenced by the fact that there are men out there who are confirmed bachelors.
Post # 12
My FI definitely wanted to be married as our engagement was a total surprise. He picked everything out on his own and saved up on his own.
My brother has been recently divorced, and all he can talk about is how he would love to get married again and settle down. The divorce was not his idea.
Post # 13
DH surprised me with a proposal. He was ready to get engaged before I even considered getting engaged.
Guy who wants to get married do so. (I also know a few guys who wanted babies before their wives were ready.) Also, we only complain about the men who don’t want to commit.
Post # 14
OP, to put it simply, your friend is full of it 🙂
Post # 15
Your friend is 100% wrong.
Post # 16
I have some guy friends who are idiots (they are not close guy friends, obviously) and who spout the whole “evolutionarily speaking, man was meant to be with many women” nonsense. I think they maybe don’t want to get married right now, but once they realize they’re not 30 anymore (and that in a good year, MAYBE 2 women will want them) they will. I’d like to add that when they say dumb stuff like that I wish I could literally smack sense into them. Thank God most other guys are more sensible!