No mass

posted 2 years ago in Catholic
Post # 2
2172 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I’m a little confused.  Who told you that you can’t have a full mass?  I’ve always been told that a Catholic and a non-Catholic (but baptized Christian, usually) can have a full mass with special dispenstation.  It’s not usually recommended, because the non-Catholic can’t take Communion, but it’s not forbidden.

Post # 3
3643 posts
Sugar bee

xoxo_712:  You’re right – you’re marrying him. Your mother isn’t the one getting married. I’m sure this won’t be the last thing, that she disagrees with. Good luck!

Post # 5
2172 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

xoxo_712:  A deacon can’t preside over a mass anyways, so if you wanted a mass, you’d need a priest (or higher).  He can witness a marriage, but he can’t do a full mass.

If your FI doesn’t want a mass, and you’re happy to marry him, your mom can get over it.  It’s your two’s wedding, not hers.

Post # 6
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

You can have a mass, with a dispensation, but the canonical advice is not to have one in your situation (source: Methodist who married a Catholic in a Catholic ceremony).

It may be possible for the pair of you to have a private mass either before or after the wedding ceremony, and either with or without your immediate family, with a dispensation. In fact, this was suggested to me by our priest in order to satisfy my in-laws. However, care and tact will have to be used in order to make this more inclusive than exclusive in character…

Post # 7
3230 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am not catholic but DH is and we were told it was our choice to have a mass or not. However the priest did advise us that it would be best not to have one. It’s kind of exclusionary to start your marriage off by doing something that divides you (ie only the catholic family members able to do communion). We chose not to have one and it was  fine.

Post # 8
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

I’m going through something similar … FI was raised Catholic but is non-practicing, I’m not even Christian, FMIL wants me to do a quickie baptism so we can have a full proper Catholic wedding. I’m just not comfortable with it, and FI doesn’t want it anyway, so we’re skipping that. I’m confused, though – are you upset because YOU want the full mass and it can’t happen, or because your mom is pressuring you?

Post # 9
10 posts
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Church

rachel85:  I agree with this. It would be a different story if OP’s FI was converting.

Post # 10
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

xoxo_712:  *sigh* I’m sorry for you.  I wish I knew why the church has to make these things so difficult.  We’re paying $800 AS PARISHONERS and still I’ve encountered some slack in the planning.  You’re not doing me any favors, so don’t act like it!  Ugh!    

Post # 12
732 posts
Busy bee

BurlapnLace:  the Church isn’t being “difficult.” They aren’t doing it to be mean. They are the beliefs of the Church. They can’t change the teachings to make it easier for us. Also, they aren’t making you pay that money. I know we don’t have any set fee at my church. Just remember,  every venue requires some type of payment and they have their own rules, just like the Catholic Church does.

BTW, I don’t mean to come off mean or rude by any means. Just trying to see it another way. 🙂

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