Post # 1
I want to lose weight for a variety of reasons:
1. We are getting married in April!!! I want to look and feel my best especially since we splurged on the photographer.
2. Being overweight is causing problems with my female stuff (we will leave it at that).
3. We are planning on having kids soon after the wedding and I want to be in good shape for my kids and future husband.
4. I HATE the way I look and feel.
So I am motivated and have already lost 10lbs woo hoo.*This is long and can be skipped to the next asterick in you’d like Here is a little history on how I gained all this weight: Since 3rd grade I basically started starving myself but I was very sneaky about it. My parents worked a lot and I had been getting myself ready for school since the end of 1st grade. So I would skip breakfast, pack two slices of bread (so that my mom would think I was packing my lunch) and I would throw it away at lunch time. For dinner I would eat it when my parents where home but very little. My older sister lived on her own and when I visited her I didn’t eat at all, she finally told my mom who basically didn’t believe her but just as a precaution printed out some papers on anorexia. She just basically yelled at me and asked me if I wanted to grow hair in places it shouldn’t be like my chest. Not eating right continued on until half way through my Junior year in high school. When I started eating more regularly than normal I gained 40lbs in less than 6 months. I had a total break down when I realized somethings weren’t fitting. I then sunk into a deep depression and had issues (now looking back some SERIOUS issues), I dropped out of cheerleading and dance. My parents through all this were pretty oblivious to all this. My dad started noticing after a while and tried pushing me into therapy. By the time I graduated high school I had gained another 20 lbs, yuck. I got a job I loved at a bookstore and met dear FI. I was happy and started to lose the weight. My grandfather passed away and four months later my cousin passed away thus sending me back into a black pit of dispair (not as bad though). I started gaining weight and finally went to a therapist who was a QUACK. I lost a little weight once I started rebuilding my ground. I then followed FI to the other side of the state where I can’t find a job (gave up the one I had) and was away from friends and family. I have since gained back that weight and then some.*
Sorry for all that but it feels good to let it out. I haven’t really talked to anyone about this. It also helps me reflect and I can see I had issues lots and lots of issues.
Ok Present day:
I am about 80lbs over weight, have lost ten of that and am actively working at fixing that along with creating a more stable eating habit. If I could lose 10 more before trying on a dress and at least 20 more by the wedding I’d be happy. I am not hoping for a miracle here. I am just aiming for one with realistic ideas on what is more likely to happen. Losing half is a nice step.
I was at a family gathering last week and they were asking me about wedding stuff. The dress question came up and I told them that I was waiting until I’ve lost a little more weight. After that and several times since I have basically been smacked in the face with “Well you might not lose the weight” in different words each time. I was really taken back when my mom said a very similar thing to me. It hurts and makes me feel angry! You would think my mom would give a little support. I was hoping I could lose another 10-15 lbs before I tried on dresses.
I guess I am just feeling hurt and a little depressed about it.
Post # 3
I’m sorry they are being downers! You can lose weight if you work on keeping your diet under control. Good luck!
Post # 4
Wow! Don’t pay attention to what they say. You have time to lose weight and get your dress ordered. The only thing I would watch out for is ordering a dress that will be custom made or from a high end designer. Some of those dresses take a year to come in. Being as you don’t have a year I would stay away from those and keep up the good work!
Post # 5
I went through the same thing in junior high and into high school, when I started eating NORMAL portions, I gained 70 lbs. It was right after I had mono and felt tired all the time, I found out I have a thyroid condition as well. I have a couple of aunts that I confided in about my eating disorder and they brushed it off and said that I was fine and shouldn’t have stopped. I still am heavy and I feel terrible. Have you ever had your thyroid checked out? I understand the female issues, whenever I lose/gain weight I stop having my period. When I didn’t eat very much, I had maybe 3-4 cycles a year. So I completely understand what you’re going through. I want to lose weight before the wedding and feel great in my dress, and not feel terrible when I look through my pictures. My fiance loves me regardless of my weight, he just wants me happy. I wish your family was understanding and supportive. Good luck, my advice give yourself little goals and don’t focus too much on food. I find when I start counting calories, carbs, etc. it gets out of hand quickly. For me, I’m trying on dresses now and finding what will fit my body type now and if I lose weight it’ll still look fine.
