No paper invitation? (poll)

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How would you feel if you got an e-invitation instead of a paper invite?
    Offended : (25 votes)
    14 %
    Would think you're cheap, but would understand : (85 votes)
    49 %
    Wouldn't care : (43 votes)
    25 %
    Love it- save your money : (21 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    1955 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If I were you I’d consider these things:

    What are your expectations for your event?  If you have expectations of a venue with fancy dress for guests, elaborate food, live band, etc., then I think you need to send the types of invitations that match all that, and I think those invitations would have to be (nice) paper ones. 

    Do you have many older guests who might be frustrated by the technology of an e-invite and response?  I am always surprised at the ways in which technology that appears easy to me can cause frustration and embarassment to my–very smart–older friends.  What is intuitive to people in one age group may not be to another.


    Post # 5
    1955 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @SleepyBee99:  My sense, from reading various etiquette message boards (it’s a bad habit–gives me just enough knowledge to be a danger but not enough to be a total expert) is that an e-invitation is generally taken as an indicator of a very casual reception.  If that worries you, I would stick with paper invitations. 

    Again, this is just one person’s opinion/view of the matter!

    Post # 6
    1340 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @SleepyBee99:  We sent out online invitations through Paperless Post! Worked out beautifully! I really do not care if anyone thought we were “cheap” or tacky. They were beautiful and we were able to print out 10 for non-web savvy guests. Also, super easy to keep track of RSVP’s!

    People are doing this more and more. I say go for it.

    Post # 7
    8847 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    @SleepyBee99:  YO!  I sent invites through Paperless Post, and I got tons of compliments on how cute and easy they were.  They have some really attractive options and you can pay a little bit to further design them to your specifications.  

    I think PP is right that you really need to think about the tone it sets.  For us, we’re having a semi-casual, colorful, FUN wedding, and our particularly invites really fit those specifications.  Everyone we invited is quite tech-savvy, so that wasn’t a problem either.  And our guests are all just laid-back, fun, easygoing people who don’t think much about “proper etiquette” or whatever.

    Who knows, maybe some people thought we were being cheap, but they aren’t wrong, so whatever!  We’re spending 16 grand on this awesome/dumb wedding, so I was happy to only spend $40-50 on invites.

    ETA: I highly doubt that from getting our invite, people will automatically think our wedding is casual enough to wear jeans to.  I don’t think that is a reasonable link at all.  But I can update you in a week and two days! 😀

    Post # 8
    1340 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @MarriedToMyWork:  We didn’t have one person show up to our wedding in casual dress. Not one. And we didn;t specify a dress code, either.

    Post # 10
    1721 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I think evites are great…for bday parties or get togethers…even baby showers.  However; I feel that weddings are a more formal event, and therefore should get a more formal invite.  You can find nice invites for pretty good prices if you look (as long as you aren’t looking for over the top/extravagent invites).  I found really affordable ones at Anne’s Bridal Bargains.  I like the simple, elegant styles, which worked out pricewise in our favor. 

    On the other hand if I recieved an evite I’d probably be like huh, ok..and then not really think twice about it. LOL I just personally would not do the evites.  You should have to figure out what is best for you 🙂

    Post # 11
    1955 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I still can’t quite get a sense of the type of event the OP is considering (“small” weddings can be very fancy).  I would maintain that if OPs event is in the evening/at an upscale venue/guests expected to dress up/etc., then paper invites are both more appropriate and also a safer choice.  If these conditions don’t hold, then e-invitations might be an appropriate fit.

    Post # 13
    3442 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I got free paper invites with a e-RSVP page & wedding website from this website called

    The invites weren’t super duper awesome (they were decent), but they got the job done & they gave me 100 for free, so I think it was a win-win.

    Obviously, that doesn’t save you on postage to send them, but with the e-RSVP system that the guests RSVP to themselves, it makes it easy for you to keep track of everything & not pay any additional postage for guests to return their RSVPs.

    Something to look into..

    Post # 14
    21 posts
    • Wedding: January 2014

    We’re having a very low-key wedding with 6 guests. I invited them by word of mouth to begin with, but saw a design I loved. There was no point mailing them, especially as 4 of the guests live together (family), so I just uploaded the design to Facebook and tagged them all. They thought it was pretty!

    Post # 15
    785 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    Both my sisters just straight up made a facebook event 🙂 Because it was a destination wedding, the travel agent had official numbers 6 months before! It just made sense haha no one in my family could care less. When I see a 7 piece invite all I think about it how much the damn thing cost lol

    Post # 16
    102 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I want to do paperless invites so badly! I think I’m being outvoted by fiance and my family though:( I think it should be fine. I’d print out a few for Grandparents or relatives that might want to have it as a keep sake. I seriously do not understand why invites are so expensive. It’s crazy

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