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So you don't want people to bring their phones or cameras to the ceremony or reception? Honestly, I'd be a little peeved if I went all the way to Jamaica and I was asked to leave my cameras behind - the photographers won't be getting any of the pictures I necessarily want since they'll be focused on photos that YOU want. If I'm going to Jamaica with my Hubby, I'll be taking pictures of us!
I'm having an unplugged wedding ceremony, and I think it's a great idea. So many people are always so absorbed in "catching the moment" that they become disconnected from the moment completely! I want my guests to be completely present during our ceremony.
Because I am asking guests to put down their cameras during the ceremony (I've put a note about it on my website, in our program and our pastor is also going to mention it), I am going to be posting all the photos from the ceremony for download on our wedding website and/or sending burned CDs of all the images for those who can't/won't download them.
I am having a "plugged in" reception though.
I voted I would still take pictures. I would respect your wishes at the ceremony but asking me not to take pictures for the entire evening (weekend?) would annoy me. Your photographer is being paid to photograph you and your family primarily. I want pictures of my friends/DH as well.
I don't honestly think you can control if someone brings a camera or not, unless you are having security frisk every single guest. I agree with the PP I would be be peeved if asked to do this.
Besides I know for ours a lot of fun shots and cute shots were actually from our guests!
@Navy_Wife: exactly. I think an unplugged ceremony is one thing because you want people to be focused on the act of your marriage instead of getting the best shot. But I think saying leave them in the room for the whole wedding is a little ridiculous. Your wedding is also a fun event in my life so therefore I want to have pictures of it from my perspective! I said I would be peeved and I would take pictures anyways, not during the ceremony but definitely before or after!
Are you just not allowing pictures or you and your groom or are you not allowing pictures at all???
Because I would definitely want to get pictures of myself, my hubby and my friends I am having fun with at your wedding that your photographer is likely not to get. I also enjoy getting pictures of the bride and groom myself but I would respect the request not to put them on social networking sites. I also enjoy getting my picture with the bride and groom at the reception will you not allow that either?
As a guest, I would totally respect the bride and groom's wishing on this. But I would never want this for my own wedding.
I don't think that taking pictures necessarily prevents guests from "missing the moment." And a lot of the time, we're getting pictures the photographers aren't. The last wedding I went to, my FI and I spent a lot of time catching up with old friends we hadn't seen in a really long time. And yes, we took lots of pictures of us together at our tables, dancing on the floor, and just hanging out. I really cherish these pictures, and the photographer only captured one of our group photos, so a lot of these moments would have been completely missed (photographically speaking) if we didn't have our cameras.
Its a great idea!
but I would be maybe slightly offended just because as a guest, I would like the courtesy of phone usage and to take my own pictures If I choose to bring a camera or device for capturing those moments.
I even take issue with the fact that people worry about me being "focused" on their ceremony. I'm an adult, if I want to daydream during your ceremony then its my business.
It works for certain kinds of couples and guests. I find that articles on OBB don't really translate well on the mainstream wedding sites like WB and others.
I think it's a great idea. People are constantly on their phones and it's annoying. I wouldn't ask people to leave them at home, but to leave them in their pockets once the ceremony starts. I wouldn't care about the rest of the day and the reception.
I just don't want people up and moving around during the ceremony to take photos or a photo of all of our guests on their phones during our vows.
@LGenz: I agree with you whole heartedly. Sometimes I get really bored during ceremonies and if I want to take a picture of the pretty bird in the palm tree I will.
@LGenz: It's one thing to quietly daydream during the ceremony, it's another to be texting on your phone or interupting the ceremony with your digital camera's clicks, beeps and flashes or getting in the real photographers' ways. I suppose I can't prevent guests from not caring about my ceremony, but I don't think it's too much to ask for that they at least sit quietly for 30 minutes. If you won't even do that as a guest, seriously why come if it means that little to you?
