Post # 1
I am 6 weeks out from my wedding and I am having 2nd thoughts. Not about being married but about having a wedding. My finace and I early on decided (maybe more I forced it) to have a wedding and not go on a honeymoon right away, now I am regretting this decision. We still have several final payments left to settle by the 15th of Septemeber and now I am feeling like we should cut our loses, head to Key West (where I wanted to honeymoon) and get married there just the two of us! This wedding is stressing me out and I am beginning to feel like it it not for us but for everyone else. When it is over he & I will be married, but in a little bit of debit and everyone that attended the wedding will go on with their life and we will be an afterthought. I am not sure all the money spent is worth it. We could use that money to go on a honeymoon & still have enough left over to put a down payment on a newer house (something I really want, our house is almost 8 years old and in need of some cosmetic upgrades). I haven’t mailed our inviations off because I am contemplating calling it off. My fiance wants me to do what ever will make me happy and he will support whatever decision I make. I know both of our parents will be okay with whatever we choose. I don’t have any living grandparents and he is not very close with his. So those that matter the most will be happy for us. My question is, is it too late to call the wedding off and run off and get married? What would you do?
Post # 3
@tdmklm1217: Hmm…tough decision. How much will you lose by calling it off? (more than 1/2 the cost of the wedding). Can you cut down your guest list so the financial impact is lower (since you haven’t sent out invites yet)?
We thought about eloping briefly, but decided we really wanted to celebrate our day with friends and family becuase that is what is most important to us. In the end, the photos, the memories and the feelings were worth the money spent. We are waiting three weeks to go on our honeymoon (because of timing/jobs) and while it was a little bummer, it’s not too bad.
Could you take a short mini-moon after the wedding (2-3 days in a nearby town)? Then do a bigger honeymoon later?
Remember, you really only get one wedding day (though you could do a vowel renewal), so decide what you really want out of it. Some people just want to be married, others want the whole shebang.
Regardless, make the decision that will make BOTH of you happy.
Post # 4
I was with you until you said you wanted a newer house because your current house is 8 years old. What?? Houses aren’t like cars/computers/phones- most people live in houses waay older than 8 years. My current residence is 55 years old, my last residence was 93 years old. Even my parents house, which they built, is 23 years old by now.
But aside from that, I think that a honeymoon and downpayment is a better use of money than a wedding you aren’t 100% about. How much money are you going to lose though? Will you be able to get any refunds?
Post # 5
normally by this point youd be locked into a ccontract so cancelling wouldnt give you much if any money back
what do your contracts say?
Post # 6
I had questions about the wedding being worth it, even though I have always wanted a big celebration with friends and family. After all was said and done, I think it was well worth it. Everyone is STILL talking about our day and the photos have been flooding in and it’s amazing. I wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the world. It is an amazing feeling having everyone you love and that love you being in the same room. We went on a mini-moon for 4 days to my dads cottage. It was nice going off the grid for a bit and relax after all the craziness. We aren’t doing a honeymoon until December and we’re both perfectly okay with that. Helps you relive the specialness of the day 😉
Just make sure you two are happy with whatever you choose to do. Good luck! xo
Post # 7
Do you have people traveling from other states for the wedding? Have they bought plane tickets? You don’t want people to resent you for wasting their money.
Post # 8
We would lose quite a bit of money but not more than 1/2. I will get my deposit back on catering, cake, and venue. I would lose my deposit on DJ (already paid for), photographer (already paid for), wedding planner (already paid for) and florals (only paid 25% down). I would still get to wear my dress if we elope, because is was the most expensive thing we purchased. My bridesmaids got their dresses really cheap less than $100 (they got lucky) so I wil reimberse them if they can’t return them. They have not purchased shoes or accessories and I haven’t purchased my veil, accessories, and new shoe (I have a stress fracture that is taking forever to heal so I can’t wear my original shoes). So that money will not be lost.
I don’t think cutting down the guest list would make that big of a difference. Catering is actually one of the cheaper expenses. The venue was very expensive and my flowers were outrageous because I want real flowers, I dislike (nice word) silk flowers so they are not an option.
BTW I was not saying the house was too old I was just stating how old it was although I do like modern homes. The house was his when I moved in and it is not what I would have chosen as my home. It is in the town I want to live in and the school district was where I wanted my daughter/son to attend so it works for now. We do have 2 kids in the house now and he has 4 additional kids who come over just about every weekend, so we are on top of each other at times. He bought the house at a time when no children lived here and his kids were only over two weekends a month.
Post # 9
No family flying in from out of town. I do have realitives that were going to drive in but they are staying with me and driving their own car so they wouldn’t lose any money. All of his family lives within a three hour drive so we are good their also.
Post # 10
Are there other ways you could use the deposits you’ve paid that are non refundable? Your DJ and photographer likely have smaller non-wedding oriented packages that you could discuss down grading to. A post elopement portrait session perhaps? A cute at home cocktail party to celebrate when you return from Key West, that maybe you have DJed for a few hours? You could even ask your florist if she could make you a fantastic bouquet with the deposit money and ship it to key west for you! If you’re serious about canceling, it can’t hurt to talk to your vedors about your options.
Post # 11
If the photographer is already paid for why not elope close to home and have them photograph it for you. Then you could be off to a honeymoon.
Post # 12
I would elope and use he dj and photographer for a small low key celebration when you get home
Post # 13
It sounds like, in your heart, you don’t want this wedding and would rather elope. So I voted for eloping!