Post # 1
hear me out: I own a home… a tiny rowhouse in the city that is jam packed with everything I need. I could probably think of 10 things that I would put on a registry. FI is the same way. What we would really like is money. In my immediate family, we always give cash to people for weddings, birthdays, presents in general. But what about other guests and FI’s family?
I know there are people out there that flat out refuse to give a monetary gift. So should I register for 20 things that we would actually like to have? Should I not register at all?
Are there any brides out there that are against giving and receiving monetary gifts?
We are North-East people (Northern New Jersey, PA, NYC, Baltimore)… if that has any influence. I know monetary gifts may be a big no-no in the southern states.
Post # 3
I did not do a registry. We basically got cash from all our guests.
Worked out great!
Post # 4
We were the same way! We registered for about 20 things on amazon.com, and then did a Honeyfund.com registry (was free – they don’t take a fee out, and the money goes to you, not to a travel agent). We are saving for a big trip to Asia on our 1-year anniversary, and people happily donated. Nobody thought it was rude or grumbles (we have family spread out over literally the entire country)
Post # 5
We’re doing a honeymoon registry…that’s where any cash we get will go anyway. I know my family in the South would probably still buy me something useless for Bed Bath and Beyond…so I’ll register there for some stuff and pray their return policy is as good as everyone says it is!! We DEFINITELY don’t need more crap for our house!
Post # 6
@crayfish:cool! I was wondering about honeyfund. Good to know that they don’t charge you anything. We want to go to Italy for a honeymoon. Flights alone are $2700 round trip for the both of us!
Post # 7
yes, honeymoon registry is the way to go! i am doing one and what happens is that right before you leave (or anytime actually), you can request that all the cash that has been bought for your honeymoon gets deposited right in your bank account. the cool thing about it is that your guest still get to buy “items”. The options i had to register for were things like: dinner for two, room upgrade, horsebacking etc….basically activities, but all you get is the money before you leave and you can actually spend it on what you want.
Post # 8
We were not going to register but my mom kept telling me that people were asking her what to get us and she didn’t have any ideas. We ended up registering for maybe 30 items. We couldn’t think of much we actually needed and just registered for the things we were missing around the house. Little did I know that most people purchased these gifts for my shower and ended up giving money for our wedding anyway.
Not registering doesn’t mean you’ll get only cash though. My brother did not register and many guests still gave them random gifts for their wedding. Most poeople did give cash but there were several non-cash gifts…my aunt gave them a vase made from rolled magazines…so random and somethig my SIL laughs at daily.
Post # 9
We did not register. We got all cash/checks, gift cards, restaurant gift certificates etc. We got 2 actual present-gifts (like in a box)- and we liked them both.
Post # 10
Countless people do not give cash gifts for any reason. You should register for what you need and want. Everyone needs to replace something at some point and some guests might rather give you something fun that isn’t a household appliance (a board game, camping equipment, etc) than try to determine on their own what they think you want. If you don’t register at all, you will get random gifts people think you want (that you don’t) and you can’t return them anywhere. Never assume that you will get cash if you don’t register since that is not the case the majority of the time, contrary to popular belief.
Post # 11
We owned a home and were planning on moving right after the wedding so we didn’t want a lot of gifts. We had people spread the word about cash if they were asked and only registered for a few things. We also didn’t have a bridal shower, since those events are for gifts.
Post # 12
We both had our own houses before we moved into one together, so we have 2 of EVERYTHING. I used to joke that if I had a shower (which I didn’t), I would GIVE everyone something from our house just to get rid of things! There was no way I was going to register for more stuff.
My mom came up with the line “contribution to their home improvement fund” instead of saying “cash”. We ended up getting 99% cash gifts and only 3 boxed gifts.
It also helped that we had a smaller wedding and everyone invited knew us and our situation personally. I think you kinda have to know your audience.
Post # 13
In general, I never give cash to peers–I think my policy might change once I’m older and we’re talking about my friends’ children, but as it stands now, I don’t. And I resent being asked for cash in any form–“cash is appreciated,” gift certificates, honeyfund, whatever. So I would appreciate a small registry.
But I’m just one person. Chances are, you won’t have a big problem.
Post # 14
you could do what we did- use a “wish” registry- you put actual items (household too!) on there, but you get cash in the end. It works for us because we are remodeling a moneypit we bought- we need things like floors, lighting, some furniture, etc- so people can “Buy” that for us, but we end up getting money- so they are helping us build our house- which is way more important to me than expensive dishes or wine glasses!
we are using http://www.uponourstar.com – so far, no complaints!
Post # 15
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I know people who didn’t have a registry and got cash, and people who didn’t have a registry and got random crap they didn’t want/couldn’t use or return. I know people who registered for gifts and got cash, people who registered for gifts and got gifts they registered for, and people who registered for gifts and got random crap again. So I’d say it depends entirely on your guests. 🙂
I’d do a small registry at a store that isn’t too easy to shop at (no Macy’s, or when your gifts run out people will give you a bunch of Macy’s gift cards) and a honeymoon/cash registry. Gets the point across.
Post # 16
We are doing a honeymoon registry since we dont need more stuff, and a small gift registry for people who insist on a gift they can wrap.
If you just want cash i would do what PP and make a small registry somewhere for peopl who refuse to give cash so you wont get random junk that you will just return anyway.