I started a thread about this a while back. I just finished a photographer's memoir in which she expressed annoyance that people holding up their phones to take pictures and video was hurting the shots the photographer was trying to take. All those arms in the air and the flashes mess up things for the formal pictures.
I don't think my crowd is the type to be waving cell phones in the air, so I hope I don't have to address this.
My thread: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/yay-or-naysign-requesting-cell-phones-turned-off
interesting, I like the idea of not having anyone post pictures of the wedding on twitter or facebook. just because I don't like sharing pictures on my own FB page and something as personal as the wedding I wouldn't want posted on FB. Especially since we're having a immediate family only wedding I don't want to hear any complaints from anyone commenting on pictures as to why they weren't invited.
Our photographer has a clause in her contract that she is the sole photographer at the event , but she says its okay for guest to take photos at the reception. Which I am okay with.
@deathbydesign: I was referring to the "quiet daydreaming" part. Sometimes I get the feeling that brides try to micromanage their guests emotions/experience. Thats overkill. Of course, I won't be playing angry birds with the volume turned up during the ceremony.
ETA: Also, if I had guests texting on their phones during my ceremony I had absolutely no clue. My photographer actually apologized after our ceremony for being all up in our business and I was like "What are you talking about?" I was completely focused on my DH and our vows.
Just to add to my original post - if you weren't having a DW I wouldn't care as much. But when will I be back in Jamaica?
I don't agree with not letting guests have their cameras - at least not for the reception. As far as phones go, I'm putting in the program that cellphones should be turned off and put away. I want my guests to have their cameras though because (like PPs said) they should be able to take pictures with their friends and FH and me. The photographer will only be focused on you, FH, and the wedding party, and maybe a few candid shots of the dance floor. I think it's unfair for guests to have to leave their phone and camera in the room for the whole evening - especially when they are in Jamaica!!!! That might be the only time they ever go! If my wedding was in Jamaica, I would want everyone to have a camera so that we can have a truckload of memories :-)
FWIW, I have a very good camera and I sent photos to the last few couples I saw married the day after the wedding. I imagined that they'd come home to the envelope, which would tide them over until their pro-pics arrived.
@LGenz: I was going to say this same thing. Honestly, maybe brides think that they are going to notice people playing with their cameras or phones, but when I was up there saying my vows, the only thing that I noticed was my husband!
@Jeannine @ Small Chic: I was going to say this too. I have gone to several weddings where I've emailed my pics to the bride a few days after the wedding and I can't tell you how grateful they were! One of my friends used one of my pics as her profile picture until she got her pro photos back!
OK LET ME CLARIFY A LITTLE...AND GIVE SOME BACKGROUND..
We are having a private ceremony with 35 people. We are mainly asking for people not to take pictures during the ceremony and after the ceremony when we are doing our formal shots on the beach.
Also, no pictures at the ceremony will avoid my photog getting that picture that was on the blog, you know- the one where I walk down the aisle and everyone is standing looking at me through their phones and cameras.. its just an ugly ass picture.
Yes, I untagged myself on FB so no one can see any pictures that someone might try and tag me in. Basically, when we return a week later I don't want a bunch of people commenting on and seeing my wedding before I get a chance to look myself or post pictures that I want people to see, thats all.
Yes, they can take pics at the reception, thats fine. I just don't want them posted online.
No- I am not trying to micro-manage my guests but also I think it is highly disrespectful for people to not just enjoy the wedding but be so eager to take pictures and upload them to social networking sites without thinking about what the bride and groom would want, that's all.
Oh also.. not sure which of you said it... but I totally don't care if you take pictures of anything else (friends, decor, reception stuff, Jamaica in general.. ) It was moreso for the actual ceremony and posed photos. I hate people who stand behind a photog and snap a picture of posed shots, to me, it's rude.
Also, we have a huge gap in between our ceremony and reception so anyone who would like to go and get their cameras during the down time is more than welcome.