The last piece of advice, love yourself. You are who you are regardless of how you look.
Post # 6
I think that they are trying to get you to actually go pick a dress out – depending on what dress you choose, it can take 6-9 months for a dress to come in…
so maybe they arent being mean maybe they are trying to get you to get a dress? Because if your Wedding is in April, you would want your dress to come in around February (just in case there are problems and the shipping date needs to be moved later) which means you have until about September at the LATEST to pick and order a dress…
I would give yourself a set date to when is the definate last moment you can order a dress (and still have time for alterations if needed) and use that as your guideline. That way if you lose the weight great, if not, you still have time to get a gorgeous dress in your size.
I know how you feel. im bigger than i wish i was, and went dress shopping about 8 months out and got my dress. i am now down to less than 50 days, and i have NOT lost the weight i would have liked but i know that i have a dress that looks gorgeous on me no matter what my size.
i work out every day, and i eat right, but if the pounds come off or not, i am okay with knowing i am doing my best. And i have a good alterations person just in case the weight DOES come off 🙂
Good luck in the weight loss. its NOT easy. Trust me i know.
Post # 7
I am so sorry that people are making you feel this way! It’s a rude thing to say, but oftentimes people just think they’re being helpful by giving others what they see as doses of reality.
And congrats on your weight loss so far! 10 pounds lost is a great achievement, no matter what anyone else says. I’ve found that when people are trying to lose weight they’ll come across a lot of haters and downers during the process. Just ignore, and use their words as motivation to show them that they’re wrong!
P.S. I have about the same amount to lose as you, so if you want a motivation buddy or just someone to vent to about the weight loss deal, feel free to PM me. 🙂
Post # 8
First of all, congratulations on losing ten pounds! Ten pounds might not seem like a lot in the grand scheme of things, but it’s a considerable amount to have already lost and you need to feel AMAZING about having lost that! I know myself that losing weight is not an easy feat, and when I hit the 10 pound mark I had a little party for myself. If you have already lost 10 pounds you can DEFINITELY lose more.
I wanted to lose some weight before my wedding, but I didn’t have a clear idea of the number of pounds I wanted to lose because thinking of losing a specific number has always held me back and prevented me from making a long-term lifestyle change. It always seemed so overwhelming to think “I have 40 pounds to lose. This is impossible.” When my fiance’s family found out I was trying to lose weight they started to talk about me behind my back and say that I couldn’t and wouldn’t lose the weight. Thankfully they never said it to my face but I always ended up hearing about it some way or another (my fiance’s nephew who is 5 years old even said something to me that he had OBVIOUSLY overheard an adult say). It made me want to give up because I have a hard time having faith in myself, and knowing that others don’t have faith in me crushes me.
I’ve learned to keep my weight loss something that I only discuss with my fiance because it’s something I’m very self conscious about and I’m very much hurt by the things others have said in the past. It’s weird, but I don’t even like other people pointing out that they notice I’ve lost weight. I’m embarassed when people say “Oh, you look like you’ve lost weight!” I don’t know why, but I always feel like I want to respond by saying “Shut up and worry about yourself!” I have been a happier person since I’ve started to exercise and eat a little healthier, but I realize that it has nothing to do with the way I look. In fact, I’ve lost 30 pounds and I don’t even notice a difference when I see myself in the mirror. I notice that I fit into smaller clothes now, but I don’t “feel” any smaller. I’ve been happier since I’ve started losing weight because I found exercise to be a great stress reducer and I love the endorphines I get while working out. I also like having more energy because I’m eating less sugar and processed foods. I kind of had to realize that being healthier was something I was doing for myself on the inside (rather than trying to look different on the outside), and I have to keep it a really private thing in order to stay committed to it.
