Post # 1
I’m stressing out right now!!!
My SO & I are both undergraduate students unable to pay for our own wedding. We were fine with just having the religious ceremony but our parents ea commited to giving us $5000 because they realliy wanted to celebrate the ocassion. We have paid some of the venue, food, decorator, officiant, dress and photographer. My Mother-In-Law was fired a couple of weeks ago and just called to notify my Fiance that she will not be able to give her $5000 for the wedding.
So now we are left hanging in the air because we won’t be able to pay for the rest of the wedding. I don’t even know how to tell my parents, they will are also struggling economically and will be pissed that FI’s familly will not be contributing as promised.
I don’t know what to do! I was leaning towards canceling the wedding, but then all the money my parents have spent goes to waste. My Fiance suggested using a Student Loan to pay for the wedding. GRRRRRR! I just want to sit on the floor with a bowl of ice cream and CRYY!!!!
Post # 3
How about just simplify the wedding! Go to a local park, borrow a friends big back yard or go to a beach and just do it! There are some many brides and couples who have the sames stresors and worries as you, and at the end you just like: I’m in love and want to be married.
No need to go over the top or work 5 jobs for a wedding everyone will forget in a month.
Or elope, and save for a grand wedding when the time is right!
Post # 4
Just go to the courthouse! Embrace the fact that you’re young and in love and completely broke. Have the wedding you can afford without parental help and you’ll look back 50 years from now and remember being young and completely broke but you loved each other so much you just wanted to be married.
Buy an adorable dress, some pretty shoes, and take your parents with you to city hall. A lot of photographers will give you a deal if you only need them for a couple of hours (especially during the week). Have some fun taking pictures around town and go out to dinner with your families afterward.
There are a ton of stories here on the boards of women expecting money that never came through, or forgotten expenses that popped up, or their planning spiraling out of control. If you can’t afford the wedding you were going to have, that’s okay! Just scale it down to something you can afford that won’t create this totally unnecessary stress.
(And don’t take out a loan for your wedding. It may not seem like a big deal now, but that extra money that you’ll be paying back for years for just a big party probably isn’t worth it)
Post # 5
I totally agree. We were already having a brunch wedding, no alcohol or music to keep costs down and because I’m not really into the whole big wedding.
The wedding as of right now is under 10000 (around 6500 to 7500) for 200 guests (after trimming down the guest list like crazy)
I would LOVE to elope but unfortunately we can’t (or really shouldnt). We are both from really close HUGE Puertoriccan families that at the mention of elopement got all flusterred and sad. Thay have ALL been such an important part of our lives we need to have them with us.
Post # 6
I really wish I could do that.
In my relationship it’s my fiance who wants the traditional wedding, convincing him of a courthouse wedding is near impossible. I tried it before beginning wedding planning and He, my Future Mother-In-Law and my Mom ganged up against me in favor of the wedding.
Post # 7
I guess the main problem is you dont want to lose the deposit money you’ve already put down?
I suggest talking to your parents anyway before doing any rash that you might regret. I am not saying to ask for more money, but they might be more offended if you throw away the money they have already given for deposits.
Then when you know what the whole picture is, talk to your vendors. Some might be more generous than you think, and offer a discount or return your deposit. Certainly if you dont ask, you’ll never know.
Try not to worry, you guys will get married somehow and you can have a wonderful day on $5000!
Before you panic, try and get the whole picture from vendors and i guess try and get back as much of your parents money as you can and then plan something more modest on their $5000.
Post # 8
Definitely will do!
Hopefully my parents will be receptive in the conversation. They had prevoiusly mentioned that they were unhappy with the fact that my Future Mother-In-Law had still not contributed anything to the wedding and that they would not pay for the whole wedding.
Post # 9
I’m doing a wedding on a $5000 budget, but I guess the big question is how much money have you already put into the wedding? How much do you have left to pay on the services you’ve put a deposit on? Could you nix the food at the reception and do appetizers or desserts only?
Post # 10
Is it still early enough where your Future Mother-In-Law will get another job? Maybe reduce the amount?
Post # 11
We used around $2400 of my parents $5000 contribution to pay for deposits and such.
As we were already planning a low budget wedding, for the reception we are doing a breakfast buffet at $9 pp including the buffet with juices, the silverware, the china, the waiters, and the room rental for 5 hrs.
Her old job still owes her money, which hopefully she will get in the next couple of months. If not she will have to start legal proceeding to get it,which would take too long Best case scenario is that she gets the money back before we have to pay off all our vendors. She also has alot of unpaid bills because if this situation so there is no knowing how much we can count on her contributing or when.
Post # 12
I’m so sorry 🙁 It sounds like you were already cutting corners where you could, so this is a tough situation. I would really hate to lose the money I already put down, so I would try to pay everything off that you have already committed to, and then drastically cut corners on everything else? If your wedding is at about 6500-7000 right now, it sounds like you could drop this just by cutting the guest list (unless you’ve already sent Save-The-Date Cards or something). Maybe no alcohol at the reception? Talk to your photographer and see if you can shave a few hours off of the shooting time for a discount?
Post # 13
Could you push the wedding back?
Post # 14
for the reception we are doing a breakfast buffet at $9 pp including the buffet with juices, the silverware, the china, the waiters, and the room rental for 5 hrs.
a breakfast buffet wedding at $9 per person, what is the $10K being spent on???
Post # 15
Honestly I would avoid the conversation with your parents if possible, it’s really not their business whether or not your FIL’s can contribute or how much they are spending. If it’s too late to make cuts on how much you’re spending since you’ve probably already signed contracts and paid deposits, I would let your Fiance take outt he student loan – generally I advice against that, but I’d rather take out a loan than cause bad blood between your parents and future in-laws, your parents never need to know where the money really came from.
Post # 16
I’m sorry but someone has LOST HER JOB and your primary concern is with a party and worrying that your parents will be upset over losing their money? It seems very selfish if you or you and your fiancé to show up with your hands out when she gets her money from her previous employer when she has no other income coming in for survival. If your so set on getting married when your young and financially unstable then you should have a wedding for the you g and.Dina dialog I stable. Courthouse and cake and punch reception.