Post # 1
So I was planning on a small wedding for budget and the fact that neither of us really know that many people. Mostly family, a small handful of friends Total people invited about 50. The thing is, most of the family I invited won’t show up either. My FH doesn’t have any really (mom,sister,grandfather) and almost none of my extended family will show up. We almost never talk to each other. My dad is the youngest of 5 my mom oldest of 3 each of their siblings have 2 kids and no one can find the time to make it. My own grandmother is choosing not to come. Right now I’m planning a wedding where there are 7 people in the party and only 19 people coming. What’s the point?
I know well still be married at the end of the day but I just wanted to be able to share this once in a life time day with the people I love. Have fun and make memories, but it just feels like a money sucking inconvenience.
Post # 2
I hear yeah I am a little different though since I don’t really want a wedding, I would be happy to run away to some island and get married. This is what we are planning on doing no one just us. Maybe elope and have a cocktail reception for everyone you just mentioned . Just an idea 🙂
Post # 3
AbbigaileR: “but I just wanted to be able to share this once in a life time day with the people I love.”<br /><br />
It sounds like the people who aren’t comign are those who you hardly ever talk to anyway. You are having a wedding with the people you love! Intimate weddings are a lovely thing. Plan around that idea and I bet you’ll be able to create a really unique and special celebration.
Post # 4
AbbigaileR: To be honest, I’m planning of a wedding of 130-ish and I look at the small intimate weddings (on blogs) kind of jealously. They seem so elegant and you can do neat things like seat everyone at one long table (instead of spread out in a giant ballroom). You can also afford a nicer meal for fewer people and get exactly what you want.
I’m currently trying to figure out food and drinks for a TON of people (on a budget too, oh heeey) and kinda wish the whole thing was more simple. I’m happy with our decision to have a bigger wedding so far but the details are overwhelming.
Grass is always greener on the other side right?
Post # 5
AbbigaileR: a little different as we found out after a bit of planning we didn’t want a big wedding. However, we had a wedding with just 4 guests (our legally required witnesses) and really, it was lovely! I really enjoyed not having much stress or planning to deal with at all, and the day of the wedding was so perfect and down to earth, low key… It’s not the end of the world and a smaller wedding means you can get more bang for your buck, focus on who/what really matters, and do it all with little stress =) wishing you luck!
Post # 6
Awwwww I’m sorry you are going through that! I kinda feel your pain but reversed. I invited 164 people and so far I am up to 130. so it’s nice that people are coming but I’m coming close to my bridal shower and staggette and barely anyone is coming. Just me, one friend, my bridesmaids and MOh (that’s basically 5 people). so it’s a lacking party.
That makes me feel kinda weird because they won’t come celebrate with the bride but they will come to the weddinbg and it makes me feel like they are just coming for a free party and don’t really care about me and the groom.
I hope everything works out for you! If that’s all that’s coming then, you know what? You know the real people who actually care for you are coming!
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2015 - Historic house and gardens
AbbigaileR: We will be having about 30 guests (and only 6 of those are from my side), but decided to not have a wedding party as a result. If we took some guests out as the wedding party we would have about the same amount as you.
Personally I think you are really lucky to have a small group of friends and family who want to be there for you. Don’t worry about the ones who can’t be bothered to make it. They are not worth your time on such an important day. You may choose to do things a little differently, as we have, due to the size, but that has worked in our favour.
Just try to focus on all the wonderful things that a more intimate wedding can bring.
Post # 8
AbbigaileR: you have over 20 people who said YES! i will be there to celebrate your day!
That is the point.
If you still feel that is not worth planning something then why not elope?
Post # 9
Poor you! Which family member would you really, really like to have there? Grandma? Whoever it is, can you contact them and say it would be very special for you if he/she could walk you down the aisle? (or do a reading, or something specific). They might respond better to such a personal invitation?
My first wedding was relatively small, only 50 including the bridal party, and it was a beautiful, intimate day. I’d rather have that than a big blowout.
Post # 10
I agree with a previous poster who said that you will be spending your wedding day surrounded by those you love. I feel that it’s better to have a few close people who will stick by you through thick and thin than a larger group that’s just there for the party. You’ll be able to visit with every guest and won’t feel like you’re being stretched too thin. I’d be sad too though if my grandmother chose not to come so maybe you could talk to her and let her know how much it would mean for her to be there with you. Once you say your vows and promise to spend the rest of your life with your best friend you will not care about how many guests are there.
Post # 11
lilwickedful: Are most of the invited guests for the shower and stagette living out of town? Personally, I would not travel in for either of those events, even if I was coming to the wedding. It doesn’t mean that I don’t support the bride and groom, but I can’t afford to do both!
Post # 12
AbbigaileR: I know the feeling all too well. Since your total guest count (including wedding party) is so small, here are some alternatives that come to mind:
-You can either do without a wedding party (if no one has made any final purchases on attire) or make all your guests a part of your wedding party (why not?)
-Change your venue and theme if you can: I’m not saying your plans should be entirely scrapped, but maybe a nice picnic, tea party, movie night on the lawn (using a projector…I’m sure you know what I mean…home movies, memories you’d want to share), or barbeque could be some alternatives to explore. You could customize your menu (keep on mind that it’s all in the presentation of the food, use fun ingredients like edible flowers for example).
If I think of anything else, I’ll let you know 🙂
Post # 13
Well, if you will have spare seats, you can fill the refusals with new friends you have made along the way? It might help you ease into your community even more if you invite a neighbour or something.
Post # 14
rosiedee: Nope! Everyone who was invited is local! I barely have any guests that are from out of town actually. i actually didn’t invite anyone that was out of town. Some of these people I invited to my shower and stagette are peole I have known for years and I thought we at least had a relationship enough where they would attend at least one of them.