An unplugged ceremony is reasonable, flashes and clicks might be annoying, but I think you have to let them have their say on what they photograph after the ceremony and as long as they don't disturb your paid photographer while he/she is taking pictures, there shouldn't be a problem. People enjoy taking pictures, and they will almost always capture something amazing that you would have otherwise missed if they didn't have their camara.
I totally agree with you on that picture where you walk down the isle and there's like 50 cameras pointed at the bride, haha! Always looks silly. I voted that I would be miffed and also still take pictures, but that was before you said it was ceremony only! If you told me to put a cap on the camera for the ceremony I'd be totally chill with that, but yea the reception (especially in Jamaica!) I'd be photo whoring it up!
I think this is a little much. Like others have said, you won't even notice people taking these pictures. I would understand requesting that no pictures be taken while the professionals are shooting, that is rude, but some of the shots our guest got are at a better angle then our photographers'.
Oops, I voted that it's offensive before I saw that you put it as ceremony only. I would definitely understand you asking people to please not facebook your wedding pictures if that's something that is important to you. Personally, I wouldn't care but I wouldn't blame a bride who did. It would be a little ridiculous to try and control reception pictures of course, but I'm picturing a nice photo of a bride coming down the aisle with everyone looking at her, no one taking pictures... that would look so nice! Too bad I come from a long line of paparazzi aunts...
No matter what, i would respect the wishes of the bride and groom. But i would be annoyed at not being able to take pictures since its something I love to do and most guests usually dont really get accesss to the pro photos. I would understand a lot more for the ceremony than for the reception or the rest of the weekend.
I would never do this for my wedding because i want as many photos as possible. The photog cant be everywhere, and sometimes guests can capture moments that the bride and groom otherwise would not see. My FBIL hired a very expensive and reputable photographer, and the 2nd shooter lost the memory card of the guys getting ready. So the only photos they have of that time are a few phone photos taken by the bridal party.
We are only inviting people close to us and who care enough about us to actually pay attention to the main event. If i was concerned about someone being too distracted by their phone or camera to enjoy my wedding, I wouldnt invite them. But everyone is different so if it works for you and your guests, more power to you :)
I'm onbaord with you OP about people not postings pics on social networking sites before you do. I'm having a DW as well. I am going to ask people not to post pics online until after we get back. We are having a reception with all of our guests and we would really like to be the first ones to share our pictures, not have them plastered all over facebook before we get back from our honeymoon.
I also think the no pictures during the ceremony is a good idea. It lets people focus on the ceremony. I do however agree with PPs that at the reception cameras should be fair game.
As a guest, I'd be okay with not posting the pics, but I'd probably still take a few anyway.
I would dislike the request for the ceremony (I'm an adult and can make my own choices/decisions. Plus, as PPs mentioned, often times guests capture things that the pros miss), but I would respect it.
I would absolutely take pictures at the reception though, no matter what the bride says. I want pictures of my and my friends, SO, etc and the pro photographer isn't going to be taking those.
I see OP's point. I think it is a person's personal choice to be photographed or not. IMO, some peole just take horrible pictures. So, a few days after the wedding I jump on Facebook and all of my friends have seen all my friends's blurry/red-eye/double chin photographs of me and FI? Not cool. I think it should be a bride and groom's choice what is posted on social networking sites and whatnot. If someone asks you to not take a photo of them because they prefer to not be photographed, and you do so anyway, I think that's rude. It is not difficult to sit without your phone/camera for a half hour.
I wouldn't be offended, but you would take away some of my enjoyment and fun in the wedding by telling me that I couldn't take pictures. I LOVE taking pictures, and telling me that I can't is kinda taking away a part of me.
I'd respect your wishes, but I have to say that I'd be disappointed heavily in your choice.
