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Honestly, I don't think the general public really knows about OOT bags. I think it's something that's just now becoming popular and if you don't want to do them, don't have tme to do them, or can't afford to do them....it will be just fine. I don't think it's an important part of the wedding experience...more of an extra. I think you will be just fine without them.
Ok, I would not be offended....but I would definitely notice. OOT bags are important to me (as the bride and as the guest) But, I've seen a lot fo girls on here who don't even think twice about foregoing them! I think it's a very nice gesture if you have the time, but if it causes you that much more stress--nix it.
I actually agree with JamaicaBride. I have never been to a destination wedding so I can't speak from experience. I do think they are nice to have but not a necessity. My parents have gone to plenty of weddings and there was only 1 that they attended that they received an OOT bag. They were surprised to receive it and thought it was a cool idea which got me interested in making some for our wedding guests since almost half were OOT.
Before reading the weddingbee, I had never heard of an OOT bag. Even after reading here, I would not expect or be offended with not receiving one. I am also having a destination wedding and not doing OOT bags. I am 100% sure my guests would much rather I provide them with additional entertainment than spend the money on a bag of "stuff". I figure my guests will already be bringing their own maps, sunscreen, etc., etc., etc., and don't need me to provide it.
Ugh, your sister's attitude bothers me. I say forgo them if you're stressed, or else go to Michaels and pick up some paper bags, go by the visitors center and pick up some maps, and throw in some little baggies of goldfish or whatever and a couple of bottles of water, maybe a couple of postcards and hand them out at a pre-wedding event. If you're not having one... just ditch them.
I don't think it is really a big deal if you don't do them. How destination are we talking? If it's really a place where people might not have a clue about what to do in the area other than the wedding, then maybe even something small like a folder of information and a thank you card would be nice. If your guests are coming just for the wedding and just for a night, then I don't think they are necessary.
What about another family member? Have you asked anyone else what they think? Like an aunt or your mom?
I told myself no DIY projects in the last two months up to the wedding. You definitely need to relax and not worry. Your wedding will be your vacation too! At the least, the hotel staff should be able to direct any guest to things to do.
Sidenote, I'm super surprised you girls hadn't really heard of OOT bags prior to getting into wedding planning. Makes me wonder if it's a location-thing. In my area, it's somewhat expected. I think a lot of details are like that. If it's not common in your area or in your family, then I say "forget 'em!"
So your sister is expecting you to do something extra but refusing to help you?
OOT bags are unnecessary. I think as long as you can supply everyone a map of the area so they know where to find toilets, Tylenol, and beaches, they're fine. People know how to pack their own bottled water and soaps and whatever pointless stuff is supposed to go in an OOT bag.
Just my two cents. :)
I agree with the other girls. I went to one wedding where I was given OOT bags, where it was a nice surprise, it wasn't expected. I think if you didn't give them out, no one would be disappointed. And, also never heard of this being a "popular" until I started reading wedding blogs.
While I have never attended a destination wedding, I have been an OOT guest many times. Never once heard of or seen an OOT bag before hearing about them on WB. Can't say that I or anyone else has been offended by not receiving one, nor can I imagine why anyone would be offended.
@VirginiaMarie - I found during the wedding planning process there were a heck of a lot of things mentioned in the hive that I never saw at a wedding or even heard of. It may be a location thing but I actually don't know.
@LaborofLove
You said, "...go to Michaels and pick up some paper bags, go by the visitors center and pick up some maps, and throw in some little baggies of goldfish or whatever and a couple of bottles of water, maybe a couple of postcards..."
I am not picking on you at all when I say this ;), but if I got something like that as a wedding guest, I would totally be thinking, wth? LOL. It's just that - as an adult - I have never been handed a paper bag (even a pretty patterned one) with a map, crackers, and bottled water inside of it for any reason. I dunno...maybe I live a sheltered life? :)
@Roddy--- YEAH! I think so. I am finding this too. But I guess that's to be expected. All different brides, from all different families, states, and walks of life. OOT bags are probably just one of those things...
Honestly I never understood why people do them. I always throw away the maps, and I look up things to do and places to go before I get there. I say no one would be offended and if they are thats too bad for them! You don't need the added stress, enjoy this time!
LOL at Blackcherry you are so right! I dunno I was just thinking path of least resistance but d*mn that sounds random when you put it like that! :) haha I just got a good laugh for the night, thanks
Thanks ladies! I knew I could count on the bees for good advice!
Yeah, my sister's attitude about this issue is less than ideal. But she's a very generous person in other ways, so it all evens out in the wash.
@Laboroflove - handing them out at a pre-wedding event is a great idea! I hadn't thought of that, but am thinking it's a good way to deal with this. My sister had insisted that the gift bags should be delivered to guests' accommodations. In her mind, the point is that guests should have some form of refreshment available other than the minibar when they arrive from the airport. I just don't think that's going to happen.
+@Blackcherry - had to laugh at this too, because the bottled water was one of the things my sis mentioned specifically as an important item. :)
@Whitesonnet - the destination is Honolulu. It's pretty darned easy to find things to do there, and there's tourist information available *everywhere*.
I haven't asked other people what they think. I know my mother would just tell me to do whatever I think is right.
Just my 2 cents - I had never heard of them before wedding planning, and wouldn't think twice about it as a guest. LOL @ Blackcherry/LaborOfLove. I did go to a wedding (Cherry Pie's actually) where the bride left folders for the guests at the hotel. We got them when we checked in - the front desk clerk gave it to us. The folder had a little timeline and some info about the area - touristy stuff to do and see, etc. I think some info about the couple too. I am unsure if she blogged about the folders but it seems like a lower-key alternative to an OOT bag.
