Post # 1
Um, I’m sure there’s about 5,000 posts on here somewhere about the “tactfulness” of registering or not registering for the wedding. To be blunt, this wedding is going to be more expensive than my FI and I can afford (I know, I know don’t spend beyond your means! I know! But, we are just hydroplaning on excitement, and things are adding up quickly! ( I mean, we’re not forgoing food and shelter…yet. But, ya, you guys get the idea) just kidding, by the way.
anywho, is there really ANY way to insinuate you would appreciate cash and checks for your gifts, and not “stuff” as,we really don’t need “stuff”,we need to pay vendors LOL
obviously, anybody who gives us ANY sort of gift, we are MORE than appreciative of it, it would just be so relieving to get some monetary help after shelling out big bucks on our wedding.
are there any thoughts on this? Or should we just bite the bullet and register for fine china and ice cream makers??? Ugh, LOL
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
I think your best bet to receive cash with staying tactful would be to not say anything at all. If people don’t know what to get you, they might give you cash or they might give you a random blender. There isn’t a polite way to specify cash, though.
Post # 4
We made a small registry for people who prefer to give a gift. And if anyone asks our parents, they are letting them know that we would appreciate money (it’s more a travel issue for us than an actual need for money – you can only fit so much in a suitcase LOL).
Also, we didn’t include registry infomation on our invitations, so I think a lot of people will just give us cash rather than look up the registry info on our website.
Post # 5
@MUAbride2be: just don’t create a registry, people (most) will get the hint. Nothing says you have to have a registry, and while we do have one, it’s small. I wasn’t going to register for a bunch of stuff we don’t really want or need just to give people something to buy. Once the registry has been bought out, I am hoping everyone else will just give money. If someone asks, just say you’re not doing a registry 🙂
Post # 6
If you don’t register, most people get the idea. Some people will also ask what you want, and in that case there’s nothing wrong with being honest.
Post # 7
@MUAbride2be: We are trying for no presents at all (well except for cards, but I don’t count those). I argued with my FI for months that we needed a small registry, but he vetoed because he didn’t even want to suggest gifts. Instead, we’ve told everyone that we don’t have room for stuff in our tiny apartment. However, I already know of three guests who are completely ignoring us and getting us stuff. My MOH even refused and is sending us a present! *Sigh* I’m expecting a crystal toaster and, based on FSIL’s questions/hints, bedsheets spun from gold.
I would talk to your parents and get them to spread the word for you. That’s really the only way to ask for money in a semi-acceptable way. However, I’d also put together at least a small registry of things you need so that the people who must buy a physical gift have some guidance.
Post # 8
Great advice guys! Thanks, makes me feel better!
Post # 9
@MUAbride2be: Have a wishing well. Simple! Include a little poem or something in your invites (on a separate piece of paper) to let the know
“We’ve no need for linen and toasters
Fancy plates or crystal coasters
We don’t need any more stuff
We rather think we have enough!
If you want to wish us well
Please donate to our wishing well
Save the worry and the fuss
And simply celebrate with us”
(Literally just came up with that, feel free to use it as a base point 😉 )
Post # 10
@HisMoon: thank you for the good advice
Post # 11
@alsgirl: omg!!! Your a poet! So awesome!!! Thank you! Lol
Post # 12
I personally don’t like receiving wishing well poems/requests, but I also don’t mind giving money as a guest. I would advise letting both sets of parents know and leave the grapevine to do it’s thing.
If you’re asked directly just say you don’t want anything because you have too much clutter and stuff in your house.
Post # 13
I give cash almost always, and being “asked” for cash in an invitation is probably the quickest way to get me to seriously decrease the amount I give. Especially if you refer to it as a “donation”, unless you’re a registered charity sending me a tax receipt.
Just register for very few things, (or not at all, but then be prepared for the people who will only give physical gifts to get “creative”) and when asked directly what you’d like say something like “we’re trying to save up for X”, and have your mom/MIL say some sort of similar line since they’re the other place people are most likely to ask if/where you’ve registered. People know people like cash. It’s not rocket science. Give your guests a little credit. No need to include anything in the invite.
Post # 14
No. And please revisit your budget. Read the the thread about the bride who berrated her guest for not giving enough to covwhether wedding expenses. Spend what you can afford or wait until you can afford what you want.
And no on the wishing well. Just no. You make no reference to gifts I invites. Period.
Post # 15
Poems do not make asking for money any less rude. Just don’t register. Everyone will figure it out.
Oh, and don’t have a bigger wedding than you can afford. You never know what people will give. You don’t want to end up putting stuff on a high interest credit card and not getting as much as you expected.
Post # 16
@SapphireSun: I see this as a bit vindictive… Would you really penalize marrying loved ones just for being honest?