- 8 years ago
Hey Bees – I need your help!
We’re trying to figure out when we want to get married (either next fall or the spring after – I’m voting for the sooner the better) but finances are keeping us from the wedding we want… or think we want. The biggest reason we would wait would be to save up more money toward the expense of the wedding. We’re usually very financially responsible people, but we’re young (mid twenties) and don’t have a lot of savings built up, and it seems irresponsible to me to spend so much money on a wedding when we could be investing it toward our future together. Both sets of parents are willing to help, but neither has more than a few thousand dollars that they’re able to contribute.
J really, really wants to have a dinner reception (or meal), because he thinks receptions without meals look cheap, and we’ll have quite a few people coming in from out of town (we’ve both lived in several cities since we left our mutual hometown where we’re getting married), so we want it to be worth their while, if that makes sense.
To me, the most important thing is that we’re surrounded by our families and friends — the more the merrier, even if it means we feed them peanuts and soda water.
So how do we balance our 200 person guest list, all of whom are very important to us, with wanting to keep it under a reasonable sum of money? What have you seen for reception ideas that have been genuinely inexpensive, but not looked so?
One idea J had was to do photos in the morning, lunch with the wedding party and our closest out of town friends at a local restaurant, then the ceremony in the early afternoon, light cake reception in the afternoon, and then the whole wedding party (and OOT guests) stay at the same hotel, go dancing at the hotel bar that evening.
I kind of like that idea – we’re not as close to our families (which are significantly sized and mostly live within an hour of where we’re getting married) as we are to friends, but don’t feel we can fail to invite them if we’re asking dozens of people to come in from out of town. The thought of an ‘afterparty’ allows us to still get down and have fun with our friends, while the older relatives get the white wedding and cheap reception (which they’ll love, because our older relatives are so cheap that they’ll probably prefer the cheaper reception and would judge us for spending money).
What do you think? Is this too much? Will it still be just as expensive to have an after party at the hotel where OOT guests and the wedding party are staying? Does ettiquette say we’re required to pay for hotel rooms for all of these people? Or invite everyone to the after party?
Help bees! I’m new to the planning game and still talking ideas out.