NO registry. Do I still have a bridal shower?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Well the point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts, so if you’re not registering and you don’t need anything then no I don’t think you should have a shower. If you don’t have a registry people will get stuff you reallyyy don’t need/want. I’d just have a get together brunch or something if you really want a party but say no gifts. 

Post # 3
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t believe the registry dictates whether or not you have a shower. It all depends on whether or not someone wants to plan one for you or not. If someone else wants to plan a shower for you, and you don’t have a registry, you could always just have something like a tea party (make sure guests know not to bring a gift). Or, as I’ve seen elsewhere, a “bedroom” themed shower with sheets, lingerie, etc. 

Or, here’s an idea I just found on the innerwebz and may have to do myself: A stock-the-bar shower! 

Stock-the-Bar Shower: You might call this using a bridal shower as an excuse to drink, but I call it great fun. It’s like throwing a cocktail party but with gifts. Put together an awesome playlist and some pitchers of cocktails or perhaps a champagne punch. Of course you’ll also want some chic hors d’oeuvres for nibbling.

Instead of bridal shower games, you can have a wine tasting, a mixology lesson, or just and relaxed mingling. Send guests home with some fun recipes for new drinks, a pretty martini glass, or other fun drink-themed favor. http://weddings.about.com/od/bridalshowers/a/Planning-A-Non-Traditional-Bridal-Shower.htm

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Xu.
  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Xu.
Post # 4
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I don’t have a registry and my mother/MOH are planning a shower. My FI is adament about no registry as he thinks its asking for gifts. I tried changing his mind but to no avail.

Post # 5
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think if you’re having a shower you should have some sort of registry. I would be a little annoyed not knowing what the bride wanted since I’m terrible at gift giving.

Post # 6
Member
8419 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it depends on what you’re going for.  Usually no registry = would like cash for gifts (at least in my area/social circle), so I would imagine that a shower with no registry would mean that the bride wanted cash gifts.  If you just want to spend time with friends and family, maybe you could opt for a bridal luncheon or bridal tea party instead.

Post # 7
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

 

keti.telia:  I think you should create a registry.  Here is why… (and it has nothing to do with a bridal shower)

  • Not everyone is comfortable giving cash as a wedding gift.  A registry would allow these guests a list of items that they can purchase
  • A registry may prevent you from getting gifts that you really don’t need or want (say three toasters or an ugly vase???)
  • can you think of anything that you may want to upgrade? (bedding, microwave, toaster oven????

As for the shower, you could always have a ladies luncheon…… but I think people will feel compelled to bring a gift………

Post # 8
Member
11717 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Nope, you don’t really have a bridal shower if you don’t register for things, because the point of the shower is to “shower” the bride with gifts.

You could have a bridal tea/luncheon if you wanted to have a smaller pre-wedding event.

Post # 10
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

A bridal shower is not the place to get cash gifts.  I have been to 2 showers where the bride did not have a traditional registry and both were the most awkward experiences ever.  One shower the bride had requested cash because they were saving for a house down payment.  So she got mostly envelopes at the shower, which she opened, read what was on the card, and the amount of cash she received. It was horrible.  The second the bride had a ‘honeyfund’ but she didn’t open any cards.  It had a very definite ‘Hey, come have lunch and give me cash’ feeling to it.  

If you are going to have a shower, either have a very small registry, or have a theme – stock the bar, spa/makeup, lingerie shower, or honeymoon stuff.  Or have a lot of really ticked off shower guests.

 

 

 

 

Post # 12
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

 

keti.telia:  Most people that attend a shower give a gift. Most people that attend a wedding give a gift.  A shower and a wedding are two different events.  Hence, both technically warrant bringing a gift……

Post # 13
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If you really don’t need any household items, you don’t have to register! Your guests can bring a dish to share, a recipe to give you, a canned good you can donate to the food bank.  I love getting gifts and don’t think it’s materialistic to register for your shower, but I hate to see people register for random items they don’t need just because they’re “supposed to register”.     

Post # 14
Member
6505 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You “deserve a shower”? That made me raise my eyebrows a bit.

Honestly, if I was invited to a shower and there was no registry I would be annoyed. Whenevet I go to a shower the bride opens presents for most of the event. I don’t get the point of having a shower if there is nothing to open. I also think people will just buy you random things if you have a shower and don’t have a registry. Most people won’t feel comfortable just bringing money (myself included).

Post # 15
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

 

keti.telia:  If you don’t think the “shower” makes sense, what about a brunch or tea?  All the women in your family, and friends, can just get together to celebrate you but it doesn’t quite have the same “bring a gift” feel to it.

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