Post # 1
I need help!
So, we don’t have a registry…we will have a gift box at the wedding….or more should we say a “cash” box. It’s kind of unspoken that instead of a registry and boxed gifts, people bring…money.
There have been a few emails and text messages from certain guests unfamiliar with this, asking for the registry, so my fiance and I set up a honeymoon registry. But that’s kind of the same, but just a nicer way of saying please no boxed gifts.
One of my friends just gave me a heads up that certain guests have assumed that no registry means no gift needed…so they are just going to show up at the wedding empty handed because there was no registry.
Should I have a bridesmaid send an email out saying “no boxed gifts” or mention the honeymoon registry? I feel uncomfortable talking about money and gifts to the guests, and want to avoid it at all costs!
Anyone experience this?
Post # 3
Most people will bring a check/cash as a gift but in my experience someone will just go out and buy something and give it to you. I would not have anyone send out a note saying “no boxed gifts.” This could be seen the wrong way.
Post # 4
I think that by choosing not to have a registry to you are opening yourself up to people not gifting something, some people just aren’t comfortable gifting money, it can seem crass.
Gifts are not required anyway, boxed or not.
Definitely don’t spread the word on purpose so those that aren’t aware that no registry means you want money aren’t randomly told. Do let close friends/family know so that if they are asked they can make sure to tell people your wishes.
Post # 5
I would consider creating a small registry. If you don’t you will just get crap you don’t want.
Post # 6
I think this is regional because some Bees have reported that cash is the norm at weddings vs boxed gifts. I can say that some of my friends of Eastern descent tend to get way more cash gifts than boxed gifts.
However, this appears to be somewhat uncommon in your area as indicated by the fact that some guests feel they can show up empty-handed. I think it is rather unusual and am suprised anyone would do that. I speak from experience that when my ILs don’t see a registry, they’ll bring a boxed gift, not cash (unless it was a close family member or friend).
Post # 7
Some good friends of mine did not have a registry. They very subtly had the word spread that they did not need household goods, but would love guests to make charity donations in their honor, and they were saving for future travel (this was not written down anywhere. They had their moms say this when asked). They got a lot of cash, and a bunch of people gave them physical gifts. Nothing crazy or hidious though. They had a table with a guestbook that people put gifts and cards on. It worked just fine. It was a fairly small wedding though-only about 75 guests.
Post # 8
We aren’t having a registry and so far it’s created some problems. Apparently people really want registries. We don’t have room for gifts though, so we really can’t register.
Post # 9
I agree with Americanos first part. “I think that by choosing not to have a registry to you are opening yourself up to people not gifting something, some people just aren’t comfortable gifting money, it can seem crass. Gifts are not required anyway, boxed or not. “
If you are worried about not getting gifts from people since you dont have a registry go createa small one so those people feel like they have an option. Alot of people (especially those younger) may feel awkward just giving cash… they also may not know norms yet of weddings.
Post # 10
Cash is def the norm here. Registries are generally for showers. I would just set up a little registry for guest who insist on buying a boxed gift. No I wouldn’t direct anyone to tell people you want cash, it makes you & them look rude.