Post # 1
Seriously bummed. We invited 110 people. I was hoping for 60, expecting more like 40-50. It looks like we’ve got a whopping 25-30 guests.
I am sad. It’s a destination wedding, but it’s still in the US and a lot of my friends live all over the country anyway, so they would’ve had to buy a plane ticket to somewhere.
A lot of people said it’s just a “busy time”.
Can I scrap and start over? The money I’ve put down so far is a sunk cost. If I ditch the venue and plans I’ve made so far, I’ll be out about $8000. BUT I had been planning a pretty nice wedding with expensive decor and food. For 25 people?!?!?
I can easily throw together a lower-budget affair in my hometown next Spring/summer and still end up coming out around the same total cost for the entire wedding, PLUS my fiance and I will have more time to save money, and maybe even look for a house, instead of getting an apartment right away.
Most of the people who have RSVPed yes at this point are immediate family, so we can work with them on getting hotel refunds…etc.
I just know that if I have an in-town wedding next Spring or Summer, we’ll have 80-100 guests and it will be so fun!
I’m sad and frustrated and don’t know what to do. I always wanted a lovely beach wedding, but I had pictured it HAVING GUESTS. Ugh.
Post # 3
I’m sorry more people aren’t going to be able to make it but do you really want to put off getting married for a whole year? Since the money is already put in, can you go ahead with your plans for the 25 people and then plan for a 1 year anniversary party in your home town? That can be the reception you hoped for with more guests and you can renew your vows or something. Again I’m super sorry more people aren’t able to be there.
Post # 4
I guess I’d do the same thing as June- Have the wedding you’ve planned, try to cut back the cost of it as much as possible (which should be possible since you need less food / drinks / etc) and then save up for a big anniversary bash when you figure out when will be best for people to get together.
Don’t be discouraged. As long as the most important people can make it, you will still have a great day.
Post # 5
I would agree with June42011… and suggest that it might be a better idea to go on with your plans for the destination wedding on a beach that you want to have– especially since you’ve already put in a lot of money into it and just do a 1 year anniversary party in your home town later and try to plan a big reception for that event. I just worry because you mentioned that a lot of people you invited are all over the country so it seems like no matter where you have it lots of people you would like to invite would have to travel far– so I worry that you might be the same response even if you change the wedding to your hometown… the “busy time” might just be an excuse for not wanting to travel 🙁
Post # 6
I agree with the PPs….you are close enough to your date now that many of the people who said they are coming have probably already bought airfare and booked hotels. Plus, $8000 is a lot of money to give up! I think you should go ahead with it, but maybe try to tone down some of the costs if you can (maybe choose a cheaper meal?). You can still do a big reception locally next year if you wanted, and then hopefully you can include more friends that can’t make it to your currently planned wedding.
You will have a wonderful wedding, even if it is just 30 people! Don’t be discouraged – the people who really matter will be there 🙂
Post # 7
Can you reduce the package at the DW location? Also, what if you had a very casual gathering in your hometime later on in order to celebrate with those who were unable to attend? A backyard BBQ or something of that nature, that is inexpensive, but fun to share with your friends.
Post # 8
Yea throw a big extravaganza in a yr in your hometown (inexpensive extravaganza LOL) but stick to your plans.. It is so close… 8 grand is a lot to loose. Just try to down size it some…
Post # 9
If I were a guest that responded YES I would be really offended if you changed your plans because not enough people are coming. Why would you want people who are “busy” to come to your wedding anyway? The 25 who are coming think your wedding is a priority and want to be there for you.
Post # 10
Truth is, it’s the wedding I always wanted. It’s by the beach and we have lovely musicians and a stellar florist–it will be beautiful. I guess I had hoped to share it with more people, but that’s not the case. Our immediate families and closest friends will be there to appreciate it.
If I change the whole thing, there’s no guarantee that everybody would come anyway. Yeah, we’d get all the local people, but everyone else would still have to fly and get hotels.
Post # 11
I think it would be really rude to your other guests who’ve already spent money on hotels and plane tickets if you cancelled now. It’s likely that they would lose most of what they spent, especially on airfare.
Post # 12
Honestly, I would think 25 ppl, is a decent turn out for a DW. I realize that you invited 110. But if you have a DW and invite only 20, likely the percentage going would me much higher than 30%, because you’d only be inviting those who are very close to you. I think DWs often weed those not close to you out. (Of course some who are close to you might not be able to swing a DW…) So whether you invite 20 or 110, you tend to get those who are very close. But I’m basically talking out my ***, because I don’t really know DWs.
I agree with sticking with the original plan It still sounds like what you want to do.
Post # 13
I think youll have tons of fun…you’ll get a chance to party and hang out with everyone, and spend more quality time with your guests. Why don’t you try offering a post-wedding party locally, and use the money you’ve saved from the smaller attendance list?
Post # 14
not to be rude, but your wedding is at the start of most school years so it’s not like people can take a Friday & Monday off. If it was a long holiday…maybe more people would go.
I would be happy with the 25 people. Having more people there may be a plus, but you said that you have most immediate family & closest friends…shouldn’t that be enough? A wedding is not a popularity contest…have your dream wedding now, talk to your vendors and see if you can cut things down to save some money. Plan a home town reception at a time of year when most other people will be able to join you.
I have to change my dream location from Hawaii to Florida because of certain peoples money issues. I am changing it because I want the people that matter most to me to be there, not 40 other people that I want to entertain for the weekend.
Post # 14
Another suggestion…send out some more invites. Invite co-workers and friends of your family and kids…if you really want more people there. otherwise consider it intimate and scale back the venue, if possible.