Post # 1
FH and I are not going on a honeymoon due to lack of funds. Any money we get in wedding will go to paying bills etc. 🙁 My FI works for his dad and his dad is super greedy and selfish and pays FI very little… I am sill in school, basically we barely are able to survave.
I am sure everybody will be asking “So where are you going for a honeymoon?” I guess I have to say “We are not going, we have no money for that” Is that approprate ? (it is true!!!)
I wish FI dad would wake up and pay FI more. Also, I hope FI dad would feel bad for the fact we are not gong to have a honeymoon because he is no selfish, and I hope all thr people who ask us this wuestion would realize that FFIN is so selfish! 🙁
Post # 3
I’m sorry this is the situation you are in, but I would not tell people that you’re not going b/c of money. I would simply say “oh, we’re going to wait and go on our honeymoon later down the road instead” and leave it at that.
Post # 4
I’m sure that not having a honeymoon is very disappointing, but you can still celebrate with your new husband even without leaving town! Would you be able to put some money together to stay in a nearby hotel for a night or two?
If people ask, you can just tell them you’re celebrating at home and maybe you’ll go on a honeymoon for an anniversary trip instead! They can think what they want, but you can just make it seem like your choice to not go.
Post # 5
In your situation, I would just say, “Right now isn’t the best time for us to go on a honeymoon. We’re currently looking at a few options for sometime in the future when we it will be a better time for us to go.” If people persist on why it’s not a good time say, “There’s a lot going on in our lives right now and we want to make sure it’s a special, stressfree vacation. In a few years, when things settle down, we know we will be able to go on a much better honeymoon than we would be able to plan right now.” I think that will basically say – “In a few years, we’ll be able to afford one.”
Post # 6
We were lucky enough to find some money in our budget (had budgeted for 80 guests, only ended up with 64), but our original plan was to not have one. When people asked, I was honest most of the time. I also said we hadn’t decided on a place and I didn’t have the time (which would have been true – I work at a law firm and I booked my wedding at the beginning of trial season. Thank goodness all of our trials at that time have settled.
Post # 7
There is nothing inappropriate about saying that; it’s all about if you are comfortable with letting people know that is the reason.
Post # 8
@inspiration86: I would do a first anniversary luxury-moon, instead!
My parents spent a long weekend in a fleabag motel 30 minutes from their house, then went on a MASSIVE two week honeymoon the next year!
Post # 9
I think you can be honest in answering those questions, but perhaps you should try to frame your answer in a less specific, more positive manner.
Instead of saying, “We can’t afford to go on a honeymoon right now,” perhaps you could respond with, “Well, we’re really not in a position to take a trip like that right now, but we hope to be able to do that at some point in the future.”
Post # 10
@QueenGee87: But it is also about the guests comfort. I could see it going one of two ways if the OP went around saying that especially at the wedding 1. guests will put their hand in their pcokets and give the couple money on top of the gift they already bought because they feel bad for them or 2. the guests will feel like they are being manipulated into giving the couple something extra so they can have a honeymoon.
Both situations are playing on the guests emotions and is not a nice thing to do to people.
@inspiration86: I would just do as other posters have said and not mention the lack of funds but to just deflect with a not the right time statement.
Post # 11
Until my grandparents surprised us with an unexpected gift, we weren’t able to go. Now we are going to go on a local, small honeymoon. Until then I’d just mention it was due to $$, and say we would look at doing a big one when I finished grad school instead. Because you’re in school, perhaps a similar answer.
Also that sucks about FI’s dad. I’m sorry. Hopefully when the market gets a bit better he can find an employer who pays him what he’s worth 🙁
Post # 12
Why not go camping for a couple of nights. If you have the equipment it costs next to nothing, and if you don’t have the equipment, you could borrow it from family or friends. Sure its not glamorous, but its fun. Fi and I are going on a hiking/camping trip for our honeymoon, and I can’t wait!
Post # 13
@inspiration86: Just say “we’re taking a delayed HM so that we could save up for a trip we really wanted to go on”. We’re not going on an HM til next May (our actual 2 year anniversary from our court house wedding) and being that the big wedding is in Cali and is a trip for us, this isn’t an issue. Don’t let people make you feel bad. Can you do a min-HM locally?
Post # 14
@j_jaye: My FH’s brother got married 3 years ago. He had a huge wedding, his parents paid for everything, he did not have to pay for anything himself, he went to a luxurious honeymoon funded by his wife’s grandma. (not to mention that he works with my FH together… and his wife has a daddy millionaire so they have so uch money)
Now all these same guests will see that WE are in much worse situatuion. We are older than the brother who had wedding before.. our wedding is twice as smaller with guests, we have to pay for photographer, dj.. and we cannot afford a nice honeymoon! I wish to tell people because people do not know how much we struggle with financials! I want that they give us little extra money because we need money more than the couple who had their wedding 3 years ago.I will opendly admit we have no money so people feel bad for us, oh well I am not ashamed to struggle with $, both FI and I work very hard and in the future we hope to have more money after I graduate, but it is years away, so those people need to realize it, not just think just because we are in late twenties, we have stuff
Post # 15
@inspiration86: your lifestyle (school, his job) is your choice. People shouldn’t treat you any better because you have less money. If you tell everyone how broke you are, it can come off like you’re fishing for money.
I’m older. My parents gave my siblings money for their weddings but there’s none left for me. We’re postponing our HM but we’re not whining about it.
I’m not sure why you posted this if you already know what you wanted to say.
Post # 16
@inspiration86: “I want that they give us little extra money because we need money…I will opendly admit we have no money so people feel bad for us.“
ugh. sorry — but this really rubs me the wrong way. I think weddings are about letting people celebrate your wonderful comittment with you. I think you should plan a little soiree that you can afford and feel happy and blessed if your guests choose to give you gifts in celebration. I do not think that anyone should gift you more or less based on your financial situation (or the upscale-ness of your wedding)! You are not entitled to any gifts just because you’re getting married. This is not a job and you are not providing a service to your guests.
It also sounds like FI should be looking for a new job. Has FI asked his dad for a raise? Proven that he deserves one? If he thinks he’s not being adequately compensated in his current position, he should be actively looking for a new one. If he’s doing a job that’s worth more than he makes, then he should go find that job that will pay him. FYI — I think this may not all be FFIL’s responsibility.