- 3 years ago
This is pretty ranty for a first post, but we just got freaking engaged and I’m already scratching my head about how we’re going to do this. This has probably been discussed before, but if it has, I can’t find it through the WeddingBee search OR through Google. TL:DR – We have no money, no time for DIY or budget planning, and the in-laws want the big fancy wedding without having to contribute financially.
What I seem to be finding is that you can do an easy wedding if you have money or a cheap wedding if you have time, but finding something that’s cheap AND easy is next to impossible. We’re planning a wedding for next year that was originally supposed to be 40 people but has ballooned to over 100. I’m about to start medical school and have no income. Fiance is an extremely busy public attorney with 140k in loans, and is paying for my living expenses while I’m in school so I don’t have to take out more loans (scholarship will pay for tuition). We can’t really go above $5000 without blowing our already small pot of savings, and we will not go in debt for this. So we’re looking at a budget of maybe 6-7k, with the expected parent contributions, and we live in a fairly expensive major metropolitan area.
This would be hard, but not impossible, except that I KNOW I’m not going to have time to plan this thing, and he won’t either. I’ll be in class from 8-5 every day and will have homework and studying on top of that. It’s completely unrealistic to expect that I will have time to scour Craigslist for deals or make my own decorations. (Doesn’t help that I’m not a crafty person – I’m pretty sure that any attempt at making centerpieces would end with me drunk, crying, and covered in glitter.)
To make matters more aggravating, both of our parents had really cheap weddings in the 1970’s-1980’s, and they simply do not believe me when I tell them how much it costs to plan a wedding for 100 people. But when I suggest ways to cut costs – courthouse wedding, off-season wedding, cutting the guest list – they get upset and pretty judgmental. They also do not want to contribute more than 1k or so (each). (Believe me: there are times when I’m tempted to tell them that THEY can do the 5k wedding planning, if it’s so freaking easy!)
At this point, I just want to say eff it and elope to Hawaii. Fiance admits he likes that idea but doesn’t want to rock the boat with the family. I also want to ask friends to help, but fiance doesn’t like the idea of imposing. Because we’ll be a single paycheck household, I’m not sure we’ll be able to save anything substantial until I’m out of med school and residency, which is at minimum 7 years from now – that’s my absolute last resort, but if there’s no other choice…
Am I screwed? Is there a way to do this that I’m not seeing? Or does it come down to choosing between putting us in financial straits, upsetting his family, or upsetting my fiance? (I swear that these are all normally sane, wonderful people!) Please, if anyone has been here before, help! Or, you know, just confirm that I have to make an unpleasant choice.