Weddingbee boards

I have two brothers.  One has distanced himself a bit. We only talk if I initiate the contact and our conversations have always been brief.  Our relationship saddened me for a long time, especially since he and his wife have two awesome kids (one of whom is my god child), but I've dealt with the disappointment and moved on.

They don't call me and they screen their calls, so I sent them a nice email last week to ask if their kids would be in my bridal party.  No response.

Now, it's time to get addresses ready to address our Save the Dates and I'm wondering how to handle the invitation for the brother who doesn't seem interested in having his children in the party.  The only children we're inviting to the wedding are the ones in the wedding party (that was going to be 7 kids, now 5).

My MOH says just address the STD to my brother and his wife.   I wonder if I should pursue them more aggressively to get a response about their children or do as my MOH says.

What do you think?

Is there anyone else in the family that is still in contact with said brother that can ask for you?

I would try calling before giving up on having them in your bridal party. On the other hand I know you are only having kids from wedding party at the wedding. But seeing as how these are your nieces/nephews one of whom is your god child? Isn't that cause for an exception regardless??

The wife is a drama queen and if they aren't involved, my life will go on.  I have five other awesome nieces and nephews.

I'm just wondering how long I'm supposed to wait.

The problem with calling is that they just moved.  I emailed today to ask for their new address since they didn't send moving announcements.

@MidwestBride2012:Good point.  I worry that they'll see their cousins in the party and be sad. Then again, they might not even be planning on coming to the wedding at this point.

@vmec:I wasn't talking about physical distance.  It's emotional distance.  They don't talk to me or my other brother.  They only talk to my parents.

I just emailed my mother to see if she'll intervene. 

I also just left them a message asking for their address.  I'm not holding my breath on hearing from them.

This is so sad.  My life is pretty much drama free except for this.  I guess I'm lucky that this is all I have to deal with.

UPDATE: They finally replied.  I didn't hear back the last time, so I emailed a few days ago to ask for the address (why don't people send moving announcements anymore?!?).  The response was that they are looking forward to the wedding, but that they'd "rather not" have their children in the wedding.

I felt rejected.  I cried harder than I've cried in a while (even had red speckles around my eyes in the morning).  BUT, I have six other nephews/nieces who will be in the wedding and it'll be great.

They hurt me in the short term, but they're hurting their children in the longrun.

This SIL has some major issues in her past and I thing she does things to stir things up in our family (not sure if it's subconscious or she plots these things out).  I guess things were going too smoothly!  

My mother and other SIL were floored.  Without them, our lives are pretty much drama free. 

@Jeannine @ Small Chic:

Awe. I'm so sorry. *hugs* But at least they will be coming to the wedding, that's a plus!