No ring proposal/engagement

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
  • poll: Do you consider someone to be engaged without a ring?
    Yes : (214 votes)
    54 %
    No : (71 votes)
    18 %
    You're being selfish and/or crazy : (20 votes)
    5 %
    This is a normal feeling, don't fret : (95 votes)
    24 %
  • Member
    125 posts
    Blushing bee

    If you want a ring why not just get a stand in for temporary purposes? It may be a good idea to bring up to your SO to get a CZ  , moissy or something like that for now until you are both more comfortable with spending money on a lifetime ring, and you will have something to look at and get an idea of what you like and can afford in the meantime.

     

    Atleast this way you can say , this is the ring I am wearing until we can both find something we both love enough to keep for life. Good luck to you and don’t let anyone make you feel awkward about whatever decision you and your SO do make.

    Member
    2441 posts
    Buzzing bee

    It is pretty hard for me to wrap my head around a couple being engaged without a ring. I agree a “stand in” ring might do the trick and you don’t have to break the bank!

    Member
    2788 posts
    Sugar bee

    A ring doesn’t make an engagement, it’s simply a symbol of the commitment you are making to eachother. Not having a ring won’t make your commitment any less committed.

    Member
    6210 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I don’t think there is anything wrong with a no ring engagement or a no ring marriage.

    I don’t need a materialistic object, an overpriced ring of metal and shiny stones to prove to myself, my husband, or to the world that I love my husband and am 100% committed to him.

    I don’t need a ring to ward off “suitors” because I love my husband enough to tell them no.

    I don’t need a ring as a fashion statement, or a statement based on how “much he loves me” or how much we make.

    At the end of the day, I just want to be with my husband, and if that means no formal wedding, no ring, no frills, that’s fine with me.

    Member
    1385 posts
    Bumble bee

    I was engaged for a few months without a ring. My fiance asked me to marry him and I said yes, therefore we were engaged.  A ring means nothing in the grand sceam of things, if the commitment is there then what else do you need?  Yes it is the most important piece of jewlery you will ever wear but it is still just jewlery.  If you lost your wedding ring and didn’t have one for a while would you still be married? It’s the same thing.  Having a ring is really special and it will feel great once it is on your finger and you are selfish for wanting one, but don’t worry to much about not having yet, because it is knowing that your SO is completely commited to you that is important.

    Member
    948 posts
    Busy bee

    An engagement is an engagement. Rings are nice, but not necessary. I mean, I would still consider a couple married if they didn’t have a traditional wedding, and instead went to the courthouse. Who cares what people think. All that matter is the love and committment you two have for one another. Hope it all works out! :)

    Member
    6407 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I do see an engagement as just as legit without a ring. However, I know I’d really like one. That’s normal. It is so common to have one in our culture, and even my FI wants a man-gagement ring.

    If money were an issue I would ask for a plain gold band. If it were even more of an issue… silver, or even steel. I don’t like “fake” anything, but there’s always an elegant, cost-effective option.

    Member
    1918 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I see an engagement as just the same with or without a ring. A ring is nice and sparkly, but unnecessary.

    You can always get a temporary ring like CZ, or if you think sentimentality would cause problems with that, get a band first and choose a solitaire later that he can put on your finger at your wedding (so opposite order as usual).

    Member
    1343 posts
    Bumble bee

    Engagement rings are primarily common in Western culture, I’m not ethnocentric so I understand that many engagements are valid no matter their differences and think that betrothal “gifts” are something that should be mutally given (ie. I plan on getting my SO a watch for engagement when the time comes, I’d be happy with a watch or ring, whatever he wants to give me) or not given at all. I think the most important part of engagement is the mutal understanding that you will be married soon. Rings and things are just bonuses and not necessary. 

    Member
    305 posts
    Helper bee

    I would definitely get a CZ or some type of stand-in ring for the time being.  You can find BEAUTIFUL rings from less than $500 and even less than $100.

    Member
    426 posts
    Helper bee

    @LemonyItch:  My fiance and I are still pretty tight with expenses.  I’m in college and he had recently just chaned jobs and bought a new car.  What we did (I went with him to pick out my engagement ring before we were engaged) was that instead of spending $1000+  on a diamond, we opted for a white saphire. NO ONE notices the difference and ppl say how pretty and shinny my diamond is.

    My saphire is pretty huge and was $250. So that could be an option for you.

     

    I fully support stand in rings.  We’re gonna replace my saphire with a real diamond on our one year anniversary when we’ll be established in our jobs.  My sister and her fiance also used a stand in ring, i believe he bought it from kohls or macy’s. It was like a $50 ring that looked like an engagement ring.

    Hope that helps!

    Member
    105 posts
    Blushing bee

    Yes someone can ask without a ring and its an engagement but the ring is symbolic of that. doesn’t matter if the ring costs $100 or $10,000 the ring is the public signifier that you are officially taken, in my opinion.

    Member
    1733 posts
    Bumble bee

    An engagement is not dependent on a ring. An engagement is an agreement to marry. No jewelery necessary for that.

    I was engaged without a ring, I opted not to have one at the time for various reasons. Somehow we still managed to be married a couple months later so obviously we were engaged. So yeah, not necessary.

    I did get rings later on, after we were married but again, even if I do not wear them I am still married. Rings do not themselves make the engagement or the marriage. At least I sure hope not!

    ETA: also, I agree with Hyperventilate in full. I do not need to publicly “prove” I am “taken” by wearing a ring (I actually hate that terminology and concept…my husband and I both freely choose to be together, freely love each other, we are equals, we are not there to be “taken” by the other or anything of that sort, we do not own each other after all). 

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