Post # 1
I have 3 Bridesmaids – 2 of them are my best friends and the other is m future sister-in-law (who is getting married to my BIL next year…)
My two best friends are equal to me. Both are wonderful and I am close to each one of them equally. One of them, has done more for the wedding that the other, however, I can’t blame the other best friend because she just had her own wedding one month ago!
I couldn’t choose between the two for a Maid/Matron of Honor so I do not have one. But now, I am trying to figure out the processional list and who will be standing next to me. Who do I choose? How? If I were to go in height order, my future SIL would be next to me, but I don’t think that would be right since she has not done nearly as much for the wedding as my best friends.
Help! What would you do?
Post # 3
That’s tough…. but I’d say just go with one of your friends. Most people know that the girl standing next to you isn’t “more” a friend than the others… You could always just have the tallest of the two friends?
My Fiance doesn’t have a Best Man, just his three brothers, so he’s doing them in age order. I have 4 BMs, including a Maid/Matron of Honor. After that, I’m doing them in height order. My Maid/Matron of Honor is the tallest anyway.
Post # 4
Who is going to sign your marriage certificate as a witness? That’s who should stand right next to you.
Post # 5
Think about it this way- your friends and Future Sister-In-Law are likely very honored that you have chosen them to be part of your special day. If you don’t have a Maid/Matron of Honor, chances are none of them are expecting to be “standing closest to you”. And to me, if I was a guest at your wedding and didn’t see a Maid/Matron of Honor in the program, I would not think that the girl standing closest to you was any more important to you or did more for your wedding than the girl standing farthest from you.
Do Fiance have a best man? Is the best man one of the shorter guys, or one of the taller? I would go from there and place your ladies tallest to shortest, or shortest to tallest to be more pleasing to the eye from a spectator point and not worry about offending anyone.
Post # 6
Since you probably don’t want to choose between the friends, have you Future Sister-In-Law stand closest to you and also sign the marriage license after the ceremony. That way it won’t look like you are choosing one friend over the other.
Post # 7
The person who stands next you typically does two things: Straightens your dress/train once you are situated up front and holds your flowers (along with her own). Take into consideration if there’s anyone who can’t do this comfortably. For example, my Maid/Matron of Honor (and only BM) was 8 months pregnant so the Best man had to help her with my train. Not a big deal, but if it comes down to it, things like this could help you decide.
Post # 8
You could do reverse height order so your SIL is furthest away. Or you could do alphabetical order (this is obvious to the guests if you have a program and list your wedding party in alphabetical order too). Just two different options!
Post # 9
I agree with jamaicabride, just to cause less issues between your friends I’d have your Future Sister-In-Law stand next to you 🙂