Post # 1
So, my FMIL wanted to plan and throw me a bridal shower, which is great and I’m very thankful. She has a very cute idea as well, to sort of replicate High Tea at the Fairmount Empress in Victoria. My understanding is she made favors and everything; the shower is today so I haven’t seen. I’m sure it will be fun but I can’t help but feel a tinge of disappointment.
I won’t know anyone that is coming. My friends can’t make it. She gave two weeks notice for the shower and sent out eVites because it’s the only time her daughter will be in town before the wedding in May. The few friends of mine who were going to try to make it backed out yesterday. She has a dozen people coming that are friends of hers but I don’t know them and I’m very shy by nature. My Mom and Grandma are coming, which is good.
I guess I just thought it’d be different, like I’d have some friends there. It makes me feel sort of bad that no one I knew could make any kind of effort to come – though I suppose I don’t blame them with two weeks notice. It’d kind of surreal. I talked on the phone with my FMIL 9:00 PM one evening and she asked if I liked her idea and I said I did but I thought it was pretty preliminary. The next morning when I woke up I had an eVite for two weeks out in my E-mail inbox.
I also wonder, irrationally, if this is how the wedding will be. Granted we’re sending the invitations out eight weeks in advance and it’s a totally different event/situation but I think it’s hard to be logical when you’re feeling sort of down. Will no one come to that?
So, I’m thankful, but had kind of pictured my shower differently.
Post # 2
I’m sorry your friends couldn’t make it. What’s up with that? It was nice of yournFMIL to throw the shower for you though. Try to have fun:) I’ll bet there will be yummy food and nice gifts!
Post # 4
Your mom and grandma are coming and I’m assuming you know your FMIL, so you’ll know people! It sucks that your friends won’t be able to make it, but I wouldn’t read too much into it. Just enjoy the event and don’t get caught up in the negative aspects.
Post # 3
I think that’s part of the reason people do save the date’s, so when they invites go out, its not the first notice! I’m sorry, and I hope your day is still nice!
Post # 5
It sounds like your FMIL is putting a LOT of work into making it really special–I mean high tea, with favors?? You may never get another chance in your life to have a party like this dedicated just to you! It’s sad that you don’t get to enjoy it with your friends, but it sounds like that’s their loss (and I don’t see them rushing to volunteer to throw you a party, either?)
Post # 6
To be honest I don’t feel like two weeks notice is THAT short of notice. I feel like most people could request off work or find a sitter or something in that amount of time.
Could your friends possibly have been uncomfortable themselves with the formal setting and themselves potentially not knowing anyone but you?
Idk, if it were me I’d be more upset with my friends than my FMIL or the party. Notice for a party is not really held to the same standard as notice for a wedding, and I personally feel like two weeks is ample notice for a party
Post # 7
DulcetMute: Rather than focus on the fact that your firends were unable to attend on short notice, look upon the shower as one hosted by your FMIL for her side of the family.
Many times showers hosted by the FMIl do not include the bride’s friends at all.
Post # 8
DulcetMute: Im in the same boat with mine. My mum organised a Linen Party shower, and becuase most my friends/family are out of town, its mostly mums friends that are coming. And the way it works is, everyone puts money in an envelope and the host gets to spend it. But its going to be pretty sucky with none of MY friends or family. But I guess thats the downside to having everyone out of town.
Im sure it will be a fun day for you though. Just smile and thank everyone.
Post # 9
None of my friends came to my bridal shower either. My little sister had more friends there than I did. Besides her friends, it was all older women from the church. I am VERY shy by nature, and hate having attention on me, but it worked out ok. It sucked that I had no friends there, but I tried to make the best of it and be grateful for all of those ladies who took to time to come support me. I had my mom sit right next to me, which helped a lot.
Now that I am pregnant, I am dreading a baby shower 🙁 I am afraid no one will come. BUT I am sure that is irrational.
I told you all that to let you know that I get it. It sucks 🙁 just try to focus your energy on the love that you are receiving from those in attendance, and from you MIL who worked very hard to make it nice. Let us know how it goes!
Post # 10
Two weeks is pretty short notice as in retail you sometimes get your schedule for the whole month in advance, often heavy on the weekends. And my weekends book up about a month in advance because I work weekdays so any hair appointment, errands, visits with friends, are set up on the weekends.
I’m sure they would have made it if they could! You will know people, your mom and grandma and FMIL and everyone will be there to celebrate YOU so try to relax and enjoy 🙂
Post # 11
I wouldn’t blame your FMIL. Invites for my shower went out two weeks prior and everyone invited is making an effort to come. I typically receive shower invites 2-4 weeks prior so it’s not out of the norm. They’d be there a week in advance if that’s all they got. It sucks your friends bailed, I would be upset too. I’d be upset with them and likely make it known if they didn’t have a valid excuse.
Post # 12
I think you should plan another shower (let your mom throw it) and tell your friends you weren’t consulted about the recent date.
This is what is making you sad, that your friends can’t attend at short notice, so rectify it!
In the meantime, enjoy meeting your FMIL’s daughter for tea, as she is a part of your FI’s family.
Post # 13
DulcetMute: My shower was really similar. All my friends but two backed out at the last minute (via text with lame excuses! awesome!) and it was all FMIL’s friends and family. There were two tables and her people crowded around two of them and I had to sit at a big empty table with my two friends. It was totally ridiculous, but I survived, and I actually got a huge amount of registry stuff from these strangers, so that was kind of cool. Overall it was like a weird dream where you’re attending someone else’s birthday party but no one knows you’re the wrong person so you try to just sort of go with it and then your alarm goes off and you have to go to work. I’m also worried that the wedding will end up cliquey like the shower did. I don’t think it will, but I don’t think your fear is irrational. Hope you found a part of your own shower to enjoy! (And don’t feel bad if the part you like best is the gifts haha – not everyone enjoys hanging out with strangers.)
Post # 14
Now that it’s happened I can say it was actually really fun! My FMIL’s friends were very funny and kind, and incredibly generous! I wasn’t expecting anything and got a ton of stuff off my registry! Overall, I’m very happy about the shower and actually more disappointed in my friends who couldn’t be better about showing up or at least giving firm “yes” and “no” about going beforehand.
Post # 15
Yeah, I didn’t have anyone at my shower except my aunts (my family is very “obligation” driven – meaning you go to these not because you want to but because they’re the proper way), and my MoH who made up some bogus ass lie to leave and go out to dinner with her bf, and my husband’s best woman. ALL the rest of my friends, NOPE. Nobody. It happens. I had a nice time anyway, and there was cake and presents and games that made my aunts laugh, so that was a plus. It sounds like she’s putting a lot of work into it to try to make it special for you, so I’d just go and enjoy. I’m sorry you won’t know anyone, though, that does make it hard. I felt so awkward being the center of attention, but..try to enjoy it anyway. <3
ETA: Glad that you had fun, just saw your update. Hate the no box around OP name thing, sorryyyyyyyy!