I don't think your request is too extreme. I think its a great idea for the ceremony. That way your guests can be focused on the ceremony and not trying to take pics. I have attended a few weddings where folks took pics at the ceremony and quickly posted them on FB. The reception would be fair game for pics for me. I am going to ask people not to post pics online until after we get back from our honeymoon.
Celebrities have weddings where they don't allow cameras, why not you?
I think a "No taking photos during the ceremony please" rule is just fine. I noticed people pulling out the cameras at my 26 guest wedding and I was annoyed. All my "down the aisle" photos have people taking pictures! I mean really people, you are going to take a better shot than the photographer with the $8,000 camera? We also had guests taking photos behind the pro photogs during the family photo time slot. So all the kids were looking at Mom and Dad instead of the $2k lens. And all the adults were looking different directions. All this despite my "Look at the expensive cameras please!" pleas.
I think your wording may need to clarify as you did above. The way you have it worded it sounds like "No taking pictures the whole weekend" instead of "No posting photos on social networking sites of the ceremony and reception." There is a huge difference that probably accounts for all the PPs who are offended by it.
Disclaimer: I asked my bestie if I could post photos online before I posted any photos online. And I ended up opting to upload them to a website and sending the logon info to her and the other BMs instead of posting it on my FB.
@MightySapphire: Yea I am going to re-word the business card insert and put the shutterfly info on it too.
Thanks everyone..
I don't mind pics during the reception or anything else going on that weekend. My stankness (fiance's word) is just on the ceremony and our posed pics. But absolutely no posting on social networks. I'm not budging on that one!
I would scrap the part about banning cameras and phones, but just ask that no one post anything to facebook. But seriously, in this day and age, some people will have someone take a nice picture of them at your wedding and want to post it to facebook to share, esp since they are at a destination and facebook is a way to communicate over long distances.
@Cupcake1382: I think you ideas is great and if you want it go for it. And as PP said celebs have unplugged so why can't you. You are THE CELEB on you wedding day. And it is your day.
Also, I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR PROGAMS!!!! If you don't mind could I get the template for them!
Some of my favourite candid pictures were from my guests. I didn't notice any of them taking pictures during the wedding, with one exception at cake cutting time, and cherished their pictures.
I actually opted to make my own photobook with a combo of pro pics and guest pictures for our families.
I can understand the no phones during the actual ceremony, but I think I would be peeved at the rest. Most of my friends and distant relatives will not get copies of our pictures.
I can understand no cameras/phones during the ceremony. That makes sense. However at the reception people should be able to do whatever they want. That's not the formal part of the festivities, plus you're in a foreign country. They should be able to post photos online if they want, but only of their friends/family, not you if you don't want them to.
@Cupcake1382: I totally understand the FB stuff I don't think people should post pics with asking first anyways. I have a few shoots that I hate by the way on FB that someone took it upon themself to post. That's just rude!
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Anyone besides me having an unplugged wedding? I ran across this blog about "Unplugged Weddings" and fell in LOVE! As an event planner so many times guests are not really enjoying the wedding because they are too busy snapping away.
So I knew for my destination wedding in Jamaica I was having it unplugged. No cameras, no phones- just enjoy my wedding! Here is the article with some helpful ways to word it:
http://offbeatbride.com/2011/06/unplugged-wedding
Here is a picture of our program and welcome packet. We added a small paragraph reminding guests of our request, the paragraph with the Shutterfly info is on the Saturday insert on our Welcome Packet.
Here is the wording for our Saturday (wedding day) insert:
We kindly and respectfully ask that no pictures of the wedding day be posted to any social networking sites (Facebook, Twitter etc.) Two AMAZING photographers will be covering the festivities the entire weekend and you will have plenty of pictures at your disposal. Please leave your camera and phones in your room and enjoy our special day. We would like to be the first to reveal our day to our friends and family who could not make it to Jamaica. If you have other pictures from the excursion, rehearsal dinner or anything else from the weekend please upload them to Shutterfly with the username ______ and password_______.