Post # 1
Ladies, I feel bad.
My FI and I decided long ago on a simple small wedding and due to just family size we’re already at 75 people invited, our wedding is in 6 weeks. I’ve gotten over RSVP, if they don’t do it they don’t come easy enough.
My problem now is this, my FI thinks his buddy can have a plus one. His buddy has been on soo many dates with us its like he’s in our relationship, and I’m not complaining, he’s a fun dude who I really enjoy. Its just that this girl he’s bringing I’ve only met officially once, she used to work in my eye doctors offic which is funny but neither FI or I know her well. She’s not dating his friend but its like a they both want to but not really thing….I’m not sure if his buddy or my FI gave the okay on her coming,
to our intimate, no expense spared because we love them and want to give our family/closest friends the best wedding as possible. Its 100 a person! I’m frantic because to me, that’s what I made in a week busting it as a waitress so its soo hard to spend that on someone I don’t really even know!
I talked to FI this morning before I left because its been bothering me since they told me LAST NIGHT. I asked him if he knew how much it was a person, he didn’t. I asked him if we’re really having only the people we really love/love us there, he did. So then I asked him why she’s coming. He immediatly copped an attitude and made me feel like I was being a bridezilla, AGAIN.
I don’t think she’s been asked but even if she has I’m not okay with it. I didn’t ask a few people I would have liked to come because it was really only close family and friends…
I’m MAD, but I feel guilty and upset because I don’t want her there, not because I don’t like her, she seems nice and sweet but I DON’T KNOW HER. Neither does FI, she’s NOT in a relationship with his friend and even if she was I wouldn’t because its married/engaged/long term couples only.
What do I do here? Do I just suck it up and let this stranger into the most intimate day of our lives? I’m already freaked out about the number of people because I don’t do well being the center of attention and I KNOW all these people….
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
If you have an empty seat just give it to her. It will save you a lot of arguments with your soon to be husband. It’s rude for the friend to assume he can bring someone but if your husband is sticking up for him is this a mountain you are willing to die on?
Post # 4
OP, is this one girl really worth this much negative time, energy, and arguments. Honestly, on your wedding day you will not even notice her. You will be so focused on your new hubby, and your family and friends, and all of the love and joy around you two—trust me.
Just chalk it up as a good deed for your buddy, and don’t let this add to your stress of an already overwhelming time. Good luck and have fun!
Post # 5
@Miss T-Rex: I think with the stress of your wedding being 6 weeks away you’re allowing yourself to overthink things and the rational side of your brain has shut down. I know $100 is a LOT of money, but the fact of the matter remains that this issue is not worth the stress you’re causing yourself.
Think of it this way: All of this time and effort and energy you’re wasting fretting over this, is it worth it to save $100? Would you spend $100 for some peace of mind 6 weeks away from your wedding?
To me, the answer is simple. Yes I would. (Applying this to your situation… not trying to get into what ifs here)
Post # 6
I think it depends on if other guests get a plus one. I was in a wedding where my FI wasn’t invited (long story) due to their plus one policy and it caused a lot of tension between me and the bride. If all your other guests gets a plus one, then your FI’s friend should get one too.
Post # 7
I too put my foot down on a few last minute guest list additions by my mom and sister but in the end it made me look like a crazy ‘zilla and hurt those I loved AND caused me a lot of stress and anger. They won I lost and I didn’t even notice those people at my wedding b/c it was all about me and my DH and our immediate family and friends who I spent my time with.
You might have to let this one go and let the buddy have a +1. It could be worse, much worse. A little goodwill and a peace offering of a +1 would appease the buddy and your FI and that’s better than pissing them both off so close to the wedding and in the process giving you added stress and possible guilt over the actions or things you might say in anger. Speaking from experience, it’s not worth it, let it go. Good luck and focus on you and FI, it will be the best day of your life!