@laboroflove....girl you had me reminiscing about school field trips in elementary school....LOL. All I could think about was a brown bag lunch after I read your post....I had to throw my head back and laugh at that....thanks for the laughter.
I've only received one, and that was for a wedding in Key West. It was nice, but I didn't expect it. It was necessary for the itinerary, but if you've already included all info, it's not necessary.
I've never gotten an OOT bag and had never heard of them until I started planning my own wedding. I'd never be offended if I didn't get one.
It makes very little sense to me for you to have OOT bags if guests are staying all over the place. That's way too much work.
I don't even know what an OOT bag is!!!! So I would definitely not be offended :)
no i wouldn't be offended. I would notice that I hadn't received one but I wouldn't be mad.
Hahaha I am so glad someone else found it funny or I would be really embarassed! and for what it's worth, i meant the nice paper bags... LOL that sounds even worse, "nice" paper bags!
Wow, I think its time to bow out gracefully. But I do hope you find a good solution, and I think the pre-wedding event would be a great way to do it! Honestly if I'm hungry and traveling, the first thing I do is go scout out a restaurant and have a REAL meal, not like, um... crackers and bottled water. :)
I am chiming in b/c I have been worrying about this myself - my wedding is in vegas and everyone will be staying all over the place and I cannot imagine delivering OOT bags to everyone - that would take a full day at least!!
Then I was thinking I'd give them out at the welcome event but I'm having trouble imaginging what people will do with them if they want to go out after (we're planning a coed "bachelor"party - it's Vegas so I am sure that's what everyone will do. I even got a cute idea for them on WB but logistically I don't know.
Anyway, my personal take after um, stressing about this very same issue is that I got an OOT bag once - a very nice and elaborate one at that where the bag alone must have cost 20 dollars. I had never seen this before and I did not really understand what the bag was for. I thought it was nice and all but I wasn't super impressed and I would not have missed it.
It's an extra! So I'm in the same boat as you girl. My wedding is one week after yours, and that's exactly how I'm feeling now. If I have time I will do them (we have a handful of OOT guests though), if not, oh well, the world isn't going to end.
If you dont feel like doing them dont especially if no one wants to help you!!...im still up in the air about doing mine : /
No I wouldn't be offended. The majority of ppl don't even know about them.
I wouldn't be offended. Some of the weddings we go to have them, and we had them at ours, but it's not expected. It's just a nice "extra". If it's going to stress you out, I would just skip them.
I wouldn't be offended at all. I've never been to a destination wedding, but I've attended my fair share of out of state weddings and never got anything...nor did I expect to. And like many, before WB I never even knew about them!
Before I got into wedding planning, I had no idea what an OOT bag was either! And I have lived in a lot of places and have been to a few weddings so I don't feel like I am TOTALLY off, and have been a bridesmaid at wedding that was OOT for most people and there were no OOT bags there, either. Don't worry! It's an extra!
And this:
My sister, who is my MOH and my only bridesmaid, refuses to help me in any capacity. She says that she's spending a lot of money to come to the wedding, and wants to enjoy her vacation.
That is totally ridic of her, IMO, because if SHE is spending so much money and wants to enjoy herself, um, what about YOU!? She's being selfish.
My advice: you don't need it and it's going to cause you a lot of undue stress! I had a DW and did not have OOT bags and not a single person noticed/cared/would have known what they were.
AND, I arrived at my destination 5 days before my wedding and did not have a single spare moment. Don't give yourself another thing to do leading up to the wedding that will just stress you out! I believe your guests will appreciate time spent with you way more than a bag of stuff. : )
I definitely wouldn't be offended...but, I would say that with guests traveling far to come to your wedding that doing an OOT bag would be a nice gesture. It's certainly not expected or required but I'm sure many people won't have done a ton of research beforehand (I'm thinking of older relatives that aren't online for 12 hours a day 
like me and my younger guests) and sometimes it's nice to hear a recommendation from someone who's opinion you know and respect instead of just a concierge or tourist map. I think either way, you'll be perfectly fine...just figured I'd throw in a different opinion since I'll probably be in the minority. 
Thanks for all your input bees! I appreciate it! I am considering doing welcome baskets for some guests - the ones I think would need/appreciate either a snack or some extra information when they arrive. Some of them I know couldn't care less - e.g. the single guys.
Great thread. I totally agree re: the OOT bag NOT being a necessity. I've been to plenty of out of town weddings, where I stayed in hotels, and never got any kind of welcome gift. I agree with you 100%. I had OOT bags on my list of "nice to do" but as we approach the one month mark for our wedding, I'm starting to think more and more that they are going to be at the end of the listl and my LAST priority. There are soooo many other, more important things to which your attention needs to go.
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Hi ladies,
So my destination wedding is coming up in a month. I'm wavering about doing OOT bags. I don't really want to do them, but my sister (who is Martha Stewart's secret clone, minus the jail time) insists that I must have them.
Thing is, I'm exhausted. My work has been very demanding lately. I'm up to date with my wedding planning, but I'm depleted and I look like hell right now. I'd like some R&R time before I have to start dealing with guests, so I can take some time to exercise, eat properly and try to get myself back to my normal, cute self.
It's not so much the OOT bags themselves as driving all over town to deliver them - most of our guests are not staying at our venue hotel. My sister, who is my MOH and my only bridesmaid, refuses to help me in any capacity. She says that she's spending a lot of money to come to the wedding, and wants to enjoy her vacation. Fair enough (despite the fact that I traveled across the country and took a week off to do slave labor for her wedding four years ago).
I don't really care whether she wants to help me or not. But if you were a wedding guest, would you be offended if you showed up at a destination wedding and did not receive an OOT bag?