- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
we are stuck in planning stage with no date set yet due to money.
FI I are young and made some stupid financial choices in the past which resulted in debt, which we chose to pay off rather than go bankrupt.
We both work full time and combined make about $100,000 a year before tax. There is never anything left over from that week to week. it’s frustrating, but we’ve got about 2 more years before we are out of he hole we dug ourselves. We don’t go out for dinner, go to movies with friends or really do anything which requires money.
it really hurts when people say have you set a date yet? And you have to shake your heads. I don’t mind waiting, but I kind of wish wed waited to get engaged when we could afford to start preparing (waiting bees, keep that in mind!!)
i wouldn’t mind either if I could see an end in sight but we have 2 years before 3/4 of our debt is paid off and then we’d have to have another year or two of saving… I don’t want a 5 year engagement!
Amongst all of this, I’m really hurt by my dad’s actions. He is a very wealthy man, currently selling his home for 7mil. He has lived overseas most of my life with my stepmum and half siblings (who I adore). He has been bragging to everyone how he is sending the eldest to a $30,000 a year school next year. (I’ve budgeting My dream wedding at $18500 and my schooling was $4000 a year.)
when we first announced our engagement, several members of my family said that dad was going to pay for it. They said they’d spoken to him and he had said that to them. This was brought up again when he went to visit some of them (I’ve never been the one to initiate this conversation)
my grandma said he has to as she paid for his wedding when he was late 30s and already very wealthy. It’s a longstanding tradition in our family.
dad hasn’t said anything to me. In one email where he was responding to my general catch up email, he said that he was “willing to play his part financially”. I responded that his contribution would be hugely appreciated. Since then, nothing. He won’t even reply to my emails.
He loves my FI, my FI rang to ask his approval and he gave it freely. I just hate being left in this limbo. i would have rathered him say that he wasn’t contributing as now I don’t know where I stand. What is contributing his part? traditionally the father pays for the whole lot, or does he mean he’ll get us a great gift, or something in between? i can’t do anything until I know.
i don’t know how to ask without sounding tacky, I don’t even know if I should. Should I just be resigned to the fact that we cannot get married for 4 years min? I don’t want to have a court house wedding, I’m only getting married once and want to get it right, I don’t believe in vowel renevals down the track.