Post # 9
I hope I’m not offending you when I say that it seems like you have a lot of emothional issues with food. I would really recommend that you see a dietitian/nutritionist to help you lose weight and be healthy simultaeously.
Living well is the best revenge. Don’t listen to the people who put you down and don’t feel pressured to buy a dress until you are ready. While you should probably do it sometime in October, that still gives you 3+ month to work on your goals.
Post # 10
I always think when others are too critical about weight, it makes it so much harder to maintain a healthy lifestyle, especially when that’s not what you’re used to. Congratulations on your weight loss and don’t take other’s negative opinions too personally. Don’t worry so much about the numbers and just keep working on yourself. I’m sure you’ll look beautiful on your wedding day regardless!
Post # 11
I don’t mean to get too personal, but what happened during/around 3rd grade that triggered your food restrictions . . . and what happened in and around the time that you started to act in an opposite manner (eating instead of restricting)? You gained weight at an alarming rate, i.e., 40 pounds in less that 6 months (that’s more than 6 pounds per month), 20 pounds the next year, etc., and you associated your gains to personal/emotional issues (as opposed to a medical issue), but you didn’t identify why you started restricting in the first place. My intent is not to have you answer the question(s) here on the boards (unless you feel it might be helpful), it really is just something for you to think about.
For most of us, what we’re eating is not nearly as important as *why* we’re eating. And if food isn’t the problem, then it can’t be the answer . . .
Post # 12
Don’t feel bad. I have been there. I was thin all the way until my junior year of high school and then my body decided to turn anything I ate into fat. I lost some and gained some since I graduated 5 years ago. I am now about 50 lbs from my goal weight of 135!! (I am only 5 foot 3) My mom tells me ALLLLLLL the time that I am fat, and since I moved about 150 miles away, she only sees me 1 weekend a month when I drive home to do wedding things. She tells me a lot that I am fat, but I still went and tried on dresses at David’s Bridal. I found one that makes me feel amazing even at this size, (I had a corset bra on and a slip) so she bought it while it was on sale… and I don’t look like a blimp. I have decided that I still want to lose weight, and her making fun of me, makes me want to lose it more. Even though FI loves me the way I am. I was actually about 15 lbs heavier than I am now when we first met.
If you ever need a friend to talk to, I am always an open ear, just PM me, I try to check on here at least 1 time a day!!!
Post # 13
Thanks everyone for your support. I was feeling frustrated with letting myself get this way and angry that people in my family don’t think I can lose weight. Now I am feeling like I am going to lose weight and show them (still angry too)!
beekiss2 I just recently had my thyroid checked and my test results came back normal.
spaganya I was planning on ordering my dress no later than September. I do think they were just trying to get me to get a dress but it continued on past that conversation. I figured if I could lose maybe 10 more pounds before I went it would help.
MissCosmopolitan Those are some good questions. I honestly have no idea what triggered my decision to not eat breakfast or my lunch routin. I do remember when it dawned on me that I could just through my lunch away at school and my parents would be none the wiser. I felt bad about wasting food and later decided that if I just took two pieces of bread instead of making a sandwich or taking anything else. I did develope VERY early and very fast. I also always felt like I was fat, very fat now that I am when I look back at pictures or think about my weight when I was younger I was not fat at all. My aunt would call my sister Bubble Butt and me Bertha Butt, and my sister just recently told me I have always been fat. That stung!
I have a lot of self evaluation to do. Thanks.
Post # 14
@Engaged_With_Love: They’re just debbie downers. If you believe you can do it, then go for it! And next time they say something awful go “Hey, I believe I can do it and would appreciate more support. If you can’t support me in this, don’t say anything.”
Post # 15
I did the same thing as a teen and after high school I started eating and went from 125 to about 220 over the course of 5 years. (I’m 5’10”.)
After beginning a regimen of diet and exercise and figuring out what works for me, I’ve been a healthy and comfortable 150-160 ever since.
You can find plenty of support online. We’re just words on your computer screen, but I found a lot more support online during my dieting than I ever did in person.